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Ah Christie Brinkley. How we loved you when you were a supermodel, then entirely forgot about you for about 20 years and then remembered about you only when your husband shagged a teenager.
After seemingly spending ages mulling over whether to forgive her husband Peter Cook for having it off with a young girl he met in a toy shop loads of times, it's being reported that Christie Brinkley is finally filing for a divorce from him. And the news of the Christie Brinkley/ Peter Cook divorce has deeply affected us, in only the way that news about an old supermodel divorcing some bloke we've never really heard of can.
Christie Brinkley has had several roles in her lifetime – as a supermodel, a sexual ideal for men of a certain age, the inspiration for Billy Joel's Uptown Girl, a wife, a wife again, another wife and yet another wife. But now, following Christie Brinkley's split with her latest husband Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley gets to fulfill the role of scorned woman, and she seems to be loving it.
A quick recap: a few days after Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook were splitting up, it emerged that he had been boning an 18-year-old girl that he met in a toyshop for a couple of years. Then, if that wasn't enough for Christie Brinkley to deal with, the teenage girl – Diana Bianchi – blabbed all about the affair on TV for everyone to see, judge and wonder why Christie Brinkley ever divorced that nice Billy Joel man. At this point, Peter Cook took his increasingly public split with Christie Brinkley to new, bewilderingly desperate heights – by yelling "I'm sorry! Take me back!" to Christie Brinkley on the front page of a newspaper.
It seemed to work, too – reports suggested that Christie Brinkley had sufficiently forgiven Peter Cook enough to actually talk to him. However, it looks like we all spoke too soon, since this is a dramatised version of what we think the Christie Brinkley/ Peter Cook talking might have gone…
Christie Brinkley: I'm divorcing you, you filthy teenager-shagging scumbag pervert motherfucker! You hear that, you son of a bitch? I'm getting a cocking divorce from you, smelly tits!
Peter Cook: OK.
That's right, Christie Brinkley has finally filed for divorce with Peter Cook. Peter Cook's lawyer David Aronson told the Associated Press:
"We are told that a divorce action has been commenced in Suffolk County, and we have agreed to accept service of those papers. [Peter Cook] regrets that this happened. He was hopeful that he and Ms. Brinkley would be able to work their way through this problem and put their marriage back together, but obviously she has decided otherwise. He has instructed us that we are to handle this matter in as amicable and private a fashion as possible under the circumstances, and he hopes that everyone out there can respect the privacy of Christie and the children."
Christie Brinkley's slave Elliot Mintz – sounding relieved that he wasn't bailing out Paris Hilton's drink driving or crappy record sales for once – helpfully had this to say about the Christie Brinkley/ Peter Cook divorce:
"I can neither confirm nor deny it."
Now the messy part of dividing up all of Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook's possessions needs to take place. We might be assuming a little more than we should be here, but we'd imagine that Peter Cook's stockpiles of teenager-friendly lollipops and puppies can stay Peter Cook's.
[story by Stuart Heritage]