Posts tagged as:

Lesbian

Wait A Minute, Lindsay Lohan Is GAY?!

by Stuart Heritage

You know that girl who Lindsay Lohan keeps traipsing around hand in hand with, the one widely regarded by everyone to be her girlfriend?

Well, guess what? She is Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend. Sort of. We think. In a telephone interview with a radio station on Monday, Lindsay Lohan explained that she had been going out with Samantha Ronson “for a very long time” – the closest she’s ever come to publicly admitting a lesbian relationship.

Goodness. First Clay Aiken and now Lindsay Lohan. Today really seems to be the day for admitting long-kept secrets about your sexuality. And, thanks to this spirit of openness, we’ve decided that it’s our turn too – Mum, Dad, we only get aroused by watching pregnant midget lesbian poo porn. But only if one of the midgets is an amputee and the other one is dressed like Ringo Starr as the Pope from Lisztomania.

Too much?

You know that girl who Lindsay Lohan keeps traipsing around hand in hand with, the one widely regarded by everyone to be her girlfriend? Well, guess what? She is Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend. Sort of. We think. In a telephone interview with a radio station on Monday, Lindsay Lohan explained that she had been going out with Samantha Ronson "for a very long time" - the closest she's ever come to publicly admitting a lesbian relationship. Goodness. First Clay Aiken and now Lindsay Lohan. Today really seems to be the day for admitting long-kept secrets about your sexuality. And, thanks to this spirit of openness, we've decided that it's our turn too - Mum, Dad, we only get aroused by watching pregnant midget lesbian poo porn. But only if one of the midgets is an amputee and the other one is dressed like Ringo Starr as the Pope from Lisztomania. Too much?
0 comments Read more >>>

Megan Fox Announces Lesbian Stripper Love, All Teenage Boys Explode

by Stuart Heritage

As a terrifying sex cyborg sent back from the future to destroy mankind, Megan Fox knows exactly how much self-abuse she’s responsible for.

But even though she’s easily caused enough teenage ejaculations to power a rocket trip to the moon, Megan Fox knows that her work is still not done. And that’s why Megan Fox has told GQ magazine that she once had a sizzling lesbian relationship with a female stripper from Russia called Nikita.

We can’t congratulate Megan Fox enough for telling us this. Honestly, with the world’s financial markets in meltdown and the worst recession for a century looming over us all, Megan Fox implying that she might have once rubbed her clodge against a stripper’s clodge has single-handedly resuscitated the ailing tissue industry. Megan, we salute you.

8 comments Read more >>>

Lindsay Lohan This Close To Marrying Samantha Ronson, Maybe

by Stuart Heritage

There used to be a time when Lindsay Lohan only loved booze, drugs, sex, partial nudity and films about winking Volkswagens, but not any more.

Now it seems like Lindsay Lohan has found the love of her life – a boy-haired DJ called Samantha Ronson. For the past however many months, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been completely inseparable, going to events together, falling out of clubs together, slagging off Lindsay Lohan’s dad together – and now it looks like they want to make their union official.

That’s right, according to reports Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson could be getting married in the next few months. Let’s just pray that they don’t accidentally release a Pammy & Tommy-style honeymoon sex video. Not because lesbian sex repulses us, you understand, but because we’ve seen Lindsay Lohan naked so many times in the last few years that one more glimpse of her ginger knockers will probably send us into a deep narcoleptic coma that we’ll never recover from.

There used to be a time when Lindsay Lohan only loved booze, drugs, sex, partial nudity and films about winking Volkswagens, but not any more. Now it seems like Lindsay Lohan has found the love of her life - a boy-haired DJ called Samantha Ronson. For the past however many months, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been completely inseparable, going to events together, falling out of clubs together, slagging off Lindsay Lohan's dad together - and now it looks like they want to make their union official. That's right, according to reports Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson could be getting married in the next few months. Let's just pray that they don't accidentally release a Pammy & Tommy-style honeymoon sex video. Not because lesbian sex repulses us, you understand, but because we've seen Lindsay Lohan naked so many times in the last few years that one more glimpse of her ginger knockers will probably send us into a deep narcoleptic coma that we'll never recover from.
2 comments Read more >>>

Megan Fox Drinks Vinegar, Takes Her Top Off and Pretends to be a Lesbian

by Ian Dransfield

Going directly against the orders of Michael Bay, Megan Fox seems to be doing exactly the opposite to piling on some poundage. Whereas the explosion-loving director ordered every young boy in the world’s wet dream to put some weight on for Transformers 2, the actress has revealed that she instead decides to clean herself out [...]

