Princess Diana was the people's princess, wasn't she? Everywhere she went, men fell under her gaze – including David Hasselhoff, who can't seem to stop talking about how Princess Diana wanted to grind him like a windmill.
According to David Hasselhoff, Princess Diana would have slept with him "if circumstances had been different." Presumably he means if David Hasselhoff wasn't an internationally-recognised joke with a phenomenal line in self-delusion and Princess Diana wasn't a bit of a nutter with a weird preoccupation with landmines and having it off with ginger army men.
Divorce can do funny things to a man – just look at David Hasselhoff. It seems like only yesterday David Hasselhoff was happily shacked up with that women who he playfully referred to as "Whore cunt bitch slut drug addict" and jokingly threatening to drive a car through their house at speed while snatching all her jewellery off her dressers, but now that David Hasselhoff is divorced he's a changed man. On the one hand, he's now got more time to stagger about an airport drunk and covered in his own piss, but David Hasselhoff is also joining in the age-old divorced man practice of looking back ruefully at the list of all the women he could have had sex with while he was married.
For most men, the list probably stretches to that slapper barmaid from the local boozer and a female bus conductor who made eye contact with them for more than a second in 1986, but David Hasselhoff has his sights set much higher. According to David Hasselhoff, he could have had sex with Princess Diana if he'd wanted to. According to Femalefirst:
The actor claims when the pair met at a charity event in London, Diana, who was married to Prince Charles at the time, joked to him: "You look much better with your clothes on" to which Hasselhoff replied: "Well Ma'am, so do you." At the launch of his new autobiography 'Making Waves', the former 'Knight Rider' star said: "I felt like she was a little girl caught up in this whirlwind. "She was smitten with me since I was so tall. I was smitten with her since she was so tall. But she was married and so was I. I probably would have gone after her if circumstances had been different."
Obviously there's not much point in speculating what would have happened if David Hasselhoff – the star of a TV show about a talking car, and Princess Diana – a bulimic who was sort of a tiny bit pretty for a member of the Royal family which isn't really saying a lot, had given in to their urges and had it away with each other. Chances are, though, that Princess Diana would have never fallen in love with Dodi Fayed and so she'd still be alive and singing harmony with David Hasselhoff on Jump In My Car and her maternal authority would have stopped Prince Harry from groping that girl's tits like he did. And hopefully nobody would make those nasty porcelain figures of her children, either.
Oh well, these thoughts are best left inside our heads. Well, our heads and the blazing finale to the forthcoming David Hasselhoff musical, where David Hasselhoff and Princess Diana make sweet passionate love in a French tunnel of exploding landmines and injured Wimbledon security guards to the sound of the big showstopper You Done Are The Perdiest Bulimic I Ever Did Meet (Oh Sexy Princess Of My Mind).
Read more:
David Hasselhoff: Princess Di Wanted Me – Femalefirst
[story by Stuart Heritage]
shut up says
SHUT UP! That’s so ridiculous and it is absolutely not true. Honestly, find something better to do than trash the reputation of a good person, let her rest in peace!!
and tidy up says
How do you know she was a good person? Because the media tell you so? Cretin.
Also, Princess Diana had numerous affairs during her marriage, with one even culminating in the birth of Harry.
critical says
were you sure about the credibility of the sources and information of what you’ve read??? your casting of judgment and logic was very ignorant. you have to understand that her affair was because of her personal search of love and happiness and not for mere carnal gratification. it’s easy to say anything but very difficult to prove something. better to keep your mouth shut if your are unsure. it affects the people around who care for her. you shouldn’t be cruel because you did have the people’s affection like she had. also, her achievements and impacts on the lives of people around the world should not be discredited because of her personal search of LOVE while she was still alive, which she was deprived of since childhood.
critical says
her mother who called her “whore” was the real “whore” for leaving her family for a tycoon. wasn’t that clear? would you trust the judgment of such woman? i am not a fool to do so. hope most people won’t.