Articles tagged with: Lesbian
Michael Phelps May Cure Lindsay Lohan of Being Boring
Lindsay Lohan may be back on track towards becoming entertaining again, thanks in no small part to Olympic gold medal-machine Michael Phelps. The girl that could well be a lesbian, who may well be having a wedding to Samantha Ronson, who used to get off her face on all manner of things all the time and made up about 75 percent of hecklerspray's content and who used to not just be a big pile of boredom with added boretitude may well be on the track back to loving men again. If a brief text message that gives away very little is to be believed. And if she ever liked girls 'like that' in the first place. As we all know through thorough scientific testing - when Lindsay Lohan isn't a lesbian, or when she isn't at least possibly a lesbian, she is entertaining. Michael Phelps may well be getting another medal, this one far more valuable than any Olympic award - the hastily made up 'hecklerspray medal that shows we like you for giving us something to write about again'.
Lindsay Lohan may be back on track towards becoming entertaining again, thanks in no small part to Olympic gold medal-machine Michael Phelps. The girl that could well be a lesbian, who may well be having a wedding to Samantha Ronson, who used to get off her face on all manner of things all the time and made up about 75 percent of hecklerspray's content and who used to not just be a big pile of boredom with added boretitude may well be on the track back to loving men again. If a brief text message that gives away very little is to be believed. And if she ever liked girls 'like that' in the first place. As we all know through thorough scientific testing - when Lindsay Lohan isn't a lesbian, or when she isn't at least possibly a lesbian, she is entertaining. Michael Phelps may well be getting another medal, this one far more valuable than any Olympic award - the hastily made up 'hecklerspray medal that shows we like you for giving us something to write about again'.
Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Update: it’s ‘Not Sexy’ (it is, They’re Lying)
When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn't sexy, we wouldn't hold it against you if you believed her. She's a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the 'not sexy' thing she's talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business - Penelope Cruz - then, well, we wouldn't hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud. The kiss they shared wasn't a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it's just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls. Aside from the scene in question, of course.
When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn't sexy, we wouldn't hold it against you if you believed her. She's a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the 'not sexy' thing she's talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business - Penelope Cruz - then, well, we wouldn't hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud. The kiss they shared wasn't a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it's just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls. Aside from the scene in question, of course.
Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry to Avoid Frankly Weird TV Kiss, Fortunately
There's some damn weird logic working in this world. If a 23-year-old male singer were to say that they wanted to kiss a 15-year-old pop sensation on Sunday, they would rightly be chastised. Probably shot or lynched too. Or just looked down on a lot. They'd probably write a book about their experiences a few years down the line, when the dust had settled. But when it's a 23-year-old female singer saying they want to play tonsil hockey with a child this Sunday then it's just laughed off... Hang on - what? That's not funny. That's just dodgy.
There's some damn weird logic working in this world. If a 23-year-old male singer were to say that they wanted to kiss a 15-year-old pop sensation on Sunday, they would rightly be chastised. Probably shot or lynched too. Or just looked down on a lot. They'd probably write a book about their experiences a few years down the line, when the dust had settled. But when it's a 23-year-old female singer saying they want to play tonsil hockey with a child this Sunday then it's just laughed off... Hang on - what? That's not funny. That's just dodgy.
Rosie O’Donnell Gets All Hubba Hubba Over Elisabeth Hasselbeck
Fans of very specific, slightly nauseating, lesbian pornography get ready - Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are going to get it on! Well, look, OK, Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck obviously aren't going to get it on at all, but that hasn't stopped Rosie O'Donnell calling Elisabeth Hasselbeck 'very attractive' during an interview with Howard Stern yesterday. We'll get to the details in a moment, but for now let's just mourn the fact that Rosie and Elisabeth aren't able to genetically create their own child - because it'd have to be part O'Donnell and part Hasselbeck, and we could earn all sorts of money running a book on whether it'd come out fat and intolerant or skinny and paranoid.
Fans of very specific, slightly nauseating, lesbian pornography get ready - Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are going to get it on! Well, look, OK, Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck obviously aren't going to get it on at all, but that hasn't stopped Rosie O'Donnell calling Elisabeth Hasselbeck 'very attractive' during an interview with Howard Stern yesterday. We'll get to the details in a moment, but for now let's just mourn the fact that Rosie and Elisabeth aren't able to genetically create their own child - because it'd have to be part O'Donnell and part Hasselbeck, and we could earn all sorts of money running a book on whether it'd come out fat and intolerant or skinny and paranoid.
