There are many reasons to leave the annual NME music awards early – being able to physically see a Kook, for example, or realising that Lauren Laverne is slightly worse at hosting awards shows than some flour – but Kate Moss has her own reasons.
Namely, her dirty-looking tramp of a boyfriend. Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were asked to leave the Shockwaves NME Awards – like The Brits, but for bands your 14-year-old brother likes – early because Pete Doherty was waltzing around with a spoon and tried to have it off with Kate Moss in a toilet. Sadly, the early departure of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty from the NME awards meant that they were unable to see the electrifying climax to the NME awards – when the tubby tit from Kaiser Chiefs said that Muse were good in front of some of The View.
Now, we know how we like our supermodels – we like them to be all divorced and vulnerable like Christie Brinkley or unusually close to Al Pacino like Elle MacPherson. Equally, we know how we don't like our supermodels – we don't like them boat-smashy like Naomi Campbell and we especially don't like them nuzzling up against dirty heroin addicts in such a provocative way that they're forced to leave slightly dirty-looking awards shows like Kate Moss. NME reports:
According to a source who spoke to NME.com on the condition of remaining anonymous, the couple got into trouble after becoming too amorous for the security personel's liking. The source said the loved-up pair were first caught trying to get into the venue's toilets together and were later caught in an alleyway at the back of the building together. The anonymous source said: "Pete and Kate were trying to get into the premises' toilets but they were removed by the bouncers and told to go back to their table. "Later they were both caught in a dark alleyway at the back of the building. So we got their own security guards to put them in a car and take them home."
This is just the latest incident in the never-ending of ultimately unimportant events that have happened to Kate Moss and Pete Doherty in the past. Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have split up and got back together again and sort of not really got married and then sort of not really split up again so many times now that we're sure even the immediate families of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty kind of wish that they'd both just bugger off somewhere and leave everyone alone, so the thought of Pete Doherty and Kate Moss rubbing up against each other in a toilet is just about enough to bring every piece of food we've ever eaten back up into our mouths.
Actually, having said that, if we were given the choice of sitting through the NME awards – like The Brit Awards but full of people desperately pretending not to be excited at thought of being given a bronze-coloured hand by one of Kasabian – or letting Pete Doherty kiss us on the mouth quickly, we'd hold our breath and mutter "Hurry up. And no tongues" too, before running off and scrubbing at our face with a gallon of concentrated bleach and a wire scrubbing brush. Kate Moss, we can kind of see your point. Kind of.
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Pete Doherty And Kate Moss Leave Shockwaves NME Awards Early – NME
Havana says
could have been worse. They could have stayed to the end
lyn brown says
What does the writer mean when he says ” Lauren is slightly worse than some flour”…