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Morrissey

Johnny Marr Is Right To Say That Use Of Smiths Songs On Adverts Doesn’t Sully Their Memory

by Mof Gimmers on November 17, 2011 1 Comment

There has been the vague, wet, typical outpouring of mild-ire surrounding an indie band allowing one of their songs to be used in advertising. It’s ‘selling-out’ apparently. And god knows, that’s the worst thing an indie band can be accused of, right?

And of course, there’s a terribly saccharine John Lewis advertisement that’s doing the Christmas rounds this year which features a cover version of The Smiths’ ‘Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want’.

Johnny Marr is at pains to point out that the song featuring in a commercial doesn’t sully the memory of the song at all and The Smiths haven’t sold out, actually. And you know something, he’s right to say that it doesn’t sully the memory of the band.

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Morrissey Is Clearly Having A Breakdown As He Compares Norway Killings To Fast Food

by Mof Gimmers on July 29, 2011 4 Comments

Is Morrissey having a very public nervous breakdown? It certainly seems that way. See, at the moment, you can’t move for stories about him being wildly erratic and saying things which aren’t as considered as they once were.

Of course, The Mozfather has always been good for a quote and, indeed, regardless of the fact he has contributed to some of the most awful music ever cut to wax, he was always worth reading about.

However, these days he’s less a vinegary old tart with a razor sharp wit and more a bumbling idiot, dribbling out nonsense in a bid to get any sort of attention from the world. No, he’s not ordering security staff to strip-search the people of Middlesbrough for secreted meats, but comparing the savage killings in Norway to fast-food.

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Morrissey Hates His Fans, The Music Industry, The Smiths, The Internet And YOU. Probably.

by Paul Pencott on July 1, 2011 1 Comment

STOP THE PRESS! Or update the gossip website really quickly or something! Swarthy Alan Bennett-wannabee Steven ‘Morrissey’ Morrissey is a bit grumpy about some things!

Anyone who has seen a recent photo of the stocky serenader would think the irony of his well-known vegetarian fizzog currently resembling someone who belongs behind the counter of your local butchers has annoyed him but NO! He’s grumpy about EVERY SINGLE THING THAT GIVES HIM ANY SORT OF A PUBLIC PROFILE EVER!

The utter WEAPON.

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Morrissey Has A Whine And A Bitch About The Royal Family

by Matthew Laidlow on June 20, 2011 5 Comments

If there was ever an example of a grown man acting like a stubborn child, then we’d have to point in the direction of Morrissey [or ourselves - Ed]. We imagine that if he was still at school, he’d be the child cursing the sunshine on a warm sunny day and generally mooching around the playground with a storm cloud permanently attached to his head.

For those unfamiliar with Moz, he was the lead singer with the vastly overrated and generally annoying band The Smiths. At the time, Moz and his band of merry men might have looked like radicals, but by today’s standards, he’s just a whiny tit.

But to his credit Morrissey has stuck to his guns and protested his hatred for the royal family. Despite the rest of the country recently warming to William and Kate, Morrissey is still upset with the Winsors.

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Morrissey Dosen’t Like the Queen’s Penchant for Fur Hats

by Mof Gimmers on August 4, 2010 0 Comments

Morrissey. He’s an icon to limp wristed introverts who hole themselves up in their bedrooms with shelves full of kitchen sink dramas and books of dreadful self-written mewing poetry about being misunderstood and shit. They’re all very individual of course and don’t all flock to Salford Lad’s Club for yet another stupid photo.

Now, as lame as Mozza is, he’s always good value in interviews when he’s in Queen Bitch mode. Now he’s having a pop at Queen. No, not Freddie Mercury’s corpse or Brian May’s clogs. Rather, he doesn’t like Her Majesty the Queen’s liking of fur hats.

That’d be hats made from cute animals. Just in case you didn’t know where fur came from. Imagine Kissyfur. Now imagine wearing him as a nice snood. Appealing eh? Read More >>>

Morrissey Declares War On Hamburgers In Hamburg

by Matthew Laidlow on November 20, 2009 7 Comments

morrisseyJesus, we know when we’re being outdone. Most of the time, it’s when an unborn Japanese child severely beats us on FIFA. And we don’t mean by using the hand of God in extra time.

