The popular song goes "You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss" but in India it isn't – in India, a kiss is something so disgustingly obscene that the sight of it instinctively makes you start burning effigies of people while chanting angrily.
Just ask Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty – the initial outrage over their kiss at a recent AIDS awareness event hasn't died down yet, with the nationwide chain of Richard Gere Effigies R Us megamarts still reporting unusually high sales, especially of their Dr T And The Women model. And to make matters worse, Indian lawyers have now filed official complaints about the Richard Gere/ Shilpa Shetty kiss. All in all, it's safe to say that Richard Gere hasn't been in this much of a pickle since his nephew asked him where his gerbil was sometime in the mid-1980s.
And Shilpa Shetty was doing so well, too. All through Celebrity Big Brother Shilpa Shetty stood firm in the face of all the chronic racism she was subjected to, and was ultimately rewarded with a day out to meet the Queen and a visit to the House Of Commons while racism-doer Jade Goody was banned from India and Comic Relief respectively.
Prospects were looking good for Shilpa Shetty – she looked set to finally get the cross-cultural acceptance that had evaded all of her Bollywood cohorts – and then Richard Gere started pawing at her and kissing her on the face on a stage in front of a crowd in New Delhi.
We all know what happened next – outraged by this disgusting show of indecency, Indians took to the streets to burn effigies of Richard Gere and scream "Death to Shilpa Shetty!" This probably seems like more of a big deal than it actually is, since we're led to believe that Indians happily burn effigies of their own family if they don't fully approve of the Christmas presents they've received, but now Shilpa Shetty and Richard Gere are going to face the full force of Indian law, as the San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Actor Richard Gere and Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty are facing legal action in India after being accused of committing "an obscene act" last weekend… Three lawyers in India have now filed complaints against their amorous actions, and Shetty, along with several private television channels, face two further charges for showing videos of the kiss after legal papers were filed in Ghaziabad.
Funny what offends people, isn't it? For Indians it's the sight of two people kissing, while for Christians it's a chocolate Jesus with his willy out. Still, we're sure that the Indian lawmakers will eventually see sense and throw Richard Gere in jail for the rest of his natural life like he deserves. There won't be a Shall We Dance 2, you hear. Not on our watch.
Read more:
Gere And Shetty Face Legal Action Over Public Kiss – San Francisco Chronicle
carl says
what a kick ass article! Lovin’ it. Pure realism. “there won’t be a shall we dance 2”, that’s the funniest joke/comment all year. NIce link to resistance as well. game on. let’s do a buddy list and shoot chimera together. take care.