Though the world of internet memes would have you believe that Drake is desperate for love, even the softest man in rap has his limits. Cue Madonna, who performed with him this past weekend at Coachella (aka the festival of assholes) and decided to go all dementor on Drake’s ass by sucking out his soul on stage in front of a bunch of high rich kids who wanted to pretend to be hippies for a couple of days.
The look on Drake’s face in the exact look I had when my mom had one too many drinks at the family Christmas party and started grinding on me to Bruno Mars. Actually, scratch that, the look on Drake’s face reminds me of the first time I tried grapefruit juice. I fucking HATE grapefruit juice. It tastes like someone drank a ton of poison, threw it up, bottled it, and called it juice. Maybe that’s what Madonna taste like now?
I’d say that Drake looks like a young guy who was at the club when a drunk old cougar suddenly shoved her tongue down his throat, pulled away and was like “You like that?” But that’s not really what it looks like, so much as what it is.
I used to love Madonna and have all the respect in the world for her, but now with her grills and her stupid Instagram pics and captions and her dumbass interviews and sexually assaulting Drake in front of thousands of people (where is Detective Olivia Benson when you need her?!) I just feel like she’s trying way too hard to be edgy and relevant cool. You know, like this:
The sad part of all this is that, regardless of how traumatized Drake looked after the incident, you know he texted Madonna the next day all like “So, are we a couple now?”
She still hasn’t texted him back. Drake can’t win when it comes to love. Not even with Madonna.
daniel cherry says
Madonna is a lezbo.she woman man hater.
Blogzilla says
Ewww. just ewww. I’d have to wash my mouth out with Betadine
dave says
i swear she looks like bellatrix lestrange from harry potter in this pic