And then there’s Morrissey. Somehow, Morrissey is classed as a genius despite still singing songs that an old band of his wrote years ago and releasing solo albums that are properly gash.

Recently, Morrissey has had a bit of problems on the gig scene. He passed out in Swindon and then got twatted in the face with a cup in Liverpool. Surely it’s full steam ahead from here, right? Wrong! Continuing his tour to Hamburg, Morrissey got narked off with a fan who dared boo his miserable rant on meat-eaters. And what happened? Find out after the jump!

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Watch Morrissey Get Smacked In The Head With A Cup

by Matthew Laidlow on November 9, 2009 6 Comments

mozEveryone knows Morrissey. He’s that loveable vegan from Manchester who complains about everything and then goes in to a big vegetable huff when things go pear-shaped.

Only a couple of weeks ago, he collapsed at a gig in Swindon. Perhaps he saw what the people there looked like and wanted out. Pronto.

In the latest shenanigan involving the former Smiths front man, he got pelted with a plastic cup of water in Liverpool. Now he didn’t fall over, his feeble vegan body did manage to withstand the force of the close range throw. Still, he did get soaked worse than a potato patch and stormed off the stage. Interested in seeing the video? Of course you are. It’s right after the jump.

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Morrissey All Boo Hoo With Meat Eaters At Coachella Festival

by Matthew Laidlow on April 20, 2009 20 Comments

Morrissey, Coachella, VegetarianHooray! It’s that time of year again where bands of all genres play to thousands of music lovers around the world.

And, thanks to its eclectic line-up and decent weather, Coachella is becoming one of the biggest. Hosted in a Californian desert, people flock from all over America to attend.

One of this year’s performers was Morrissey – a man so removed of happiness that a trip to a furniture shop, a stint watching paint dry and a visit to a cemetery bring more joy than an hour of his company. The much-publicised vegetarian got slightly pissy during his Friday slot as his nostrils sniffed the odour of burgers and other meaty delights. Of course he didn’t keep his opinions to himself.

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Johnny Borrell To Be Murdered

by hecklerspray staff

Good news, people: the world’s second biggest twat, otherwise known as Jonathan Edward Borrell, is to be murdered.

OK, OK, yeahyeahyeah, it’s only going to happen in a movie, but sometimes life imitates art, right? Right? Right. We can but hope. Our fingers remain firmly crossed.

Borrell is to star in the new film by Antonia Bird and Irvine Welsh, named The Meat Trade, and he’ll be killed by two grave robbers, played by Robert Carlyle and Colin Firth. Jonathan Edward told the Daily Star:

“It’s going to be so much fun. I love horror and I’m a really big fan of Irvine Welsh’s work. I loved Trainspotting.”

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You There! Be In A Morrissey Advert!

by Stuart Heritage

No, not a Morrisons advert – Alan Hansen and Lulu are already doing a bang-up job of starring in those bloody things themselves – a Morrissey advert.

As you probably know, Morrissey has a Greatest Hits collection coming out soon – even though two thirds of the songs on it are from his last two pretty ropey albums – and he needs your help with adverts for it.

Everyone reading this has a chance to be in the new Morrissey adverts, provided they love Morrissey enough to have previously mutilated their body out of chronically misplaced devotion to the man. He’s an email we got telling how you people can get involved:

Decca today launches an online search for the most devoted Morrissey fans to star in the advert for his new Greatest Hits album. Do you have any Morrissey tattoos? Have you ever graffiti’d Morrissey’s name on a wall? Do you own amazing Morrissey Memorabilia? Then this is your chance to show it.

Entrants should send high quality jpeg images illustrating their devotion to Morrissey to morrisseyadvert@googlemail.com. The best images will be used in the advertising for Morrissey – Greatest Hits.

If this sounds like you then a) seriously? and b) good luck. We’ll have to live this one vicariously through you, because it’s too late for us. We misread the subject of the email and rushed out to have a massive picture of Alan Hansen pushing a trolley tattooed on our back. Damn our hastiness. Damn it to hell.

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