If any of you have ever seen Paula Abdul's bleary-eyed unintelligible meanderings on American Idol and wished you could see a show about nothing but that, your prayers have been answered – Paula Abdul now has her own reality show.
Hey Paula starts tonight on Bravo in the US and will probably make it over here as soon as the channel has cleared space between Porn Week and old episodes of Dog The Bounty Hunter. Anyway, the first episode of Hey Paula deals with Paula Abdul trying to stop her dogs from eating a pile of priceless diamonds or something, and it's hoped that later episodes will focus on Paula Abdul's chronic back pain, Paula Abdul's confusing behaviour in interviews and the time that Paula Abdul kept repeatedly trying to walk through a closed patio door for half an hour before breaking down and wondering why the voices in her head had created a forcefield stopping her from entering her own house.
There is no greater sign of a celebrity losing touch with the real world than when they sign up for a reality TV show. With the exception of The Simple Life – which seemingly only exists so that Paris Hilton can dream up new ways to be annoyingly stupid – the majority of reality TV shows come about because celebrities want to show the world "the real me" when they don't seem to realise that "the real me" is a brainless narcissist who can't even begin to function in the real world without a team of scurrying sycophants holding their hand. Literally no good ever comes from a famous person getting a reality TV show.
Proof? OK. After The Osbournes was aired a quad bike landed on Ozzy Osbourne's head and his house burnt down. After Britney And Kevin: Chaotic was aired Britney Spears went horrifically cuckoo. After Being Bobby Brown was aired Osama Bin Laden decided he loved Whitney Houston. After The Anna Nicole Smith Show was aired Anna Nicole Smith died. So God knows what will happen to Paula Abdul after Hey Paula, her new reality show that premieres tonight in America.
Admittedly Paula Abdul is the perfect choice for a reality show, in that her entire life seems to be full of the sort of confusing episodes that'd scar most normal people for life – like when that American Idol contestant said that Paula Abdul had sex with him, or when she had a crying meltdown on the phone, or when she smashed up her face on a dog. None of those amusing set-pieces happen on the first episode of Hey Paula, though, as the Washington Post reveals:
As the show begins, Abdul tells us that despite being a celebrity, she's "an everyday girl" and is "just like everyone else." Ah, yes. As with any other "everyday girl," Abdul's best friend is her celebrity stylist; she has two assistants whose job it is to pack her suitcase; and her four designer mutts wear million-dollar pieces of jewelry… It's just not that funny or interesting to watch Abdul as she watches her housekeeper picking up after her dogs after a visit to the back yard.
So it looks like all Hey Paula will actually do is further the myth of Paula Abdul as a spacey nutter who's about as in touch with reality as a Moomin, but still it could be worse – Bravo could have made a Randy Jackson reality TV show. And we expect that 30 minutes of watching a fully grown man repeating the word "dog" like Rain Man on a trip to the kennel club would make Hey Paula look like a masterpiece.
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chestnut says
the show looks hilarious. i hope it makes it to the UK as soon as possible
MW says
Watching her messed up behavior on television SMELLS bad enough, I wouldn’t want to try her fragrance. She blames her behavior on everyone and everything else, it’s a wonder she hasn’t blamed it on the fumes of her new perfume. Or maybe she is just drinking it?
She is in denial by saying I don’t use recreational drugs, just like Anna Nicole she thinks she doesn’t have a problem if some doctor prescribes it for her.
The reality show just proves that she is messed up ALL the time. If she could control it than surly she would be able to with the ability to edit it yet they can’t seem to find more than a few minutes where she is able to talk without slurring, whining or bawling about how difficult her life is with personal servants all around her. How can any of them stand to work for her? She could not pay me enough to tolerate her.