Dina Lohan: ‘Look At Lindsay Lohan’s Naked Boobs! They’re Awesome!’

Lindsay Lohan Naked Dina Lohan New York Magazine Marilyn MonroeSeveral things must have gone through Lindsay Lohan's mind as she posed for those naked photographs, like "I hope they dial down my bright red pubic hair with an airbrush" and "what will my mother think?"

But, although she was right to worry about the first one, Lindsay Lohan has no reason at all to fear the latter, because her mother Dina Lohan bloody well loves the naked Lindsay Lohan photos that were published earlier in the week.

That's good to see – Dina Lohan's endorsement of Lindsay Lohan's nude photoshoot is not only heartwarming, but it's also softened her up for all those Lindsay Lohan Hot Bitch XXX Dildo Slut Action DVDs that Lindsay will be reduced to starring in by 2010.

For someone who's pretty much had her bare genital area photographed more often than her face in recent years, the fuss caused by those Marilyn Monroe-aping naked Lindsay Lohan pictures that appeared in New York magazine this week has been far greater than anyone could have imagined. 

We're not sure why Lindsay Lohan's naked spread captured the imagination the way it did. Perhaps there was a perverse thrill in seeing the child star of The Parent Trap naked, perhaps people appreciated the artfully authentic way it reimagined Marilyn Monroe's famous Last Shoot, or perhaps it's just a clear indication that Lindsay Lohan's slow path towards starring in nothing but barely-watched cable television erotic thrillers is still dead on track.

But none of that matters, because the naked Lindsay Lohan photoshoot has at least gained the approval of Lindsay Lohan's mother Dina. MSNBC reports:

"It was very tastefully done," she told People of her daughter’s cover shoot. "I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically,” Dina, who manages Lindsay, said of the pics. “For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say, 'Can you recreate these photos?' is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother." … "She's always loved Marilyn," Dina said. "For Christmas, my girlfriends even gave her a Marilyn cookie jar. I think there's a sadness that Lindsay feels for Marilyn. Lindsay really saw it as a gift back to someone."

Make no mistake, it is a gift back to someone – it just happens that that someone is probably a teenage boy with a permanent erection who'd wank himself into a jizz blizzard at the sight of an old lady's bra, let alone some 'artful' naked Lindsay Lohan photos.

Anyway, let's not forget that Dina Lohan is the quintessential pushy stage mum who notoriously lives her life vicariously through Lindsay in the hope that she can piggyback on her fame for long enough to get her own daytime TV show or something. Bearing this in mind, Dina Lohan isn't saying "I respect my daughter's decision," but "Seriously, if you think she looks good naked, wait until you see my middle-aged boom-baps! Pazow!" 

And that's disgusting, so let's have no more to do with any of this.

Read more:

Lindsay’s mom OK with nude photo shoot - MSNBC 

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Comments

  1. says

    Wow. Her mom is a complete idiot, but we pretty much already knew that. As a marketer, I’m fascinated by Lindsay’s ‘brand’ and how it has gone from something marketable and valuable to pretty much a close-out bin discounted item. Nudie pics are pretty much the last stop before, well, in Marilyn’s case, something worse than another bad movie deal. I’ve written about this devolution a bit at DIM BULB if you’d like to check it out: http://dimbulb.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/02/lindsay-lohan-r.html

  2. Maureen says

    Tastefully done or not, Lindsay is no Marilyn in any shape, form or fashion. She should also keep her mouth shut and drop the “holier than thou” attitude about other folks in her field re: their drug and alcohol use. Isn’t there an old saying about those who live in glass houses should not throw stones?