When it comes to starring in movies that are essentially about 50 Cent, 50 Cent is probably in the top 20 or so.
But 50 Cent is tired of only starring in awful, third-rate movies that only idiots like. So he’s decided to branch out and start producing awful, third-rate movies that only idiots like as well. Think that’s as bad as it gets? Don’t – because 50 Cent’s first movie is going to star Nicolas Cage.
Kanye West, if you’re reading this, please start producing movies too. That way they can be more successful than 50 Cent’s and he can retire from that as well. Thanks.
Although he’s primarily known for being a rapper, 50 Cent has also carved out a nifty side-career as a Hollywood star with a highly enviable slate of movies to his name. For instance, there was Get Rich Or Die Tryin’, the semi-autobiographical movie where 50 Cent unfortunately ended up getting rich.
And how many other rappers have co-starred in movies that have almost killed the careers of both Robert De Niro and Al Pacino? No, 50 Cent has got plenty to be proud of.
But ever since Kanye West sold more records than him and forced his retirement from music, 50 Cent has been at a bit of a loss of things to do. Sure, he’s tried his hand at other activities – like printing books, spending more time with his amusingly-named children and suing fast-food outlets for the hell of it – but none of these have filled the aching gap in his soul left by music.
So 50 Cent is now having a crack at something else – producing movies. It’s basically the same as being a rapper – you get to drive a big car, get shitfaced on drugs, surround yourself with booby models and have underground Eight Mile-style produce-offs with other aspiring – except you can hang around with Nicolas Cage without worrying that he’ll ask to pop a guest verse on your next single.
Which is exactly what 50 Cent has done, come to think of it. BBC News reports:
The rapper-turned-actor unveiled his plans for Cheetah Vision at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah. 50 Cent, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, said his new company had already bought eight scripts. He told Reuters the first to be produced would be The Dance, starring himself and Nicolas Cage. Jackson said: “He (Cage) plays the founder of a boxing program, and I play a fighter who goes to state prison.”
Wow, The Dance, huh? Nicolas Cage, huh? Why, that sounds awfully like The Dance, the 50 Cent/ Nicolas Cage movie that we wrote about almost three years ago. 50 Cent must have seen something really special in that movie, to offer to produce it himself after it was kept in development hell for so long.
And we’d agree with him, too. It might not be easy for 50 Cent to get by in an industry he has no real experience of but, with a bit of time and a whole lot of effort, he might just make The Dance the worst Nicolas Cage movie ever. Here’s hoping.
green says
goody another two hours of watching 50 cent mumble through his teeth.
leavemebe says
JEALOUSY WILL GET YOU NO WHERE…..YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM THAT IS WHY YOU KEEP HIS NAME IN YOU MOUTH….MAKE THAT MONEY 50
50 fan says
U r a true asshole…have u forgot everything!!!
50 is a true rapper. He went from dirt to clean water! who can do that!
he sold over 30 million copies in his carrier etc… what is the big problem with 50 cent??!? explain me! being the best maybe?
bob says
Does anyone really listen to the rapping or is it the music and the hook. The few that listen to rap…that work for a living couldn’t repeat anything other than the hook. And we all hate a good song with rap just stuck in the middle for no apparent reason, usually not even rapping what the song is about.
“true rapper” as opposed to a false rapper. Making up poems and saying them to a beat is rap. If I paint a picture of a cowboy beautifully but I’ve never been anywhere outside of a big city its still considered “Country and western art”.
You do know that 50cent could care less about you or anything about you. He would sell crack to your 9yr old daughter if it got him whatever “thing” he want to buy himself.
Julian Mentat says
If it weren’t for teenage boys’ uncontrollable obsession with the female body, the rap industry would not exist.
fede says
50 Cent is over all this bullsh, I mean how many rappers do movies with pacino, de niro,jackson,cage, kilmer, etc.?
he’s in drinks,condoms,music,movies,books,clothes, sneakers, I mean he a true businessman