Not being able to cover basic living expenses is awful – we should know, and all we need each day is a new plastic bag roof for our cardboard shelter and three individual Space Raiders – so imagine how Heather Mills feels; she needs £10,000 every day.
In a new – although somewhat unsurprising – twist to the already interminable Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce, Heather Mills is said to be considering an offer of a quickie divorce, but only on the condition that Paul McCartney gives her £3.5 million every year until she's racked up £40 million. That works out at £10,000 a day, which is what Heather Mills claims she needs just to get by. It sounds like a lot of money, but it doesn't come cheap if – like Heather Mills – you want to diamond-coat your entire body to protect you from future elderly millionaire husbands stabbing you in the arm repeatedly with a sawn-off wineglass in a drug-fuelled rage because you're so fucking annoying.
Sometimes, just sometimes, we feel a little bit sorry for Paul McCartney – and that mainly boils down to three key reasons. 1) Paul McCartney looks exactly like a little old lady, 2) Every time Paul McCartney writes a song he probably thinks "Well THAT's not as good as She's Leaving Home" which must get a bit irritating after the first three decades and 3) Heather Mills.
Up until Paul McCartney split up with Heather Mills he was mainly known for being the kindly old Beatle who occasionally sang songs to passing astronauts, but that's all changed in the wake of the divorce. Now Heather Mills would have you believe that Paul McCartney is a petty lock-changer, a drunken titty-owning wineglass stabber and a man who domestically abuses the dead. Heather Mills' claims haven't gone down especially well – Stella McCartney wants to kill her, Rod Stewart wants to fight her and she's been the subject of a handful of death threats – but they have meant that Heather Mills might get a bigger divorce payout.
Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce settlement rumours are nothing new – depending on who you believe, Heather Mills has been offered £121 million and £32 million deals – but now that the Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce has hit the High Court a newer figure has come to light. Apparently Heather Mills wants £10,000 every day from Paul McCartney, as This Is London reports:
Heather Mills is considering a quickie divorce with a minimum cash payout of £3.5 million a year. Mills, 39, has calculated the amount after drawing up a list of her annual cash commitments and says she needs the money to "get by". But Sir Paul looks set to reject the offer, claiming he is not worth as much as everyone thinks he is. One of the singer's friends said: "It's amazing. When you consider her humble beginnings, £10,000 a day is a phenomenal sum to cover her needs. It's as much as some Premiership footballers earn. Many people have to work a year for what she wants to bank in a day. Heather is making extremely large demands considering the brevity of the marriage.
Now, several people will say that Heather Mills is making outlandish demands by asking for £10,000 every single day, but being the most hated Beatle wife of all time is an expensive job. Initially Heather Mills thought she could achieve it by simply signing up for Dancing With The Stars and jigging around to Mull Of Kintyre in a deliberately spazzy way, but now that Yoko Ono has gained a modicum of sympathy by being injected with poison by that creepy driver guy, Heather Mills needs a fast investment to seize upon the advantage, and £10,000 a day will go a long way to funding the proposed Heather Mills-sanctioned 'You Like The Beatles So Eff Off' campaign of orphanage-torching and pony-mutilating.