One day Prince William is going to be the king of England, so don't be surprised if his first move is to ban any kind of possible camera/ photographer/ motorbike combination that'll stop him getting his knickers in a twist so often.
It'd save a lot of effort, and it'd also mean that Prince William and his big-faced girlfriend Kate Middleton would be able to leave whatever vaguely chavvy nightclubs they liked without throwing temper tantrums because people wanted to take their picture. Prince William is apparently going to sue all the photographers who reportedly 'aggressively pursued' the couple after they left a nightclub early on Friday morning, for fears that Prince William will end up like his mother. No, not a bulimic, weird-haired attention-whore, but dead at the hands of over-zealous paparazzi. To be fair, though, the hair thing is already happening for Prince William a bit.
Maybe it's the centuries of inbreeding, but the royal family do a pretty good job of looking like the world's biggest numpties with stupefying regularity. Basically a gang of swan-chomping ninnies who believe they were picked to rule Britain by God even though all they actually do is attract a couple of busloads of royal-loving Australian pensioners to Buckingham Palace a year and charge everyone in the country for it, there's not a single member of the royal family who most normal people don't want to slap.
Whether it's Little Lord Tittygrope or his Harlem Globetrotter father, the dead Hasselhoff almost-squeeze or the photo shoot Godzilla, the royal family's only role these days is to act as an overprivileged version of Jeremy Kyle – no matter how miserable things get for us, we know we'll never have it quite as bad as those idiots. Or complain about it so bitterly, come to think about it. For instance, after leaving a nightclub, chances are we wouldn't get hounded by motorbike-riding photographers all trying to get a picture of us with our large-faced girlfriend. But it happened to Prince William on Friday morning.
Apparently Prince William and Kate Middleton – the girl who Prince William dumped because her mother said 'lavatory' instead of 'toilet' before he got back together with her in June – were leaving Boujis nightclub on Friday morning when all sorts of photographers started chasing after them. And now Prince William is so angry he wants to jolly well sue the bally lot of them. The Telegraph reports:
Prince William and his girlfriend Kate Middleton are considering legal action against the "aggressive" photographers who hounded them after a visit to a London nightclub. The couple, who have rekindled their on-off relationship, will consult their solicitor, Gerrard Tyrrell, a senior partner with Harbottle & Lewis, which specialises in privacy law. Mr Tyrrell will outline the couple's options, telling them they could take civil action for breaches of their privacy or make a formal complaint to the police and seek to have the photographers prosecuted for harassment and road traffic- offences.
Ironically, of course, this all happened during the first week of the Princess Diana inquest – which is a) a time when the paparazzi is already preparing to get it in the neck and b) the first Princess Diana event of the year not to include a heavy dose of Diddy. So from this we can assume that certain members of the paparazzi are stupid as well as reckless.
But, really, Prince William is going to become king of England. Doesn't that mean he should probably get used to the idea of people wanting to photograph him now and then? Either that or he could, you know, not be king. We're not especially fussed either way because it's not as if the royal family affects anyone's day-to-day life in any meaningful way any more, but – if Prince William is reading this and decides that he'd prefer a normal life – our local branch of Lidl is looking for a cleaner at the moment.
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Phsyt says
Its all so silly. There Royals.. They’re not entitled to privacy, we own them
Gilbert Wham says
Fuck’s sake Physt, don’t let them know they’re a nationalised industry – next thing we know,they’ll all have joined a bloody union. What if they all go on strike? The Express & Mail will fold, commemorative teatowel manufacturers will disappear. It’ll be hell, I tell you.
Viking Lumberjack says
Didn’t he break up with his girlfriend about a year ago?
euclid says
Dr Wham has hit the rivet on the adenoid.
If they strike, and strike they will, paint manufacturers
will suffer, cabbies will doubtless be confused
without the unrelenting pointless traffic jams, and
scores of noble Britons will be deprived of a
surreal verbal exchange with an ornate and waxen facsimile
of humanity involving either horses, gardening
or architecture depending on the select cretin.
As for the photos of young Prince Whatsits,
I do understand his lament. Seeing yourself
in the dailes is enough to put you off your jam
and toast. It’s a digestion issue really.
Might I suggest that in his stead we place
generic photos of 1) Clive Owen, 2) a grapefruit
(mmmm, delicious) or 3) a butt sponge (clean)
to either enhance our appetites or remind us of
his rightful duties to our (erst) great nation.
euclid says
“I say, daughter, dispose of this will you? It smells William.”
Dan says
Trash Paparrazzi article. Trying to be clever at the expense of someone famous again. I’m not even that keen on the royal family, but find that the media should be a bit more responsible.
Tammy says
The village idoit with a paper Burger King crown is more REGAL & ROYAL than the mindless freaks we call the Royal House of Winsor.
Tammy says
Also, I thought that Kate Middleton hates to have her picture taken, but then I must ask why is she always smiling like she just won the golden goose? SHE HAS WON THE GOLDEN GOOSE!!! I’m so sorry. I”m such a idiot. That must mean that I too am ROYAL! Do I get my crown now! HAHAHAHAHA