Prince William and Kate Middleton are probably the most romantic couple on the planet, so long as your definition of romance at least partially includes 'blasting deer with a shotgun' and 'hacking at deer penises and guts with a knife'.
And, on that basis, Prince William and Kate Middleton are the flipping Romeo and Juliet of killing things that look like famous Disney characters and then removing their four-chambered stomachs, because Prince William has taken Kate Middleton out hunting with Prince Charles. Although Kate Middleton looks like the kind of girl who'd seem more suited to sitting at All Bar One loudly honking a stream of self-important nonsense at her gang of identical friends, royal watchers are now speculating that she'll get engaged to Prince William soon, because deer-hunting tends to infer a royal engagement. Wonderful – we kicked a puppy in the street last week, so on that basis we'll be Crown Prince of Lichtenstein by teatime.
As a future king of England, Prince William can more or less choose anyone to be his girlfriend – as we all know that girls are only too happy to overlook weird inbred faces, unintelligibly slurred aristocratic accents and angry 3am demands for swan sandwiches if it means they'll get to wear a crown and shout at servants some day. But, despite this, it seems as if Prince William has finally settled on Kate Middleton to be his long-term girlfriend. Although Prince William has shown a great deal of responsibility by settling down early with a girl instead of lurching around groping breasts like his brother, titting around like a freakishly awkward Harlem Globetrotter like his Dad or shrieking a near-constant volley of racial abuse at everyone he sees like his grandfather, Prince William's relationship with Kate Middleton hasn't been without its problems.
Just back in April, for example, Prince William and Kate Middleton split up possibly because of how her mother described couches. But that couldn't stop the path of true love, and by June William and Kate were secretly back together again. Since then, Prince William has been helping Kate Middleton integrate herself into royal life, by attending royal birthdays and whining when people take photos of them, but now William has taken Kate out on the most important trip a royal girlfriend can go on – he's taken her for an afternoon out murdering. The Associated Press reports:
Photographs published Sunday of Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton, clad in khaki on a Scottish hunting trip, have rekindled speculation that the pair will soon announce their engagement. British Sunday newspapers ran pictures showing Middleton, 25, on a stag hunting expedition at the royal family's Balmoral estate alongside William's father, Prince Charles. One shows Middleton, in jeans and a camouflage jacket, lying on her stomach as she lines up her rifle for a shot, reportedly at a practise target. The Sunday Telegraph said it was the first time Middleton had been photographed with Charles, "fueling speculation that she is about to become engaged to Prince William."
Those crazy royals – whenever we've wanted to get engaged to people, we haven't forced them to shoot a load of innocent animals; we've found that slapping the Argos catalogue open at the rings section and muttering "There you go. Twenty quid maximum" has approximately an equal success rate. But, hey, that's just how Prince William rolls. It's a different world, you see – by taking Kate Middleton out deer-hunting, Prince William has signalled his intention to marry her, with an engagement announcement expected next year. It's the second-most profound romantic statement that a young royal can make, topped only by a night spent attacking poor people with dogs at a council estate, but that would of course mean that a wedding would take place within the week.
Although the Prince William/ Kate Middleton deer-hunt has angered animal rights groups, it's thought that Kate Middleton didn't actually make a kill. That's not a good sign for the future, and Prince William might now be tempted to look for a new girlfriend whose big deer-startling face doesn't glow bright red like a giant beacon at the first sign of excitement.
Read more:
Prince William's Girlfriend Goes Hunting – The Associated Press
sid vicious says
God save the queen
She ain’t no human being
There is no future
In England’s dreaming
Toufik says
As long as they’re hunting for food and not for fun, it’s alright. If you eat meat then you’re a hypocrite.