Articles tagged with: Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes Is Back! On TV! DANCING! Briefly!
Katie Holmes is famous for trailing Tom Cruise and blinking out the words 'help me' in morse code, folornly hoping that someone will notice. But all that's going to change immediately, because Katie Holmes has just signed up for a job. An actual working job as an actor in something that doesn't inexplicably co-star Queen Latifah. These are glorious days indeed. So what hugely important piece of drama has Katie Holmes deemed worthy of her presence? What could be so earth-shakingly significant that it's convinced Katie Holmes to return to the limelight? A movie? No, not quite. It's a TV show. A TV show that hardly anyone watches. A blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo on a TV show that hardly anyone watches. Katie Holmes, you're back in the big league!
Katie Holmes is famous for trailing Tom Cruise and blinking out the words 'help me' in morse code, folornly hoping that someone will notice. But all that's going to change immediately, because Katie Holmes has just signed up for a job. An actual working job as an actor in something that doesn't inexplicably co-star Queen Latifah. These are glorious days indeed. So what hugely important piece of drama has Katie Holmes deemed worthy of her presence? What could be so earth-shakingly significant that it's convinced Katie Holmes to return to the limelight? A movie? No, not quite. It's a TV show. A TV show that hardly anyone watches. A blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo on a TV show that hardly anyone watches. Katie Holmes, you're back in the big league!
Victoria Beckham’s Diet Plans For Katie Holmes
FROM DIETPIXIE - Tom Cruise has welcomed the recommencement of Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes’ friendship, but only if the ‘d’ word is banned. Yep, that’s right. Posh Spice and the better half of TomKat are forbidden to discuss diets, in case Katie ends up becoming as thin as Victoria. TomKat are hoping to start ...
FROM DIETPIXIE - Tom Cruise has welcomed the recommencement of Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes’ friendship, but only if the ‘d’ word is banned. Yep, that’s right. Posh Spice and the better half of TomKat are forbidden to discuss diets, in case Katie ends up becoming as thin as Victoria. TomKat are hoping to start ...
Katie Holmes Signs On for Broadway Instead of Doing Nothing Else
The whole Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise match-up is still a mystery to a few people. And by a few people we mean everyone on planet Earth, and most of the aliens on planet Xenu. But everyone should just shut up and leave them alone. Katie is a strong, free woman making brilliant career moves. She turned down the Batman sequel to do Mad Money with Queen Latifah, and now it looks as if she’s signed on for Broadway. This is exciting news for Katie. Not only will she be able pursue new career venues, but the boundaries on her electric shock collar is said to include the Starbucks next to the theatre. Hello, Paul McCartney compilation CD!
The whole Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise match-up is still a mystery to a few people. And by a few people we mean everyone on planet Earth, and most of the aliens on planet Xenu. But everyone should just shut up and leave them alone. Katie is a strong, free woman making brilliant career moves. She turned down the Batman sequel to do Mad Money with Queen Latifah, and now it looks as if she’s signed on for Broadway. This is exciting news for Katie. Not only will she be able pursue new career venues, but the boundaries on her electric shock collar is said to include the Starbucks next to the theatre. Hello, Paul McCartney compilation CD!
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Brewing Up Another Baby?
Tom Cruise is back in the A-list, baby - if 'A-list' means going on a daytime TV show twice and having lunch with the oldest man alive, of course. And what better way could there possibly be for Tom Cruise to celebrate his resurgent career than by having sex with his wife until a little person who looks like him crawls out of her genitals? That's right - if reports are to be believed, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are trying for another baby, with those close to the couple making it clear that Katie Holmes has 'got the itch.' But as soon as this resilient bout of vaginal thrush clears up, Tom and Katie will definitely try and have another baby. Hecklerspray: king of the clumsy vaginal thrush joke since 2005.
Tom Cruise is back in the A-list, baby - if 'A-list' means going on a daytime TV show twice and having lunch with the oldest man alive, of course. And what better way could there possibly be for Tom Cruise to celebrate his resurgent career than by having sex with his wife until a little person who looks like him crawls out of her genitals? That's right - if reports are to be believed, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are trying for another baby, with those close to the couple making it clear that Katie Holmes has 'got the itch.' But as soon as this resilient bout of vaginal thrush clears up, Tom and Katie will definitely try and have another baby. Hecklerspray: king of the clumsy vaginal thrush joke since 2005.
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes: It’s Over, Except It Probably Isn’t
If any of you have a secret crush on either Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes, then we have bad news - a) they're not divorcing, and b) you're quite creepy. And, although we could write a book on all the different ways that you creep us out, right now we'll just focus on the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes not divorcing thing. Yesterday two US gossip magazines delivered the shock news that Katie Holmes was so sick of Tom Cruise that a divorce was quietly being planned. However, both Tom and Katie have dismissed the reports as false. So if you catch Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes making out in public and being all gross to overcompensate for these split rumours any time soon, feel free to blame the magazines. There's probably even a lawsuit in it if they actually make you throw up.
Is Katie Holmes Pregnant With Another Little Thetan?
As we all know, the best way to get yourself out of a pickle when videos of you babbling religiously appear on the internet is to knock your wife up.
That appears to be the case anyway - Katie Holmes has fuelled speculation that she's pregnant by buying a T-shirt with 'Big Sister' written on it for her daughter Suri. So does this mean that Katie Holmes is pregnant?
Hardly - unless Tom Cruise has miraculously found a nice big glob of Hubbard-spunk in the bottom of his jizz-jar that didn't get used up when he was getting Katie Holmes pregnant with Suri.
Or something.
Tom Cruise Can’t Keep Pizzas Warm With Magic
To watch the skin-crawling Tom Cruise: Scientologist video you'd think that there was literally nothing that Tom Cruise couldn't do, apart from make sense and laugh normally.
However, Katie Holmes has bravely pushed her head above the parapet and spoken out about something that Tom Cruise isn't able to do.
Tom Cruise, you see, can't keep pizzas warm with magic.
Celebrity Divorce Betting Odds: Cruise, Beckham & Aguilera
The start of a new year is a time to wipe the slate clean, to reflect on one's past negativity and move on determined to right one's wrongs imbued with a fresh sense of goodwill and radiant positivity. And that's why the very first hecklerspray post of 2008 is all about celebrity divorces. Not only that, but it's a betting odds post, meaning that we're effectively giving you the chance to make a crazy amount of money by exploiting the misery of others. Over the next couple of days we're giving you the chance to bet on which celebrity couple will be the first to file for divorce in 2008. Bah, radiant positivity is overrated, anyway. So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Posh and Becks and Ashley and Cheryl Cole, with help from Paddy Power...
The start of a new year is a time to wipe the slate clean, to reflect on one's past negativity and move on determined to right one's wrongs imbued with a fresh sense of goodwill and radiant positivity. And that's why the very first hecklerspray post of 2008 is all about celebrity divorces. Not only that, but it's a betting odds post, meaning that we're effectively giving you the chance to make a crazy amount of money by exploiting the misery of others. Over the next couple of days we're giving you the chance to bet on which celebrity couple will be the first to file for divorce in 2008. Bah, radiant positivity is overrated, anyway. So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Posh and Becks and Ashley and Cheryl Cole, with help from Paddy Power...
