Posts tagged as:

50 Cent

Brothers: Blu-ray Review

by David Scarborough

Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal look pretty similar, don’t they? That doe-eyed bulging apathy that seeps from their indistinct puff-gobs make them near gloomy twins. Gylenhaal even nearly replaced Maguire as Spiderman when producers thought that Peter Parker needed to mope around a bit more in the sequel. It’s little surprise that someone eventually paired [...]

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50 Cent Loses 54 Pounds, Now Owes £53.50

by Stuart Heritage

Never say that 50 Cent doesn’t take his acting seriously – just look at his first film Get Rich Or Die Tryin’.

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50 Cent To Never Ever Retire From Music

by Matthew Laidlow

When people have good news to announce, they are usually bubbling with excitement and oozing with joy to share the information with others. Of course, we felt a little bit giddy when friend of the family and idol to a few…

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50 Cent Sued For Sort Of Being In A Sex Tape, But Not Really

by Stuart Heritage

Like many people, we can only achieve climax from pornography if rap stars edit footage of themselves into it.

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50 Cent Wants To Get All Ghetto With Susan Boyle

by Matthew Laidlow

Take 50 Cent and Susan Boyle. You wouldn’t really want to spend a single minute of your time in their company, would you? Think about it, they’d both spew out the same mushy story in a vain attempt to make you give a toss about them. Both of them have humble backgrounds and didn’t find [...]

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

Cool uncle and embarrassing aunt. Folded: The Chase from Midnight Express – Club Version (very Berlin. Then again you could remix Giorgio Moroder‘s alarm clock and make a decent track) Films on the telly (why are they always more fun than putting on a DVD?) Be miserable (doctor’s orders) Donut Drake in Uncharted 2 (such [...]

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50 Cent To Produce Awful Films As Well As Star In Them

by Stuart Heritage

When it comes to starring in movies that are essentially about 50 Cent, 50 Cent is probably in the top 20 or so.

But 50 Cent is tired of only starring in awful, third-rate movies that only idiots like. So he’s decided to branch out and start producing awful, third-rate movies that only idiots like as well. Think that’s as bad as it gets? Don’t – because 50 Cent’s first movie is going to star Nicolas Cage.

Kanye West, if you’re reading this, please start producing movies too. That way they can be more successful than 50 Cent’s and he can retire from that as well. Thanks.

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50 Cent Gets To Hang Around With Oddly-Named Son More

by Stuart Heritage

50 Cent was brought up on the streets, and therefore he’s not a man you want to mess with – he’s gangsta, he knows how to hold a grudge.

Cross 50 Cent and you’ll know. You’re entire family will know it. Everyone you’ve ever cared for will know it. Unless, you know, it’s a dispute that can be peacefully mediated in a courtroom within the space of about five minutes, because if that’s the case 50 Cent will probably just do that instead.

And that’s just what 50 Cent did yesterday, to settle a custody agreement over visitation rights to his 12-year-old son Marquise. In the agreement 50 Cent will spend more time with Marquise, and that’s important. Not because a boy of Marquise’s age needs a strong father figure, though – but because now 50 Cent has even more time to relentlessly apologise for deciding to name him something as crap as Marquise.

50 Cent was brought up on the streets, and therefore he's not a man you want to mess with - he's gangsta, he knows how to hold a grudge. Cross 50 Cent and you'll know. You're entire family will know it. Everyone you've ever cared for will know it. Unless, you know, it's a dispute that can be peacefully mediated in a courtroom within the space of about five minutes, because if that's the case 50 Cent will probably just do that instead. And that's just what 50 Cent did yesterday, to settle a custody agreement over visitation rights to his 12-year-old son Marquise. In the agreement 50 Cent will spend more time with Marquise, and that's important. Not because a boy of Marquise's age needs a strong father figure, though - but because now 50 Cent has even more time to relentlessly apologise for deciding to name him something as crap as Marquise.
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50 Cent Loves His Son And Doesn’t Take Drugs, The Big Girl

by Stuart Heritage

Everyone knows what they want from 50 Cent – and that’s gritty, hardcore tales of violent life on the streets.

However, don’t be surprised if 50 Cent’s next CD is a concept album about the art of making quiches and other assorted fancy continental pastry dishes, because 50 Cent, so help us god, has turned soft.

How soft? Get this – 50 Cent wanted to take his little boy on vacation so much that he took, and passed, a court-ordered drug test. Not taking drugs? Caring for his own children? Really, 50 Cent, what kind of role model do you call yourself? Quickly, go and mug a pensioner or shoot a policeman before it’s too late. Yeeuch.

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50 Cent Mad at Taco Bell for Thinking He’s Worth More Than 50 Cents

by hecklerspray staff

Now, don’t be intimidated by our extensive knowledge of economics, but we kinda know a lot about it. Like we know that with America’s struggling economy, companies should be careful with their money. But, Taco Bell threw the gorditas to the wind when they asked rapper 50 Cent to change his name to 79, 89, [...]

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