If you grew up in the 1990s, then you probably remember a few standout scandals that rocked North America to the core and gave Saturday Night Live and late night tv hosts fodder for years. The OJ Simpson trial (which is currently giving John Travolta and David Schwimmer their roles of the century), the Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky affair, the murderous Long Island Lolita, Amy Fischer, the story of John and Lorena Bobbitt, and, of course, the EPIC feud between Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding that turned violent.
Nancy Kerrigan was this beautiful, America’s sweetheart figure skater and Tonya Harding was her glamorous trailer trash competitor. Back in 1994, the two women were the leading contenders for the U.S. Olympic skating team, when Harding’s husband hired some goons to rough Kerrigan up, thus ruining her chances at qualifying for the team. This dramatic story is FINALLY being brought to the big screen starring the gorgeous Margot Robbie, who has been brilliantly cast as personified trash, Tonya Harding.
Before you get on my ass for making fun of the way another woman looks, I’d really like to point out that constantly referring to Tonya Harding as glamorous trash REALLY comes from her winning history more so than her looks. I mean, Tonya Harding is the total fucking worst. From getting her husband to hire goons to blow out Kerrigan’s knee, to releasing a “celebrity” sex tape, to doing “celebrity” boxing and “celebrity” rehab, she’s like the female equivalent of Tom Sizemore.
Most people who have seen the “Suicide Squad” trailer assume that her role as Harley Quinn is going to put Margot Robbie on the map, however, her role in that movie looks like total child’s play garbage now that she’s been cast as the third trashiest woman to become famous in the 90’s. (I feel like that media was way harder on Monica Lewinsky and Amy Fischer and far more committed to making them trashy. Even though Amy did kind of live up to that role after…) First, they make a tv series about OJ, now they’re making a movie about Tonya Harding. Terrible 90’s scandals are BACK, baby! And no one is more excited than me. The next season of American Crime Story will 100% be about Amy Fischer or Lorena Bobbitt, and they’ll probably try and find some way to incorporate the Kardashians into that shit, too, because, let’s be real, this whole Kardashian angle on this season of American Crime Story is a BIT much.
Anyway, though very few details have been released about the movie, I’m sure Margot Robbie will—at the very least—get nominated for an Oscar for this shit, because the Academy fucking LOVES it when gorgeous white women play ugly white women (see: Charlize Theron in “Monster” and Nicole Kidman in “The Hours”). The performance could literally be shit, but Academy voters will still be totally fucking impressed that a super bangable white woman was able to present herself as another white woman who is so ugly you couldn’t pay people to bang her. Black people can’t get nominated, but if you get someone like Scarlett Johansson to gain 15lbs and throw on a prosthetic nose to play Nanny McPhee in the updated version of Nanny McPhee, she’ll probably get an Oscar for that crap.
Speaking of gorgeous women, if they’re getting someone as stunning as Margot to play that fugly nutcase Tonya Harding, who are they going to cast as Nancy Kerrigan? Did they build a time machine to go back and grab 2004 Angelina Jolie, because that’s really the only way this will work.
gosseyn says
What this whole scandal also revealed is that Nancy Kerrigan is as dumb as a box of rocks. She had a good image skating, but when events called on her to speak about more than her last skating performance, she revealed how empty he head really is.