Madonna was at the top of the pop tree for so long that she got bloated. She indulged in dumb mysticism and since then, made some flabby pop albums and looked so very, very old and infirm.
Of course, an old and infirm Madonna is still much better value than a thousand Rihanna’s, but something interesting happened in the shape of Lady GaGa.
Basically, GaGa reminded Madge what she was supposed to be. And in Her Madgesty’s latest video – Girls Gone Wild – you can see how GaGa has influenced Madonna, who influenced GaGa in the first place. It’s a circle jerk that’s ended up in the customary VIDEO HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BEING TOO RUDE.
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You know how Madonna is releasing a new record? Well, there really is no need to buy it (whenever it finally gets a release) because someone has already decided to leak it, with MDNA appearing on torrent sites.
That’s nice isn’t it?
Saves everyone from having to fork out £15 for a bunch of music made by a woman who, frankly, doesn’t really need the money anymore. What a joyous world we live in. Of course, Her Madge’s team has something to say about it all.
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Now that Jesus, Lady Diana and Mother Teresa are all dead (yes, yes, they still live on in our hearts), a variety of celebrities have tried to step up to the plate and save the world from itself. How incredibly noble and altruistic of them.
We’ve got Bono glaring at famine, Geldof glaring at famine, Wogan hiding behind a teddy with one-eye, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie trying to adopt every child on Earth and Madonna… well… pestering Malawi.
And Malawi is, quite frankly, sick of her sticking her oar in.
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Robert Dewey Hoskins, who probably writes for hecklerspray for all we know, was sentenced to 10 years in the clink in 1996 after being arrested for scaling a wall around Madonna’s home (impressive enough in itself) before threatening to slit her throat.
Seriously. We know her music isn’t as good as it used to be, but even we think that’s a bit much.
Anyway, understandably, Madge thought that this was all rather upsetting, and ended up testifying during Hoskins’ trial, saying that she had nightmares about the homeless man from Oregon after he kept appearing near her house. THE GOOD NEWS? He’s on the loose again!
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Piers Morgan, the ever lovable former Daily Mirror editor and man for whom the word smarmy was invented, certainly has gotten his large, soiled knickers in a twist of late.
We’re not even half way through the week and he’s already attempted to take some cheap shots at 2 people who are infinitely more famous and loved than him.
It’s the equivalent of the school weed slagging off the popular kids because they won’t invite him to their fancy pool parties when their parents go to Tuscany for the weekend. Read More >>>
Okay. Credit where credit is due: Madonna’s halftime show at the Super Bowl was pretty brilliant. That’s even taking into account that LMFAO showed up and the always disappointing MIA flipped the bird in an attempt to show her terrible hipster fans that she hadn’t ‘sold out’.
And so, if the Super Bowl show was anything to go by, Madge’s announcement that she will be going on a tour of the world should be met with some excitement.
Provided of course, her new LP (dubbed ‘MDNA’) isn’t a gigantic brown trout of a release.
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Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident.
Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being shown at the Super Bowl halftime show this year, mainly because no-one in their right mind wants to see Madonna’s rock-hard gym-sculpted banger on view, all sinew and veins.
And mercifully, she’s promised that this won’t be happening.
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Ah the Super Bowl, the pinnacle of sporting exuberance and over celebration. And as it’s Super Bowl (or Superb Owl if you prefer), we’ll be running a series of specials to whet your whistles. In the words of Stanley Ralph Ross, so immortalised by Jim McKay “The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat”.
The unfortunate truth about the Super Bowl is that a large proportion of them have been crap, crap, one-sided affairs that were not so much the ultimate gladiatorial fight that is often portrayed, but more like that bit in Raiders of the Lost Arc where Indiana just shoots the sword wielding guy.
Anyways, regardless of the final outcome there have been some very good individual moments from the Super Bowl, here’s the best top 10 Super Bowl moments your stupid eyes will ever see.
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