Lindsay Lohan Reveals All, Which Is Very Little
Lindsay Lohan, as we all know, likes to keep herself to herself. Like Thom Yorke and Paul Scholes before her, she is an A-grade enigma. As to what makes her tick, we just don’t know. The only decent look inside her that we have had so far taught us little more than the fact that a vagina should really only be viewed in the cordial context of the bedroom, otherwise they can look quite menacing and no matter how hard you look at it, this particular insight was not quite wide enough to see through to her inner-soul. But those days of mystery are now behind us, because Christa D'Souza of The Sunday Times has given Lindsay the interview of her life. We double dare you to not read on.
Lindsay Lohan, as we all know, likes to keep herself to herself. Like Thom Yorke and Paul Scholes before her, she is an A-grade enigma. As to what makes her tick, we just don’t know. The only decent look inside her that we have had so far taught us little more than the fact that a vagina should really only be viewed in the cordial context of the bedroom, otherwise they can look quite menacing and no matter how hard you look at it, this particular insight was not quite wide enough to see through to her inner-soul. But those days of mystery are now behind us, because Christa D'Souza of The Sunday Times has given Lindsay the interview of her life. We double dare you to not read on.
Lindsay Lohan’s Dad: “Lindsay’s A Lesbian Now? Cool”
Now that Lindsay Lohan's had her tongue surgically grafted to the inside of Samantha Ronson's ear, nobody seems too sure about how much of a lesbian she is. But if anyone's going to know all the intimate details of Lindsay Lohan's new sapphic endeavours, it's bound to be Michael Lohan - Lindsay's born-again christian ex-convict of an absentee father. So tell us, Michael Lohan - is Lindsay Lohan a gigantic lesbian these days, or is she still big on penis? What's that? You originally said that Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian, but now you're backtracking furiously because you secretly suspect that your big mouth is widening the gulf between you and your daughter and you're trying to be as nondescript as possible to cover for the fact that Lindsay Lohan never tells you anything because you're yet to regain her trust despite several attempts on your part? Why, that doesn't help at all. Sheesh.
Now that Lindsay Lohan's had her tongue surgically grafted to the inside of Samantha Ronson's ear, nobody seems too sure about how much of a lesbian she is. But if anyone's going to know all the intimate details of Lindsay Lohan's new sapphic endeavours, it's bound to be Michael Lohan - Lindsay's born-again christian ex-convict of an absentee father. So tell us, Michael Lohan - is Lindsay Lohan a gigantic lesbian these days, or is she still big on penis? What's that? You originally said that Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian, but now you're backtracking furiously because you secretly suspect that your big mouth is widening the gulf between you and your daughter and you're trying to be as nondescript as possible to cover for the fact that Lindsay Lohan never tells you anything because you're yet to regain her trust despite several attempts on your part? Why, that doesn't help at all. Sheesh.
Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Latest: Cannes Loves It
A homosexual moment between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s latest movie is the talk of the 61st Cannes Film Festival. Three cheers for Woody Allen and his much maligned interest in younger women! The news should finally shut up all the player-haters out there - you know who you are! The ones of you who thought it ‘weird’ for a man to show a sexual interest in his own adopted daughter. Well you can now jump off your high horses because, like World War 2 before, the ends always justify the means and the sight of Scarlett and Penelope lezzin' off is no doubt a joyful scene.
A homosexual moment between Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s latest movie is the talk of the 61st Cannes Film Festival. Three cheers for Woody Allen and his much maligned interest in younger women! The news should finally shut up all the player-haters out there - you know who you are! The ones of you who thought it ‘weird’ for a man to show a sexual interest in his own adopted daughter. Well you can now jump off your high horses because, like World War 2 before, the ends always justify the means and the sight of Scarlett and Penelope lezzin' off is no doubt a joyful scene.
Ellen & Portia To Sob About Puppies As Properly Married Couple
You know what's hotter than lesbian sex? Lesbian sex rendered listless and infrequent by marriage! And it turns out that's exactly what Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will soon get to experience for themselves because - thanks to California overturning its ban on gay marriage - Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossie are totally getting married. With the door opened for gay marriages in Hollywood, no doubt Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will want to be among the first lesbians to formalise their civil partnership. Because that way they'll exponentially increase the chances of being the first lesbians to undertake a messy, bitterness-filled girl-on-girl celebrity divorce. We can't wait!
You know what's hotter than lesbian sex? Lesbian sex rendered listless and infrequent by marriage! And it turns out that's exactly what Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will soon get to experience for themselves because - thanks to California overturning its ban on gay marriage - Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossie are totally getting married. With the door opened for gay marriages in Hollywood, no doubt Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will want to be among the first lesbians to formalise their civil partnership. Because that way they'll exponentially increase the chances of being the first lesbians to undertake a messy, bitterness-filled girl-on-girl celebrity divorce. We can't wait!
