It’s been a while since I’d heard anything about the only couple in Hollywood that make Brangelina and Jay Z and Beyonce look like absolute trash. Of course, I’m referring to the not-at-all-creepy Doug Hutchinson and his so-called child bride Courtney Stodden. Well, I guess the heavens have smiled upon me, because they’re back in the tabloids, which I’m sure isn’t at all related to them needing money because I’m sure people just throw money at Courtney Stodden all the time just so they can be in the presence of all that glamour.
Courtney’s mom, Krista Keller, who was totally cool with her allegedly 16-year-old daughter (bitch looked at least 25) marrying a busted-ass, 51-year-old, one-time “X-Files” guest star, is pimping out some story about how Doug’s dream is to have a threesome with her and her dime store Pamela Anderson daughter. Dude knows how to dream big.
Krista claims that while the true love of Doug and Courtney was briefly dying because they stopped pumping Courtney full of sedatives for 2 seconds and she realized Doug was a gross, crabby old man who wears dad sandals all the time, that she supported and comforted him and they got real close. They never banged, but Doug really wanted to. Creepy old sandal-loving Doug even wanted to make his own version of the movie “Heartbreakers” with the two of them.
Remember the movie “Heartbreakers”???? It had Jennifer Love Hewitt!
Anyway, Krista alleges that she was being a shoulder for her middle-aged, failed television guest star actor son-in-law to cry on while her 21-year-old daughter worked on her “Mariah Carey during her meltdown meets Sable from 1990’s WWF meets lot lizard” impersonation, and during this, Doug got hit was a case of the feelings for her and fantasized about having mother and daughter at the same time:
He was asking me to stay there with him and saying that he’s had fantasies of having both Courtney and me. And so when he started talking like that, I thought, ‘Oh, my God — this is headed in not a good direction.’ So I’m the one that actually decided to step away and encourage Doug to find help somewhere else.
Krista says that since Courtney and Doug got back together, her and her daughter are super estranged and don’t have much of a relationship anymore. She says:
It’s just like, ever since she got into Doug’s entanglement, she’s just changed. My daughter that I’ve raised and knew and loved is just no more. It’s like she’s gone.
I read that quote and all I can think is “Bitch, what did you expect when you essentially sold your teenage daughter to a middle-aged man just so you could get a story in UsWeekly that’s not even cover-worthy. This shit is like 15 pages deep and takes up maybe a quarter of a page. If you’re trying to get famous from marrying your teenage daughter off to a middle-aged tv actor at least try to hook her ass up with John Stamos, am I right?!
Anyway, here’s a pic of Doug wearing a pair of those sandals he loves so much:
KeiraKnows says
Just so you know for future reference, Doug’s last name is Hutchison, not Hutchinson.