18 comments Read more >>>

Michael Phelps May Cure Lindsay Lohan of Being Boring

by Ian Dransfield

Lindsay Lohan may be back on track towards becoming entertaining again, thanks in no small part to Olympic gold medal-machine Michael Phelps. The girl that could well be a lesbian, who may well be having a wedding to Samantha Ronson, who used to get off her face on all manner of things all the time [...]

6 comments Read more >>>

Scarlett Johansson’s Lesbian Kiss With Penelope Cruz Update: it’s ‘Not Sexy’ (it is, They’re Lying)

by Ian Dransfield

When Scarlett Johansson tells you something isn’t sexy, we wouldn’t hold it against you if you believed her. She’s a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the ‘not sexy’ thing she’s talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry to Avoid Frankly Weird TV Kiss, Fortunately

by Ian Dransfield

There’s some damn weird logic working in this world. If a 23-year-old male singer were to say that they wanted to kiss a 15-year-old pop sensation on Sunday, they would rightly be chastised. Probably shot or lynched too. Or just looked down on a lot. They’d probably write a book about their experiences a few [...]

8 comments Read more >>>

Rosie O’Donnell Gets All Hubba Hubba Over Elisabeth Hasselbeck

by Stuart Heritage

Fans of very specific, slightly nauseating, lesbian pornography get ready – Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are going to get it on!

Well, look, OK, Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck obviously aren’t going to get it on at all, but that hasn’t stopped Rosie O’Donnell calling Elisabeth Hasselbeck ‘very attractive’ during an interview with Howard Stern yesterday.

We’ll get to the details in a moment, but for now let’s just mourn the fact that Rosie and Elisabeth aren’t able to genetically create their own child – because it’d have to be part O’Donnell and part Hasselbeck, and we could earn all sorts of money running a book on whether it’d come out fat and intolerant or skinny and paranoid.

1 comment Read more >>>

Lindsay Lohan Reveals All, Which Is Very Little

by Paul Sorrenti

Lindsay Lohan, as we all know, likes to keep herself to herself. Like Thom Yorke and Paul Scholes before her, she is an A-grade enigma. As to what makes her tick, we just don’t know.

The only decent look inside her that we have had so far taught us little more than the fact that a vagina should really only be viewed in the cordial context of the bedroom, otherwise they can look quite menacing and no matter how hard you look at it, this particular insight was not quite wide enough to see through to her inner-soul.

But those days of mystery are now behind us, because Christa D’Souza of The Sunday Times has given Lindsay the interview of her life. We double dare you to not read on.

5 comments Read more >>>

Lindsay Lohan’s Dad: “Lindsay’s A Lesbian Now? Cool”

by Stuart Heritage

Now that Lindsay Lohan’s had her tongue surgically grafted to the inside of Smantha Ronson’s ear, nobody seems too sure about how much of a lesbian she is.

But if anyone’s going to know all the intimate details of Lindsay Lohan’s new sapphic endeavours, it’s bound to be Michael Lohan – Lindsay’s born-again christian ex-convict of an absentee father. So tell us, Michael Lohan – is Lindsay Lohan a gigantic lesbian these days, or is she still big on penis?

What’s that? You originally said that Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian, but now you’re backtracking furiously because you secretly suspect that your big mouth is widening the gulf between you and your daughter and you’re trying to be as nondescript as possible to cover for the fact that Lindsay Lohan never tells you anything because you’re yet to regain her trust despite several attempts on your part? Why, that doesn’t help at all. Sheesh.

Now that Lindsay Lohan's had her tongue surgically grafted to the inside of Smantha Ronson's ear, nobody seems too sure about how much of a lesbian she is. But if anyone's going to know all the intimate details of Lindsay Lohan's new sapphic endeavours, it's bound to be Michael Lohan - Lindsay's born-again christian ex-convict of an absentee father. So tell us, Michael Lohan - is Lindsay Lohan a gigantic lesbian these days, or is she still big on penis? What's that? You originally said that Lindsay Lohan was a lesbian, but now you're backtracking furiously because you secretly suspect that your big mouth is widening the gulf between you and your daughter and you're trying to be as nondescript as possible to cover for the fact that Lindsay Lohan never tells you anything because you're yet to regain her trust despite several attempts on your part? Why, that doesn't help at all. Sheesh.
2 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →