While I’ve been busy doing a somewhat sporadic job reporting on the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split, other media outlets (I’m looking at you Us Weekly) have become a little bit obsessed with how Jennifer Aniston is taking the whole thing.
I jumped on the Us Weekly site today (I love to bite the hand that feeds) and there were literally two stories titled: ‘Jen Aniston Wears an Evil Eye Necklace Post Brangelina Split’ and ‘Jen Gets Massage, Dinner With Justin Amid Brangelina News’, and all I could think was WHO FUCKING CARES?!
Listen, when Brangelina broke up, I, like many people, made the joke that somewhere out there Jennifer Aniston was probably smugly laughing to herself about Brad getting his karma, but, in reality, I don’t think she really gives a whole ton of fucks.
Brad and Jen broke up in January 2005 and I believe they were legally divorced by October of that year. That means they have been broken up for almost TWELVE YEARS and divorced for eleven. They were only together for seven!
While I’m sure any woman would have been angry and sad af if their husband dumped them for Angelina Jolie in her hotness prime, then very quickly knocked her up (seriously, she was sporting a baby bump by December 2005), it was still over a damn decade ago.
And it’s not like Jennifer Aniston went on to become some sad, tragic cat lady who still slept with a lifestyle doll constructed to look just like Brad. She married Justin Theroux who a) is a mega babe, b) is mega talented…seriously, he co-wrote Tropic Thunder, which is HILARIOUS, and c) has his own money. She’s also still super hot, has a great body, great friends, and an active career.
Jennifer Aniston’s net worth is $170 million dollars, she’s still making like two movies per year, and she lives a seemingly fun lifestyle with great friends and a hot, successful husband. So, why the fuck are Us Weekly and other media outlets avidly reporting every move she makes and what jewelry she decides to wear just because a guy she was married to over a decade ago is getting divorced?
Even though I’m pumped for the article ‘Jen Aniston Gets Colonoscopy Admist Brangelina Drama’, I think people really need to fuck off with this Jennifer Aniston/Brangelina shit because it’s getting pretty weak.