Hey girls, did you know you’ll never be as beautiful as Kate Hudson? You didn’t? Well you’re not, so why don’t you just hurl yourself under a lorry or something.
We’re not being cruel here, we’re just stating a fact. People magazine has named its most beautiful people of the year and Kate Hudson has won. You weren’t even in the top ten, you massive uggo.
Don’t get sad, it’s the truth. And you can’t dispute that a massive magazine like People doesn’t know what it’s talking about, because look at the runners-up who came after Kate Hudson – Mary J Blige, Bruce Willis‘ daughter, a woman we’ve never heard of whose name is Beard, the ginger woman who got her minge out in Short Cuts. That’s beauty you just can’t argue with, girls.