Posts tagged as:

Angelina Jolie

The Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie Wedding Is Off Thanks To Mystery Woman, Obviously

by Mof Gimmers

Initially, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie weren’t bothering to get married because… well… it is a completely redundant institution for those who are petrified of being lonely, compelled to contractually oblige someone to stay with them, rather than, y’know, continue to make an effort. That and they didn’t want to get married while there were [...]

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Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Are Getting Married Because You Can’t Get Divorced Without It

by Mof Gimmers

Because America is only about 4 years old compared to the rest of the world, it has to pin its dreams on daft things. They don’t have a royal family, so they obsess over various Kennedy family member and celebrities. Concerning the latter, celebrity weddings are the closest thing they have to experiencing the collective [...]

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Victoria Beckham Won’t Be Having Her Stupid Baby This Week, Okay?

by Mof Gimmers

The birth of any child is a wonderful thing… if of course, by ‘wonderful’, you actually mean ‘remarkably irritating’. See, when someone shunts a child from their middle, we’re supposed to treat it like some kind of miracle. Of course, no-one coos and fawns when someone brings a newborn foal into the office, still covered [...]

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Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig Get Married Despite Not Knowing Or Speaking To Each Other, Ever

by hecklerspray staff

Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz have got married! Isn’t that adorable? As you know, we’ve been rooting for these guys for pretty much forever. And finally, after what has felt like ‘a very long time’ – the pair secretly got married in New York State last night, with only four very close family members as [...]

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Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie To Enter Depressing World Of Marriage

by Mof Gimmers

You there. You probably fancy Brad Pitt. You probably fancy Angelina Jolie as well. There’s laws written which mean that everyone must lust after one of them at some point in your pathetic excuse for a life, or else risk the punishment of certain death. And now, we’re about to have our collective nose rubbed [...]

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Victoria Beckham Doesn’t Understand Why She’s Got A Big Belly During Pregnancy

by Mof Gimmers

Here’s the kicker: When a sperm unifies with an egg and the cells split, resulting in a baby growing inside your womb, it will eventually start showing around your guts. You may look fat, but in actual fact, it’s just a human hiding under your skin. Right? This is pretty basic science, but something Victoria [...]

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Don’t Get Brad Pitt Started On Religion Okay?

by Mof Gimmers

Oooh! Brad Pitt! He’s got a well-made face hasn’t he? Remember when he had his top off in Fight Club?! That was good acting wasn’t it? Yeah, everyone loves Brad Pitt. Women want to be him, men want to kiss him on the ear! But what do we know about Pitt? Well, we know that [...]

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Angelina Jolie Has A Tattoo Which Has Got Her Pregnant Probably

by Mof Gimmers

Sweet Jesus! Massive news hits hecklerspray! Angelina Jolie has gone and got herself a seventh tattoo! Imagine that! What has she got? ACAB across her knuckles? A tattoo of a Hitler moustache? A picture of a baby on her forehead? Well, funny you should mention babies (yes, you mentioned them – not us) because Jolie [...]

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Beckhams Plan To Return To UK And UK Weeps Uncontrollably

by Joanna Bolouri

When hecklerspray heard the news that Victoria and David Beckham were reportedly coming back to the UK,  we all got into the bath in our sticky bedsit and tried to drown each other. When that didn’t work we even tried to self harm with the jaggy edge off our pot noodle sauce sachet but sadly that failed [...]

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Posh Spice Says She’s Not Angelina Jolie And The Whole World Says ‘Duh’

by hecklerspray staff

Once upon a time there was a girl who couldn’t sing. Llike all good fame hungry, fake tanned dunderheads, she joined a silly band with other girls who also sang in the key of ‘pish’, married a footballer and stopped eating until she was built like the side of a five pound note. Then while [...]

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