Being Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend must be horrible – you’d be constantly fighting the urge to slap Billy Ray Cyrus’ silly face every time you saw it.
In fact, 15-year-old Miley Cyrus has got quite the wishlist when it comes to her boyfriends. Firstly you can’t be intimidated by Miley Cyrus’ fame and wealth. Secondly you have to be as gormlessly God-fearing as she is. And thirdly, if you’re so much older than her that it’s a little bit creepy and you use your body as a sexual object for a living, then that’s great too.
So, with that in mind, say hello to Miley Cyrus’ new boyfriend – he’s Justin Gaston, he’s 20 years old and he’s an underwear model. If this hasn’t ended in tears by this time next year, then we’re afraid we’ll have to go away and question everything we thought we knew about the universe.
There was always one girl at school with a boyfriend who was much older than her, wasn’t there. And he was always a bit creepy looking, covered from head to toe in coldsores, had a logic-defying speech impediment, smelt like dirty petrol and was basically an episode of Jeremy Kyle in the making.
Now, we’re obviously not comparing Miley Cyrus to the girl from school just because she’s got an older boyfriend. That would be ridiculous. Miley Cyrus doesn’t even go to school.
But apart from that, who knows. You see, Miley Cyrus has found love with a chap called Justin Gaston. And it seems like they’re still at that adorable stage where they’re just finding out their differences. For instance, Justin Gaston is old enough to vote and Miley Cyrus isn’t even old enough to drive, Justin Gaston has brown hair and Miley Cyrus’ hair is closer to auburn, Justin Gaston is an adult and Miley Cyrus is a child. You know, stuff like that. It’s romantic.
But despite all these many, many superficial differences, Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston do share a couple of very important things in common. Firstly, their love of music is profound and almost spiritual and if flows throw them like the essence of life itself. And secondly, they both love jigging around in their pants for photographers.
Miley Cyrus you know about – she’s worn an inappropriately small amount of clothes on the cover of a glossy magazine and more internet photos than you can shake a stick at. But Justin Gaston does it just as much, too – he’s an underwear model, you know.
How has Billy Ray Cyrus responded to the news that his 15-year-old little girl has started seeing a 20-year-old who never wears any trousers? Simple – he’s dragged everyone down to church, as People reports:
On Sunday, Justin Gaston, a model and aspiring country singer, attended church in Pasadena, Calif., with the Hannah Montana star and her family. According to Cyrus’s rep, Gaston, 20, is “a friend from Nashville… He’s visiting L.A. for the week.” A source close to Miley says, “They’ve been spending a lot of time together while he’s in town.”
Of course church is the best place to take Miley and Justin. Everybody knows that taking your little girl’s older boyfriend to church is the best way to keep everyone on the straight and narrow. Unless your daughter is Jamie Lynn Spears or Bristol Palin, that is, but let’s ignore them.
We will say one thing to Justin Gaston, though – don’t you dare go round playing with little Miley Cyrus’ heart. Not because we’re worried that you’ll upset her, you see. It’s just, if you do, she’s easily rich enough to have you killed.
yasmin says
your dum really
you got to stop that crap
Brenda says
Wow, your article really sucked. It’s not just creepy older guys who like to date younger girls…. that’s called having hormones. It’s pretty normal for teenagers to have ragging hormones. Maybe you’re the creepy one. As for her dad taking them to church… what is wrong with that? It may or may not work, but at least it’s worth a try. What is he supposed to do hand her some condoms and tell her it’s okay? And what’s with the cheap shots at Palin’s daughter and Jamie Lynn? There are a lot of other teenagers out there who get pregnant and then have an abortion to cover it up, and we never know about it. Maybe they would benefit by going to church, and maybe you would to. At least Bristol and Jamie are taking responsibility for their actions.
Maggie says
i agree with brenda! billy ray wasnt just going to hand her condoms! plus if miley were to follow in the foorsteps of jamie-lynn and bristol her boyfriend would be charged! i think billy ray knew what he was doing when he introduced justin to miley. he seems like a pretty protective father and she loves him to much to go against him!
Rae says
I believe this article says a lot … it’s kind of creepy to have a 20-year-old boyfriend for a girl who’s not even legal – church wise or not, that’s just sucking up!
She may have raging hormones, but I for one, don’t approve raging hormones and 20-year-olds. God knows where that’ll end up.
The Magnificent Faggot says
Hey Billy Ray, you know that daughter of your-un? I call dibs on that shit! Know what I’m sayin’? Yes, you do!
jalleela says
hay i like mily cyrus so all yall people need to stop hattin on her i mean all yall little chicken head girls be havin boufriends that could yall daddy but hay dont nobody be sayin shit about yall so stop talkin about her and for the record half of all the boys that be tryna halla at hesr shit they be fine.
Dar'Nysha says
im 15 years old and whould love to be a actress on disney channel do you know how many people would.you said follow your dreams but you got most of little girls dream.people look up to you and adore you and thats not enough attention for you. there alot behind these wild crazy stories and im not one to usually believe them but those pictures you took of yourself are still not convincing because most people take pictures like that but those videos are something else.anyways people also need to understand that everyone falls and needs time to get back up!
[email protected]
jordan says
she looks like she’s mad at jackson ( hannah montana)
Haylie Tieben says
Miley i have been so disappointed with you because of the profanity. your a liar. its a perfectly good thing that your dad is checking out the guys you date. taking them to church,BRAVO!! i think that you couldn’t care less about God. and if you dated everyone you met then you would be livin sex i the city, bedroom, car’s back seat and so on. this stuff you do is not being a good roll model for anyone. my sister is 7 and looks up to you and you pull this crap. your a good actor and singer, so am i. i know the stress of school and people. plus keeping up wit music. i am only 14 and live in indiana. but wether you are famous or a common person living in a small town, God cares for you either way. i hope you read this cause your screwing up your life:-(
alison says
hey miley you and your boyfrineds is so cazy
DEZHANEA says
SHE SHOULD NOT GO OUT WITH ANY BODY CAUSE SHE ALREADY GAY IM NOT HATING BUT COME ON MILEY AVAN REALLY LETS GET REAL HERE SHE IS CHEATINT AND SO IS AVAN YOU SAW HIM KISSING VICTORA ON THE LIPS AND YOU ARE WITH CHRIS BROWN PUNK DUM RETART.
DEZHANEA says
THAT DONT GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HER BEING GAY PUNK
DEZHANEA says
YOU GO GIRL IM SO PROUD YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE MY BFF
Miley cyrus says
ok, im so sorry that I, miley cyrus upset you but Im not giving up avan cause all of you want me to that nothing for you to worry about. so let me tell the truth,Im gay and I hate black people and my family does cause’ we are races so what but stay away from avan im mrs. jogia
Miley cyrus says
hay hay you are my biggest fan but you have won 5 tikets to my consert on saturday. come to my concert and I’ll bet i will be there please come alison
love miley cyrus