As much as the royal family provides us with a constant dumbstruck 'oh Christ what have they done now' sense of amusement, it's good to see that the lesser, not really royal, members of the royal family can still keep it together.
We're talking, of course, about Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall and Kate Middleton. On Saturday Camilla will be holding her 60th birthday party at Highgrove, something that no doubt comes as a shock to the vast percentage of the population who thought she was already about 97 years old. Anyway, the big news is that Camilla has invited Kate Middleton – Prince William's on again off again girlfriend – to the party. Kate Middleton's invite to Camilla's party is a profoundly important development within the royal family, with endless potential ramifications for young Kate Middleton, like… um…
Oh look, a young posh woman is going to an older posh woman's party. Can't that be enough for you people?
For a woman who looks like the prematurely-aged offspring of three horses, Sarah Jessica Parker, Audrey Roberts off Coronation Street and the evil god out of Equus, Prince Charles' wife Camilla has sure done well for herself. Not only has Camilla wedged her feet under the royal table to such an extent that she probably only eats the fattened livers of crying orphans for breakfast, but she's also managed to fend off the sexual advances of Rod Stewart on more than one occasion. Plus she's married to an emotionally-stilted man who wrongly thinks that awkwardly playing basketball in Harlem is 'street'.
Anyway, since Prince Charles' first wife got a birthday party this year consisting of an enormous all-star concert at Wembley Stadium even though she's dead, the least that Camilla deserves is a birthday party of her own, albeit a birthday party with 310 times less people in attendance and a guest of honour that's Joanna Lumley instead of Diddy. But, hey, at least Kate Middleton – the girl who Prince William shockingly dumped and then less shockingly got back together with – has been invited to Camilla's bash, as The Telegraph reports:
There was mounting speculation last night that Prince William had rekindled his romance with Kate Middleton after a royal source revealed he had invited her to the 60th birthday party of his stepmother, the Duchess of Cornwall…The duchess, who turned 60 on Tuesday, was said to be keen that Miss Middleton, 25, be invited to Saturday's celebration. The final decision, however, was left to Prince William… Miss Middleton is currently on holiday with friends in the Caribbean, but is said to be hopeful she will make it back in time.
And you know what? Kate Middleton should cut short her Caribbean holiday to go and eat organic food in a room full of old people, for the simple reason that Prince Harry will be too busy with army stuff to go, so this is one of the rare royal functions that Kate Middleton can attend without fear of having her boobs groped by a ginger fool in a stupid hat.
But as for what actually happens at Camilla's 60th birthday party, we guess we'll never know. Camilla isn't letting anyone film the event. Admittedly that's because the BBC would probably unfairly edit it to make it look as if Camilla took a machete and hacked all of her guests to death with it before rolling around in the blood and smearing herself with cake, but that's another story.
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caroline says
Jealous, much? I’m guessing you didn’t get an invite, then.