For those not in the Hollywood know like I am, iconic 90’s lesbian Melissa Etheridge and iconic 90’s hunk Brad Pitt have been besties for over 20 years. She’s put all his top hoes in her music videos over the years: Juliette Lewis, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jennifer Aniston. Well, all but one top hoe…
For a while I thought maybe Melissa just never put Angelina in one of her videos because a) she wasn’t really releasing many videos since Angie and Brad got together, or b) maybe her and Brad weren’t that close anymore. Turns out Melissa just hates the bitch!
Melissa Etheridge recently sat down for an interview with Andy Cohen and man, oh man, she didn’t have many nice things to say about Angelina Jolie.
First of all, she pointed out that Brad, who was once famous for his fun group of Hollywood friends, has been basically kept on lockdown by Angelina for a decade now and has lost contact with a bunch of his good time buddies:
I really hope that he reaches back out because there are a lot of us who haven’t seen him in 10 years, and it was hard then. We lost a friend.
Yes, I’m sure many people have lost friends to the sultry, delicious devil that Angelina Jolie used to be.
Melissa then decided to REALLLLLLY bring up the past, going way back to when a barely legal Angelina stole Billy Bob Thorton from her close bud, Laura Dern. In case you’re not familiar, back when Angie was 23 she did a movie called Pushing Tin with Billy Bob Thorton. Billy Bob was living with, and I believe engaged to, actress Laura Dern at the time the movie was filmed. Laura went out of town for a couple of months to film her own movie, and when she came back, 44-year-old Billy Bob had married baby Ang and moved her into their place. Scandalous, I know. Anyway, apparently Melissa helped Laura get all of her shit out of the house after Angie had moved in with all her blood viles and knives and Barbies since she was basically a child (everyone under 26 is a child to me).
Melissa recalls:
I was around when Angelina was not doing nice things with Billy Bob to Laura Dern. I went through that on a personal level, and then to know the side of Jennifer [Aniston] and Brad. I helped Laura move out of her house with Billy Bob. I like broke into their home to get her stuff out because it was so nasty.
Ok, so, as much as I personally love Angelina Jolie, I kind of get why Melissa Etheridge might hate her. If every time I turned around the same chick was stealing my friends’ man I’d probably think she was a shady bitch, too.
Melissa then spoke out on the whole Brad Pitt child abuse allegations and Angelina filing for sole custody. Clearly she was very supportive of Brad, and not that evil skank Angelina who stole her bff away:
It breaks my heart that anyone would take something as personal as your marriage and your relationship and your rights to your children and do it as purposefully as I see it’s being done, because there’s a way to be. I’ve gone through family courts. I’ve been twice around this block, and I know it really well, and I know when there’s some forethought to just how mean and just how you’re going to put disinformation out there first.
Melissa’s interview has really got me wondering if, after all these years of defending and worshipping her, maybe Angelina Jolie actually is just a sneaky snake? I mean, she used to be really wild and sexy and badass and cool, but what if she’s really just manipulative and shady af?
No, Krysta. Don’t let yourself think that. You can’t do that to yourself. It would shatter your world…