Kate Moss Probably Dumps Pete Doherty For The Jillionth Time

Kate Moss Pete Doherty Split DrugsKate Moss and Pete Doherty have a fairytale romance going, or at least they would if there was a fairytale called The Dirty-Looking Bell-End, The Skinny Princess And The Pile Of Drugs Bigger Than A Double Decker Bus – which we're not entirely sure that there is.

Anyway, the news here is that Kate Moss has probably dumped Pete Doherty over his continued drug problem after pictures of him apparently shooting up cocaine were published in several newspapers. Now, the world's most famous supermodel splitting up with her long-term partner over something as illegal and dangerous as a drug addiction would undoubtedly be huge news, if not for the fact that Kate Moss and Pete Doherty appear to be contractually obliged to break up with one another at least once every 15 milliseconds.

The saga of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty is so long and knotty that we can barely bring ourselves to think about it, let alone write about it. But today is different because a) it was either this or an article about Janet Street-Porter pretending to be a nurse and b) Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have totally split up forever, and it's all because – shock horror – Pete Doherty took some drugs.

When Kate Moss first got together with Pete Doherty they were a solid unit, albeit a scabby-looking unit with manky fingernails. Nothing could pull Kate Moss and Pete Doherty apart, except for a big photo of Kate Moss snorting drugs on the front of a newspaper. When that happened Kate Moss split up with Pete Doherty until he quit the drugs, which he half-heartedly tried to do enough until Kate Moss took him back. From thereon in it was all talk of Kate Moss getting pregnant and Kate Moss and Pete Doherty getting married.

But that's where this latest trouble starts. When Kate Moss and Pete Doherty attempted their Thai wedding fakeout it was ostensibly to show the press how clever they were at stringing the media along, although Pete Doherty did tend to use the trip as a way of getting his hands on as many drugs as his pasty body could consume. After a video of him apparently shooting up cocaine was splashed all over the Internet, Kate Moss has decided to take action and dump Pete Doherty. Again. According to MTV, this is what a source close to Kate Moss and Pete Doherty told The Evening Standard:

"Kate is understandably livid about these pictures. That they were taken just two days after their special commitment ceremony simply adds insult to injury. Of course Kate still loves Pete and vice-versa but she's a clever woman and knows that she has got to put her career first. Kate needs to start looking after herself – or at least be seen to be doing so – and has been strongly advised to take some time off from Pete. This means not getting herself photographed with him and certainly no raucous nights out – at least until the fuss has all died down a bit."

So Kate Moss is single again, huh? You know what this means boys – first one to get some genuine Kate Moss hair wins a medal. Go get 'em.

Read more:

Kate Dumps Pete? – MTV  

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Comments

  1. Boris says

    Cover me in month old smeg and ram me repeated against a blunt fence post until it eventually ruptures through my chest and punctures at least two vital organs. For this is what I’d prefer to do rather than watch the world carry on thinking that Pete Doherty is still adding any value whatsoever to society as a whole. Obviously he adds value to his whiney apologists who still claim he’s a major force in British music as a result of his supposedly sensational EP “The Blindin” and I have absolutely no qualms with people maintaining that this was a superb piece of work by a creative genius even though anyone with more than a clutch of operating neurons could see that it sunk rapidly without a trace after briefly causing a storm in a few suburban bedrooms. Elsewhere, though, he’s not much value to anyone bar Thai drug dealers.

    I tell you what though, he’s got an incredible body though, eh? Did you see the muscle tone on that torso of his? People say drugs aren’t good for you, but look at the cracking nick they keep Petey in. Lovely work from the big fella.

    I’d be surprised if Kate hadn’t got herself outside someone else’s phallus by this stage. After all, they’ve been broken up for 48 hours now.

    I’m gonna miss Doherty when he’s gone. Alternatively, I hope he doesn’t die. I hope he ends up packing shelves in Tesco.