Heather Mills might be embroiled in a bitter stabby divorce with millionaire Beatle Paul McCartney, but not even that can stop Heather Mills from yammering on about her two biggest loves – dancing for cash and pointing at pigs in crates.
Heather Mills has a lot to talk about at the moment, and there's a lot we want Heather Mills to talk about – so it's a shame that the two don't really overlap at any point. While the majority of the public wants Heather Mills to talk about whether Paul McCartney really did go mental and stab her in the arm with a wineglass before claiming ownership of her breasts or not, Heather Mills seems content to a) carp on about all the spare legs she'll need for Dancing With The Stars and b) make farmers angry by breaking into their property and pointing at a pig in a crate.
Heather Mills has never been as famous as she is now – she's even more famous than when she replaced her clothes for dairy products and gelatine-based bondage gear for that German sex magazine. But Heather Mills' fame isn't the good "Hooray! Heather Mills chased J-Lo about in a big telly!" sort of fame, it's the bad "Boo! We all literally want to see harm done to Heather Mills!" sort, which probably isn't as nice.
Things are stacked against Heather Mills to an extraordinary degree at the moment; if the Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce and apparent claims for £10,000 every day didn't damage Heather Mills' credibility enough then the recent pictures of Heather Mills in a mink coat certainly did. But Heather Mills is nothing if not a fighter, and she's taking all this public backlash on the chin the only way she knows how – by talking incessantly about herself until the end of time.
Although Heather Mills isn't discussing her divorce with Paul McCartney – meaning that we don't know her side of the stabby stabby claims yet, or what she thinks about Rod Stewart – Heather Mills is more than happy to talk about anything else. Like Dancing With The Stars, for example. You'll remember that Heather Mills signed up for Dancing With The Stars to a) prove her worth as a celebrity in her own right and b) satisfy the public need for seeing a woman's prosthetic limb fall off, and this is what CNN reports Heather Mills as saying about the show:
"If I was worried about critics, then I wouldn't do anything in my life, because this is the first thing I've done for 10 months and I've been chased and hounded for 10 months and told that I'm a publicity seeker. Yes, I've got an artificial leg, yes, I'm going to dance, yes, I'm going to do the best I can, and hopefully it will inspire people. It won't come off. As much as everyone would love it to go flying, I'm sure it's not going to come off."
And really appearing on Dancing With The Stars is a brave move for Heather Mills, who claims her motivation for the show is to prove that anybody can overcome a problem in order to fulfil their dreams. Especially if that dream includes breaking into a farm at midnight and pointing at a pig in a crate. Because Heather Mills has been doing that too, as The Sun reports:
Heather Mills broke into a PIG FARM to highlight alleged animal cruelty, it emerged last night. Lady Mucca crept in under cover of darkness with a team of activists from vegetarian group Viva! to draw attention to the pigs’ “plight”. But last night her stunt threatened to backfire when the farm’s owner accused them of making his pigs SICK by bringing in disease… Mucca targeted the compound in Somerset two weeks ago to expose farrowing crates — which are narrow pens used to house sows while they give birth and nurture their piglets… Mucca insists she is doing nothing illegal — but owner Michael Underhill fumed: “I intend to take legal action.”
Again, we can't find fault in anything that Heather Mills has done here. Yes, there might be a possibility that Heather Mills broke the law by trespassing onto the farm in the first place, but farrowing crates are unmistakeably cruel. Pigs shouldn't be hemmed into tiny crates during their lives, they should be out chasing Victoria Beckham around a school the way nature intended.