Hear Paula Abdul’s Weird Sob-Cry Phone Recording
hecklerspray almost got knighted once – honest. The year was 1983 and we'd just saved a royal kitten from the belly of a starving pauper. We were heroes. People threw us parades, we opened three grocery stores and the Queen was thrilled to pieces.
Then some social group decided it wasn't ethical to open the bellies of poor people no matter what was inside – and that's when the tides changed. Our royal banquet was called off, we were forced to clean the ticker-tape someone else threw at us, and Cyndi Lauper gave our part to Captain Lou Albano. We wanted to have fun too, lady.
But that's what fame and power does to you, right? It takes you to the highest highs and the lowest lows. Just ask Paula Abdul – she knows. She just had a cry-filled phone conversation recorded and released to the public à la Alec Baldwin. In it she talks about a bunch of things – cleaning up diarrhoea at Jimmy Kimmel's house is in the mix. Or something like that.
Hear it here. Maybe.
It would seem Paula Abdul just got a bunch of new mouth-piece slaves. She was breaking them in recently via an overly long phone conversation in which they probably kept hitting the mute button and reminding each other just how many truck loads of money she was paying them. Then they would unmute the phone and say "Well we'll treat you well," or something to that effect. The call was recorded for some reason.
We listened to the recording, and for approximately .04 seconds in the very beginning Paula Abdul wasn't crying. Then she was like the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. She talks about how someone said she'd never get a cover again, how her neck is diseased, and how her spine is part robot. That's a loose interpretation on our part. Here's a sample of the dialogue:
"The people that are supposed to take care of things, not only do they not, they make it so painful that I have to clean up the diarrhoea everywhere I go, from what they do."
The recording goes on – there's about five minutes there altogether, but diarrhoea was only mentioned once and we hate posting non-diarrhoea related quotes. As you know. Paula Abdul's pissed about the leaked tape. Although it doesn't have her threatening the physical-wellness of any pre-teens, it does make her sound a bit crazy, pathetic, drunk and… well, hot. Seriously – you throw drunk and pathetic in the mix and you've got our favourite girl combo. Anyway, Paula Abdul shot off these words of stern rebuke:
"This is not only illegal but also highly unethical. While I don't feel a need to justify or explain my conversation, even as a public figure I do feel my privacy has been violated and find this action to be unacceptable."
Paula's right though. It is unacceptable that the tape was leaked in the first place, and it is unacceptable that media grubbing whores are spreading it around. It's her business.
We have the Paula Abdul tape here. It's so funny.
Read More:
Hilarious.
She could be talking about the time where she was immobilized from her accident. Perhaps she had trouble using the bathroom and made a mess. It’s not funny in any way if you ask me…. Ok, I take that back. 4 to 8 year olds will find this utterly “Hilarious”