Heather Mills has really turned her public image around by appearing on Dancing With The Stars – now, instead of hating her and thinking she's a deluded gold digger, the public loves to see Heather Mills doing complicated one-legged dancing.
But that's the public. Passengers on a London-bound Virgin flight from LA don't count as the public. So when Heather Mills decided to try and cheer up her fellow entertainment-strapped air travellers by frantically tangoing up and down the length of the plane like an attention-seeking toddler at a stage-school tryout, she got roughly the same reaction as your elderly uncle did that time he stood up to tell a joke at a wedding, then forgot the punchline, dropped his trousers, threw up and started crying.
Appearing on a television show all about dancing has done the world of good for Heather Mills. Prior to Dancing With The Stars, Heather Mills was constantly derided for her apparent gold digging, the way that she's an animal rights activist who wears fur coats and all that bloody pig-pointing she does.
But ever since Heather Mills did a back-flip on Dancing With The Stars, the public loves her enough to forget about all the requests for £10,000 a day from Paul McCartney – now it phones Heather Mills up to yammer about how brilliant she is all the time.
But all this Heather Mills love apparently doesn't stretch to people she shares aeroplanes with. This week Heather Mills was on a flight from LAX to London; a flight that – thanks to a freak power-surge at the airport – left everyone onboard without any in-flight entertainment for the duration of the 10-hour journey. And that's where Heather Mills comes in.
After an introduction from the captain, Heather Mills and her Dancing With The Stars partner Jonathan Roberts pounded out from behind a curtain and ballroom danced up and down the aeroplane to the bemusement of everyone else. Fashion writer and fellow passenger Henry Conway told Metro:
"Heather suddenly appeared with her dance partner and rushed down premium economy doing a dance. We were at the end of our tether after flying through the night with nothing to keep us occupied. We'd all lost our sense of humour. We were stunned and moved our legs out of the way, just in case they got caught up in the frenzy. It was really surreal. We didn't know what to do because there was no music and we were all mid boredom. It was really awkward because when they finished, no one clapped as we were all in such a bad mood."
That might seem like a harsh reaction to you, but imagine that you were sitting in a metal tube suspended 30,000 feet in the air with none of the usual diversions to help you forget about the likelihood of you smashing into the sea in an elongated fiery moment of shrieking terror. Now imagine that Paul McCartney's annoying stab-victim wife is hoofing up and down the aisles doing a cha cha cha and thinking that she's doing you a favour as well. Would you clap? Would you?
But let's all be thankful that at least Heather Mills had her Dancing With The Stars skills to fall back on, otherwise there's a huge chance that she'd have instead tried to entertain the passengers by rubbing whipped cream onto her knockers and walking around licking everyone's complementary red jelly penises.
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