If it wasn’t for this year’s limp X-Factor judging panel lineup, then nobody would have a chuffing clue who Tulisa was. The nation are still mourning the loss of everyone’s number one toilet attendant batterer, Cheryl Cole. She had been doing a fine job at crying at any opportunity, but times are always-a-changing.
This year saw a shed load of changes that were designed to keep us frothing at the mouth until the excitement of X-factor blew our heads clean off our shoulders. Alongside Cheryl, Simon and Dannii had been told to sod off, leaving Louis Walsh left to remind viewers of where acts hailed from. Konnie Huq had been given the chop from the spin off show, despite being married to Charlie Brooker, who everyone is legally obliged to like.
We’re quite a way into the show now and we still don’t really know much about Tulisa. Granted, she’s in comedy act N-Dubz but that’s about it. In a vague attempt to make us all believe that Frankie Cocozza isn’t the only one having all the sex out of everyone on the programme, Tulisa was asked some probing questions herself. The response? Not exactly ghetto.