No, not a Morrisons advert – Alan Hansen and Lulu are already doing a bang-up job of starring in those bloody things themselves – a Morrissey advert.
As you probably know, Morrissey has a Greatest Hits collection coming out soon – even though two thirds of the songs on it are from his last two pretty ropey albums – and he needs your help with adverts for it.
Everyone reading this has a chance to be in the new Morrissey adverts, provided they love Morrissey enough to have previously mutilated their body out of chronically misplaced devotion to the man. He's an email we got telling how you people can get involved:
Decca today launches an online search for the most devoted Morrissey fans to star in the advert for his new Greatest Hits album. Do you have any Morrissey tattoos? Have you ever graffiti'd Morrissey's name on a wall? Do you own amazing Morrissey Memorabilia? Then this is your chance to show it.
Entrants should send high quality jpeg images illustrating their devotion to Morrissey to [email protected]. The best images will be used in the advertising for Morrissey – Greatest Hits.
If this sounds like you then a) seriously? and b) good luck. We'll have to live this one vicariously through you, because it's too late for us. We misread the subject of the email and rushed out to have a massive picture of Alan Hansen pushing a trolley tattooed on our back. Damn our hastiness. Damn it to hell.