Chances are your minds have spent the last few weeks racing with worries about Jennifer Lopez's twins – do they have their mother's eyes? Do they have the right amount of fingers? Is one of them a bear? Were either of them born fully-qualified airline pilots – but now the truth is finally out.
The first pictures of Jennifer Lopez's twin babies have been published on the front cover of today's People magazine. And the good news is that, judging by the pictures, both of Jennifer Lopez's twins look perfectly fine – although if we were Marc Anthony might want a DNA paternity test just to clear up any lingering suspicion that Jennifer wasn't knocked up by a Boobah. Really, the resemblance is uncanny.
As if you didn't know, Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins last month. In many ways, Jennifer Lopez was always going to a perfect mother – she'd been through a parade of men to find which would be the most suitable father for her children, suing some failed candidates and making others wish that they'd never met her, plus her gigantic arse is the ideal counterbalance for a papoose. What more could you ask for?
Six million dollars in cash? Why, yes, that'd help as well. So it's just as well that Jennifer Lopez signed an exclusive $6 million deal with People magazine for exclusive rights to her baby pictures. After all, Jennifer's love might not cost a thing but that's only because her love wasn't about to chew on her nipples until they're ragged and shit everywhere.
And now, finally, the photos of Jennifer Lopez's twins Maximiano and Emelina have finally been published in People magazine. It's hard to tell what the twins are like from one photo, but both babies appear to have their eyes closed, which suggests that Marc Anthony is off camera showing them their new garishly matching Roberto Cavelli velour tracksuits. Anyway, The Sun reports:
Jennifer Lopez proudly shows off her baby twins Max and Emme on the front cover of People magazine. The mag reportedly forked out £3million to get the first pictures of the twins, who are just four weeks old. New mum J-Lo is clearly besotted with her new arrivals, though she will be spending some time away from them when she starts filming new movie Love and Other Possible Pursuits later this year.
But let's not be too hasty with the praise for Jennifer Lopez here – true, she might have two healthy baby and an obscenely overpaid baby photo deal with a magazine, but let's not forget that selling baby photos to a magazine might cause untold psychological emotional damage to the babies themselves.
Look at Christina Aguilera, for example – everyone cared so little about her baby photos that it'll now have to struggle through its formative years with everyone knowing that it's a massive social reject. What if the same thing happens to Jennifer Lopez's twins? What if nobody buys this edition of People magazine? How will the babies cope?
We think they'll be alright. At the very least People has ensured that the magazine will have a higher circulation than if Marc Anthony and his weirdly gaunt spooked-out horror movie face was on the cover. It'd have been lucky to sell five copies if that happened.