Hecklerspray is sad. We've been around for a couple of years now, and not once has a single Indian constructed a crude effigy of us and burnt it on the streets – we wouldn't mind, but it seems like we're the last people on Earth to have this done to us.
Perhaps we should hang out with Shilpa Shetty some more, since everyone who Shilpa even glances at will inevitably have a rudimentary representation of them made by an angry Indian who'll burn it on the streets in front of the global media. First Jade Goody got the Shilpa Shetty burning effigy treatment, and now it's the turn of Richard Gere – who earnt all of his Indian burning effigies by daring to kiss Shilpa Shetty in the name of charity. The dirty godless fucking bastard.
There's a level of craftsmanship in Indian angry mobs that you just don't get in this country. Mobilise any kind of angry mob in the UK and you'll be lucky if they manage to daub the word 'paedophile' in shoe polish correctly on the child's dirty bedspread they call a banner. Enrage an Indian, however, and they'll go home and painstakingly construct a remarkably lifelike little statue of you out of wicker so that they can take it onto the street, burn it and shriek about how they want you dead. We should be so lucky to have angry mobs that are as proficient as their angry mobs.
Indians are a notoriously peaceful people. Gandhi was Indian and Yoga – as in 'the use of meditation as a path to self-knowledge and liberation' and not 'wearing a leotard and putting your bum in the air' – was invented there. But get an Indian angry and, boy, do they ever get angry – just ask Liz Hurley's father-in-law or Angelina Jolie's bodyguards.
Or, more relevantly, ask Shilpa Shetty. During the Celebrity Big Brother racism hoo-ha earlier in the year, Indian's famously reacted to Jade Goody referring to someone called 'Shilpa Fuckawallah' by making little effigies of Jade and burning them on the streets. Which was fair enough, since a) it showed the world that casual racism would not be tolerated and b) Jade Goody is a bit of an arsehole.
But even though Shilpa Shetty has gone on to do great things after winning Celebrity Big Brother, like eating a pudding named after her with some MPs and wondering why she hasn't got a boyfriend, it doesn't mean that she can go around doing anything she likes. That includes letting Richard Gere kiss her during a fundraising event in New Delhi, because Richard Gere did kiss Shilpa Shetty during a fundraising event in New Delhi on Sunday, and it left Indians with no choice but to start angrily burning effigies again, as BBC News reports:
Demonstrators in Mumbai (Bombay) set light to effigies of the Hollywood star, while protesters in other cities shouted "death to Shilpa Shetty". The protesters said Gere insulted Indian culture by kissing the hand and face of the Bollywood actress. Public displays of affection and sex are still largely taboo in India. Shetty downplayed the incident, saying "it was not so obscene… This was not such a big thing for people to over-react in such a manner."
With all of this wanton effigy-burning following any movement that Shilpa Shetty makes, we're just pleased that it was the Queen who met Shilpa on Commonwealth Day and not Prince Harry. If a simple kiss from a Hollywood actor can cause so much upset, just imagine how many burning effigies a tittygrope from a ginger boy would inspire.
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tamara says
If one bonkers rebellious Indian Shilpa & Richard fan in the crowd shouted ‘Richard, give Shilpa a kiss’ and he said ‘No’ – what a fucking racist bastard he would be
saurabh says
boissss you are giving ideas to bush. No, not the one that grows, the american president. The one that grows can generate it’s own ideas. Am sure now bush ji will be sending missy shilpa to kiss ahmadinejad uncle and ping pong uncle of north korea.
After all the effigies are burnt bush uncle will say Shilpa is a threat to america and also to the world as she is responsible for global warming.
This promises to be a good year i tell you.
Anand Veeraragavab says
Well said mate! This shockingly blatant attack on Indian culture (for what else can a kiss on the cheek of an Indian beauty/heroine by a Hollywood (white) superstar in a fund raising even mean?) has indeed left my people with no other option but to make those intricate, life like effigies of the said perosnalities and burn them to show what would be their actual fate were they to be brave enough to step on the streets after that! Stone throwing, effigy burning, “Narra lagana” (shouting detrimental slogans) are all legitimate means of expressing disapproval where I hail from at any and every actual or perceived insult to our heritage, culture, dignity, race, caste, creed, colour, … well you get the point?
Long live India and the wonderfully sentimental Indians who waste their time and energy at all trivialities but up liftment of more fundamental issues. Ok, I’d better stop now lest they find a picture of me on the world wide web and get those effigies made!
Anand
Maryland, USA
Scott says
For a society who has been deeply damaged by colonialism can one think of a more offensive image of a white guy grabbing a daughter of India and forcing himself upon her? It is so symbolic. It is right in line with the image of the white colonist forcing himself upon a country and just taking whatever he wants.
Richard Gere should pay the ultimate price for this.
What bothers me however is those who would blame Shilpa Shetty for this.
Too often women victims of rape in India are blamed for what happened like they wanted the rape to happen or it was their fault the rape happened even when the truth might be that the rapists brutalized them and they couldn’t stop the rape from happening.
While of course Richard Gere didn’t actually rape Shilpa Shetty, I still see this whole “Blame the Woman Victim” dynamic in place. From what I saw from the video Shilpa Shetty did nothing to cause Richard Gere to act the way he did, and was in fact as shocked as everyone else was that he would act in such a disgraceful manner.
We need to defend this daughter of India, not blame her for this white man’s assault upon her.
JAMES says
gereshould rape an hav sex with that sexy bitch. she should come to my house naked oh jesus i’ll be horny.
Roy Le Pre says
My apologies for flogging this dead horse and…lighting an old flame (!)
I am in utter, total, certain and definite concurrence with Veeraragavab, above.
Whee! There is hope, methinkth.