Shilpa Shetty is the sweetheart of the UK, or at least the sweetheart of guilty middle-aged men who think that possessing a basic teenager's knowledge of modern pop culture makes then credible to normal people – in short, politicians like Shilpa Shetty.
And Shilpa Shetty just loves politicians right back. Ever since Gordon Brown went to India to try and stop everyone from burning effigies of Jade Goody at the height of the Celebrity Big Brother racistathon, Shilpa Shetty has been enjoying a love affair with all British politicians, and this was topped off yesterday when Shilpa Shetty went to visit the House Of Commons, where she simpered about how nice everyone was, made some weak jokes about how the House Of Commons was a bit like the Celebrity Big Brother house and then went somewhere else.
The best thing about politicians is probably the way they'll leap on any passing fad to try and look like they're not hopelessly out-of-touch with modern voters. For example, there's going to be a debate in the House Of Commons next week entitled Did You See Those Two Boys Kissing On Hollyoaks The Other Day? Man That Was Well Gash, and one of the topics to be covered in the next Prime Minister's Question Time is The Ginger One Out Of Girls Aloud: What's That All About? I Thought They Were All Supposed To Be Pretty Or Sumfink.
So when the big Celebrity Big Brother racism thing kicked off, you could literally smell the anticipation coming from the country's MPs. Politicians were lining up to say how Shilpa Shetty is brilliant and racism is bad and – in the case of Edwina Curry – how Jade Goody was a right old slag. And ever since Shilpa Shetty won Celebrity Big Brother, MPs have been hounding her to come and visit the House Of Commons. After an invite from MP Keith Vaz, Shilpa Shetty took time out from her never-ending quest to find a boyfriend to pootle over to parliament and have a look around. And this, according to The Mirror, is what happened:
The PM ushered her into his office for a private meeting and besotted Leader of the House Jack Straw asked for her autograph. His fellow ministers Peter Hain and Harriet Harman were among Westminster high fliers who joined Shilpa in the plush Members' Dining Room for lunch. They finished up with a dessert named Shilpa's Delight in her honour. Labour chairwoman Hazel Blears even collared her in a corridor and gushed: "You're so glamorous!" And after her chat with the Bollywood beauty, Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell simply exclaimed: "Wow!" Shilpa, 31, said afterwards that Mr Blair, who gave her a picture of the Commons signed by him and wife Cherie, had been "very, very sweet". She said they had discussed the racist bullying she endured in the Big Brother house, adding: "The Prime Minister was really kind. He said I carried myself with the utmost dignity." And as Big Ben struck the hour behind her, she exclaimed: "It gave me goose bumps!"
It's nice to see that Tony Blair still has time to chat with people from reality TV shows and hand them all kinds of rubbishy trinkets when he really should probably be running the entire effing country. At this rate we're half-expecting gushing MPs to lobby to name the Isle Of Wight after Claire Buckfield when she invariably wins Dancing On Ice.
But Shilpa Shetty isn't the only Celebrity Big Brother housemate to receive all kinds of fancy invites. Just as soon as Jo O'Meara stops crying and rocking backwards and forwards she's welcome to visit Dagenham Working Man's Club for the full VIP Chicken In A Basket treatment, and even though Jade Goody has been banned from India, she's hoping to make a step into the Shilpa's Delight market with her own brand of pudding. True, it's going to be called That Racist Shouting Dickhead's Delight, but it's a start.
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nosebag says
Argh – I want to dislike Shilpa for all this whoring she’s doing, but that’d make me racist, right?
Kerry says
What is happening to our society? All of this is political correctness gone mad, how fitting she should be visiting the Home of the root of all of our confusion.
Da man says
What the hell is she doing going to parliament. I was bor here, I pay all my taxes and I work dam hard for what I’ve got but I can’t get into parliament. This country is going downhill very quickly.
Channel 4’s Big Brother program makes it into Parliament but real issues that bothers every normal Brittish person does not.
Roy Sharma- Le Pre says
For crying out loud! So bloody what if one relatively insignificant character decides to go and visit Parliament? The fact of the matter appears to be that we, increasingly, are following our politicians’ example, by engaging in the very thing we accuse them of being guily of – timewasting ! And for that matter – has nobody heard of that most important of practices – PR?? Things have to be done sometimes to calm the rowdy masses. A mere visit and light comments should not chuck taxpayers like Da Man off-balance!
Then again….
Bill says
This same crap has been happening in Washington forever…Politics isn’t about laws and governing; it’s about corruption and exploitation. By the way…what’s an “MP”? I know the PM is the Prime Minister.
Stuart Heritage says
Hey Bill. Should have made that clear, sorry – MP stands for Member of Parliament. Should be MOP really, but then people would confuse the British government with gangsta rappers, and that’d never do
julies says
Da Man, you can go to Parliament – just write to your MP and they’ll take you on a tour.
Benjamin Nevis says
Wot a load of bollix you do talk
Gilbert Wham says
Yes, but if you write to your MP enough, they become upset & no longer reply…
John Keogh says
Stuart: at what age do men become abnormal? Are women more abnormal because they are sensible and know even less of pop culture?
Kerry says
John, I do believe men become abnormal from the very first breath until they die.
Vig says
Sorry, Da Man, but I have to chip in – you can go to Parliament any time you like. Here’s how: http://www.parliament.uk/directories/hcio/gallery.cfm.
Mike Hunt says
I think Ben Nevis should write to his MP, but he should use less jokey name if he wants a serious reply