Kelly Osbourne, the fat-mouthed daughter of shaky, confused rockstar Ozzy Osbourne and dreadful squealing Asda spokeswoman Sharon Osbourne was caught in a house fire yesterday.
The alarm installed in the Osbournes' Buckinghamshire mansion meant that Kelly Osbourne managed to escape the blaze unharmed and ready to have her picture taken for more of those strangely off-putting Accessorize posters. Kelly was the only member of the Osbourne family at the home at the time, which is a shame, since Sharon Osbourne would have surely nipped the fire in the bud with her legendary water-throwing skills had she been at the scene.
Strange to think how the Osbournes have become so well-loved around the world, isn't it? It doesn't matter what any of them do these days – jump off mountains like Jack, release very obvious Imagine ripoffs like Ozzy, stand about moaning about everything like Kelly or annoy Iron Maiden and shriek at Rebecca Loos like Sharon – and people still line up to say how wonderful they all are.
Perhaps it's just because life around the Osbournes is just so flipping eventful. Whether this is because – as Ozzy believes – their Buckinghamshire mansion is haunted, or because – as we're more inclined to lean towards – the Osbournes aren't really very good at operating regular household equipment, remains to be seen, but trouble does seem to follow them about a lot.
Three years ago Ozzy Osbourne survived having a quad bike land on his head at the mansion, and it was also burgled, and now it's caught fire. Kelly Osbourne – the only member of the family at home yesterday when the fire started – was woken by staff who discovered the blaze, and was quickly escorted outside, only to become hysterical when she thought a dog was left in the burning house. A source told Sky:
"Kelly was really upset, but the dog turned up safe."
Firefighters were automatically alerted by the mansion's £25,000 alarm system, and extinguished the fire, thought to be caused by a dodgy lamp. Best Mum In The World Sharon Osbourne promptly returned to comfort Kelly. She was in Dublin filming the new series of X Factor when the fire took place, so at least we can rule out the cause of the fire being a revenge arson attack by the Conway Sisters.
[story by Stuart Heritage]