Paris Hilton must be terrified of going to jail right now – not only is being locked in a room for 23 hours a day with a burly monobrowed tattooed violent kidnapper totally not hot, but all the other inmates seem to want to kill Paris Hilton too.
According to reports, the reason why Paris Hilton is furiously windmilling to try and get her 45-day jail sentence pardoned by Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't because she's a flaky waste of skin who has singularly failed to accomplish anything with her life apart from wanking off a bloke on the internet. No, the real reason for Paris Hilton's desire to be pardoned is that she's been flooded with death threats by angry female prisoners. Prisoners who want her shoes. Oh, the humanity.
Paris Hilton getting a 45-day jail sentence for violating her probation has sent a very important message around the world; it doesn't matter how rich you are, how famous you are or how beautiful you wrongfully assume yourself to be – the law is the law and if you break the law you go to prison. But if you do happen to be rich and famous, the inmates at your new jail are probably going to beat the living shit out of you at every opportunity they get.
That's more or less what Paris Hilton is claiming at the moment anyway. Paris Hilton's fear of jail is so palpable that there is nothing she won't try to get let off the hook. As we speak, several high-powered Hilton lawyers are preparing an appeal against the sentence, MySpace users are signing a 'free Paris Hilton' petition on the basis that Paris inspires too much hope in us all to go to prison and Arnold Schwarzenegger is said to have received a request for an official pardon.
Why all the panic? We'd assumed that Paris Hilton would fit right in when she goes to jail next month, seeing as how she could bond with the other inmates over the fact that none of them have sold any albums either. But that doesn't seem to be the case – in fact, as far as the Daily Dish is reporting, all of Paris Hilton's future co-prisoners have started to send the poor girl death threats:
The hotel heiress started receiving death threats on her MySpace.com page the day after she was sentenced to serve time for violating her probation by driving with a suspended license. The insider says, "These maniacs have been writing, 'We're going to get you,' and, 'I'm going to kill you.' It's horrifying. One person wrote that she's going to steal Paris' shoes when she gets to jail — and if Paris argues, she'll be beaten to a pulp."
Now, there's nothing funny about death threats, especially when you're due to spend six weeks locked in a tiny room with the very people issuing the death threats, but Paris Hilton should relax a little. The smarter prisoners will have seen the invisible bruise that Paris Hilton gave Lindsay Lohan last year and realised that you just don't go messing with Paris Hilton.
And anyway – if Paris Hilton does get beaten to a pulp by a gang of shoe-hungry female prisoners, at least she'll learn another very important lesson from her time in jail; that not very many people like Paris Hilton.
Buy your FREE PARIS / DON'T FREE PARIS T-shirts here!
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nikki migloff says
thats what she gets
Euclid says
As a retired shoe salesman, I feel obliged
to mention that I do not approve of this article,
as the shoes come off rather badly in it.
After all, it’s not the shoes’ fault, and here they are
being used as a pair of menacing pawns.
Of course this falls right into the sort of stereotyping
of accessories and especially footwear that
has sadly become the norm in our daily discourse.
I would urge you to rethink spreading these vindictive
and hateful shoe-rumours, not of the sake of the rich
pinhead at whom they have been rightly directed, but
rather for the sake of the shoes. Think of all the much
maligned shoes cowering in closets everywhere at the
thought of somehow being made to blame for the
physical dismemberment of Her Vaccuousness.
Jodi says
Is this America? When a person driving on a suspended license (not a DUI itself) needs to fear for her life because a stupid judge wanted to be famous. Paris should be given no prison time just the same as you and I should not serve time for such a nonsense thing as driving without impairment on a susspended license. They could extend the suspension or add community service. This is foolish that we have several lawyers being paid in order to fight a sentence that should have never been given. And California will need to release early a prisoner that certainly committed a crime worse than driving unimpared on a suspended license. I do not know if California judges are elected or appointed but this one needs to go when his fame is more important to him than real justice. As for all of those that want to see Paris go to jail, please get a life so that you will not need to get enjoyment from the misery of others. Think about this case as if it were your loved one about to serve real time for driving unimpaired.
Goatse Gostse says
Miss Paris is soo hot. I will gladly eat her shit and drink her piss. Hmmm yummy. I wan to suck her feets as well and then give her a nice anal rim job!!
Jana Cuova says
People like PH are what other people write and talk about.
When something bad happens to somebody like PH, boring ppl get off.
Stuart Heritage bores me.
Are you getting off, Stuart?
Why don’t you get a life of your own…
niall r says
i wound like to see her in behind bars she should think twice
THE BIG CHUCQUITA says
I didn’t know that inmate’s were allowed access to computers while they are in jail. I think there are people out there that are trying to help the little princess escape her jail time. by posting these so called death threat’s. face the music Paris and do your time. and quit your sniveling. next time you want to go out and party have your daddy rent you a limo.
