Posts tagged as:

Divorce

Kim Kardashian To Finally Get Her Comeuppance Via The Magic Of TV

by Robin Darke

Well all know that Kim Kardashian is the very pinnacle of media whoredom, leapfrogging other visionaries as Paris Hilton, Tulisa Contostavlos and the rest of the Kardashian sisters, to the crown of Most Annoying Slag 2012. And we all know why, because she wants to show everything that happens through the medium of television, even though her television shows are so tucked and trimmed that if they were pies, they would be the most disgusting tasting pies ever. Though they would look great.

0 comments Read more >>>

Tips On How To Survive The Denise Welch Menace

by Robin Darke

Denise Welch officially splits from Tim Healy, not that anyone cares anymore. Remember at the end of Jurassic Park where all of the dinosaurs were left to their own devices and untouched by human hands again? And when King Kong was shot fell to his death from the Empire State building? And when Ethel Skinner was put down by Dot Cotton, ending her reign of sexual terror? Well, these are examples of when it’s acceptable to lock up/euthanise sexual threats because they pose a threat to greater society.

0 comments Read more >>>

Demi Moore’s 911 Emergency Call Is Early Contender For Christmas No1

by Mof Gimmers

As well you know, Demi Moore’s suffering and being rushed to hospital after seizures from alleged narcotics, is simply not enough for us. The fact she’s so unhappy is fine and all, but we need more. Like what? We all need to hear her cry for help. It’s not good enough knowing that she was [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Demi Moore Needs a Nap In Hospital Because She’s Probably About To Die

by Euan L Davidson

You can’t fault Demi Moore’s record. Some terrible, terrible films aside, some people forget that she put up with really, really Republican gunslinger Bruce Willis’ penis for a considerable amount of time, before taking on Ashton Kutcher in his most elaborate “Punk’d” episode so far. Fresh from divorcing the “Butterfly Effect”, um, star (well, he [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

And Now, Kim Kardashian Will Try To Convince You She Has A Soul

by Mof Gimmers

Hahaha! Aw, bless! Kim Kardashian is making a tall claim. A really, really tall one. So tall, it’s a certifiable freak-show. Basically, she’s trying to convince us all that she’s got a soul. And with it, she’s searched it. A lot. That’s right, the term, ‘soul-searching’ has been mentioned in the inevitable and orchestrated break-up [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Heidi Klum And Seal Split Into Great Yawning Chasm Of Nothingness

by Lady Robotnik

Just when we thought that 2012 was getting off to a rocking start, what with us discovering there was one less Kardashian in the world and all, Heidi Klum and Seal have to shit on our parade by announcing they are getting a divorce. The golden couple, who must have Hitler spinning in his grave, [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

People Used To Spit At Zooey Deschanel (She’s Used To It If You Do It Now)

by Mof Gimmers

Zooey Deschanel is one of those women people fancy when they haven’t seen her act in anything. Once you see her in a moving picture, you can’t help but wish her ill. That whole kooky, sub-standard Goldie Hawn thing she’s got going on? Loathesome. She sings cutesy wutesy songs and cocks her head to one [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Five Things We’ve Learnt From New Girl

by Robin Darke

So. Zooey Deschanel has a new show that is being shown on Channel 4 this very night at 8:30 post meridian. Of course, we’ve seen it and it won’t surprise you that we are characteristically unimpressed. That said, looking on the bright side of any situation, like we uncharacteristically do, we’ve managed to find five [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Zooey Deschanel Divorces From Husband Because She’s A Monster Under All That Kook

by Mof Gimmers

Zooey Deschanel is the Prom Queen of the Hipster Ball. She can kinda sing, kinda act and is generally kinda good-looking and kinda nice. Perfect for the hipsters as she never quite looks like she’s really trying. However, Zooey is quite obviously a giganto-ghoul. Why? Mainly because she doesn’t believe in the sanctity of marriage [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Kim Kardashian Totally Had An Inordinate Amount Of Sex With Kanye West

by Robin Darke

It’s been such a difficult few weeks for poor Kim Kardashian. First her loving marriage breaks down in a record 72 days and had to deal with everyone and their petit chien saying that the marriage was a sham. Then her clothing line gets slated by lamb loving, angry at seal clubbing, children’s rights groups [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →