Paris Hilton Out Of Jail Already
Paris Hilton spending 23 days locked in a room with only her thoughts for company is a terrifying notion – because we're not sure she has any thoughts – so it's just as well that Paris Hilton has been released from jail already.
Rumours have quickly spreading that Paris Hilton was released from jail this morning – much earlier than expected, after serving just three days of her sentence, thanks to good behaviour. Quite what constitutes this good behaviour – maybe Paris didn't sing Stars Are Blind at any point, or perhaps she didn't spend her jail time wanking off men and putting the video on the internet – is beyond us; but the swarms of reporters, photographer and news crews outside the Century Regional Detention Facility at the moment seemed to suggest hours ago that Paris Hilton really has been released from her hellish three-day celebrity prison torture.
Depending on who you listen to, Paris Hilton's jail sentence has either been an important time for self-reflection or a less important time for crying, not eating anything and getting visited by psychologists, depending on whether you're Paris Hilton's lawyer or any of the news organisations that have reported that Paris Hilton has spent her first three days in jail crying, not eating anything and getting visited by psychologists. But now it all seems to be coming to an end, as the prison where Paris Hilton is staying seems to have announced that Paris has been released. Back when we knew about this hours ago and our server was working, The Sun reported:
Hollywood is buzzing with rumours this morning that Paris Hilton is about to be released from jail. Sources at Los Angeles Century Regional Detention Facility claimed the hotel heiress was due for release imminently after serving just three days of a 23 day sentence. Paparazzi photographers and TV crews were swarming round the jail from around 11pm local time on Wednesday (7am Thursday UK time) hoping to catch the socialite leaving.
Of course, we can only begin the horror of serving a vastly-reduced sentence in a cushy prison for famous people, so – now that paris Hilton has been released from jail – it'll be especially sweet for her to take a cleansing breath of free air and then get on with doing the things she loves, like weeing into taxis and leaving invisible bruises on Lindsay Lohan's arm.
Paris Hilton being released early from jail isn't really a surprise – Michelle Rodriguez only served four hours of her sentence last year, and that's for asking a policeman to "put a gun to my head" as well. All Paris Hilton is guilty of is driving around drunk and then driving again after a judge told her not to, so a reduced spell in jail was always going to be the likely outcome.
It's bittersweet news, really – not only were all of Paris Hilton's fellow prisoners unable to make good on all those death threats that they'd been so excited about, but now Paris Hilton must face up to the fact that she isn't too beautiful for jail. She's too beautiful to spend more than half a week in jail. Big difference.
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I can’t believe the bleepin’ let her out already. I might as well give up now because there is no justice in this world.
Excuse me while I go cry somewhere……
I have absolutely no respect for the justice system. There truly is no justice, the poor face an entirely different set of rules as the rich.
Paris Hilton Roundup:
Paris Gets a Bracelet… Hilton released from jail for ‘medical issue’… Confined to house for 40 days… Video: Sheriffs Talk…
http://thetopstories.blogspot.com/2007/06/paris-hilton-roundup-from-drudge-report.html
What a joke. She probably intentionally got pregnant so that she wouldn’t have to serve her time.
Thank goodness we posted a mug shot a couple of days ago. Geez, that got old in a hurry!
http://thinkbillions.blogspot.com
First time cut from 45 days to 23, then she in for only 3 days. It proves that if you are rich, white and good looking the rules and laws don’t apply to you. If you are non-while and poor you would be in jail for 6 months and do every day of it. Now Paris is home having great parties with all her whore friends laughing like hell. Maybe she’ll write a book about the hell that jail is and what a few more millions. No wonder kids have no respect for the law.
Regardless of how annoying this whole thing is, I can honestly say I’m not surprised. We all knew she was a spoiled brat, and I’m surprised there are so many headlines about it. I think that the articles would be a lot more interesting if they used the picture of her from this website instead: http://www.hollywoodzombies.com. I work with Hollywood Zombies and I feel so fortunate to be doing something good in this world of double standards and incongruities. Check out the other pics on the site… there are a bunch of other celebrities in this collection as well.
You have GOT to be fucking kidding me (as opposed to kiddingly fucking me).
So, let’s consider, hypothetically of course, that a certain viking with a propensity towards cutting down trees, was caught driving drunk, then caught driving drunk again, then caught with a suspended license and cited for a probation violation. Afterwards, he didn’t bother to show up to his court hearing. What do you think would happen?
Apparently, the answer is that provided his appetite was slightly lower than normal, he would serve three days in a women’s jail.
Mental note.
One of two things happened:
a) she sucked off the right person
b) the Hiltons lined the pockets of the right person with motel cash
Apparently she is allowed to have parties at her house, and drink alcohol.
I’d say that both of your “two things” happened.
Trash is as trash does.