ParisGetsWhatSheDeserves says
That little whore brings NOTHING to my “mundane life” – at least until now! Daddy’s money has made her think she is better than EVERYONE ELSE andthat she can do absolutely whatever she wants. “I have people to do that for me”…what a crock of shit. Does she have anyone who’ll go to jail for her? Let that be a lesson, little bitch, that there really ARE consequences for doing the wrong thing. If Paris didn’t have daddy’s money, everyone would simply see her for the road-whore that she is. There is nothing special about her whatsoever. I hope she finds a new “BFF” in jail. Hey – maybe she can bring beauty to all of the prisoners’ mundane lives!!! This is even better than Martha Stewart going to jail!!!!
nitram says
Seeing her imprisoned could provide a touch of beauty and excitement to parts of my life that are “otherwise mundane’.
fred says
You’re right in when you write that not everyone likes Paris Hilton. But, she certainly captures the imagination of many. Check out this video of an imagined Paris Hilton autopsy. http://www.thenewsroom.com/details/286756/Entertainment. This is definitely over the top!
Dee says
Jodi, Paris was DUI the first time she got caught. She then knowingly drove a car whilst suspended. She was caught with her headlights off, which means she’s either very stupid (not really in question) or purposedly trying to avoid being caught. Being a mega-rich socialite she has no excuse whatsover for driving whilst suspended at all! She can easily afford alternative means of transportation. Lets all be honest here, she never thought she would go to jail so she blantantly flouted the law. Now she is being made an example of and why not? If you are famous and very rich the last place you want to go is jail. So she has more to lose than most by breaking the law but she did anyway. Why? Because she has no respect for it or anyone. That is why she deserves to go away.
darline says
Ok everyone think about this-suppose Paris Hilton caused an accident while under suspension? Would we excuse her because she is rich, or because she does not read her mail? Perhaps if she killed some one in the accident, we could send several signed petitions to the grieving family members to remind them of Paris’s role in providing excitement to the boring and otherwise mundane life of their now deceased love one. NO ONE is above the law- not the poor soiled junkie who peddles smack and not some wealthy cum-stained tart who drives without her license.
Jeroen Roland says
To Paris hilton she can better leaving USA country after imprisonment! She leaving USA like Micheak Jackson and begin a new life in Europa in monaco?
Jeroen Roland says
Hello arnold swartsenegger
From e-mail I take matter to busy work and business.
Paris Hilton goes prison you does not have enough time for her. You
work and business
go for! I memory you of Hollywood movie you are a great terrific
arnold swartsenegger!!! Well you can in hollywood movie more do but
as Governor you can nothingness done is possible and can not help
paris hilton reason out of the prison!!! You can people reason with a
machine gun i remember you Hollywood movie you everything do
possible!!! Are you well the real Arnold Schwarzenegger, i think you
are not real Arnold Schwarzenegger!
ned says
I never ever respond to these things, but I found myself here and I must. I feel drawn. Although my responce is in some way related to Paris by virtue of her fans hear at this site, I must say has anyone read the moronic statements made here by her fans. They can’t spell or complete and intelligent sentence. Jodi, I must say that you are ignorant…period. Do you have parents? Has anyone taken the time to teach you? Anything?. Paris Hilton is the child of equally or more so ignorant parents. It’s not her fault at all, but those of an absent set of mom and pop. Having alot of money is great, but it comes with a great deal of responsibility that even her parents ignore. I’m sure they give to charities and I’m sure in their minds everything is ok because of it. Unfortunately, Paris will probably end up like River Phenoix and countless other rich young people who never had parents who really loved them. Mr. and Mrs. Hilton, it’s time to look in the mirror. See what you have created.
Gramozi says
Ej Paris shum po ma qon karin
My heart
James Bond CIA.GOV says
thanks to to Copyright are much video removed by MTV VIACOM or Riaa. Riaa and VIACOM are stupid talk only of protect video by copyright. Viacom are most stupids organization what not cooperate closely Youtube.com daughter company of MTV are VIACOM and threatened with judge to Youtube.com to delete video. But MTV forget that future are Yotube.com and that most younger viewers look to Happy slapping, porno, BALLBUSTING, femdom , mistress ,sm ,KICKED in the BALLS sex en sinister domination, sexual talk, role play. That fault of VIACOM.COM company what not share music! i’m crying for you MTV and VIACOM.COM make or life more sadden!
bob says
u r all wankers like damn why the hell would you sit on a site and talk about parris any way fuck uz are lame like that shoe dude like fuck get a life man shit