Aside from telling everyone that the third-best Beatle kept stabbing her – and clip-clopping around ill-judged reality TV shows – Heather Mills has made her name by being the world's most furious one-legged animal rights campaigner.
In the wake of her turbulent divorce proceedings with Paul McCartney, however, not even Heather Mills' reputation as a crusader for animal welfare has gone undamaged. Recently-published photos from 18 years ago showing Heather Mills swanning around in a coat made out of 40 dead minks have raised questions about the authenticity of Heather Mills' campaigning. It's OK, though, because Heather Mills only wore the mink coat because it belonged to her recently-deceased mother. Typical, Heather Mills wears a mink coat and gets away with it, but when one of our relatives dies and we stroll around town in their dentures, negligee and colostomy bag, we get arrested for making all the children cry. It's political correctness gone mad.
In her time, nobody did more for animal rights than Heather Mills. Heather Mills was always on the case, hunting down whichever animal rights atrocity would attract the most photographers and then going there and looking concerned. Be it rolling around on some ice with a seal that eventually bit her, writing confusing letters about how supermodels all live in sheds or chasing Jennifer Lopez around wearing a great big TV, nobody could doubt Heather Mills' dedication to animal rights.
But now all of that has been called into question, since an old photograph of Heather Mills wearing a huge mink coat to a wedding in 1989 has been published in newspapers. This has caused some commentators to call Heather Mills' truth-telling skills into question – if she can lie about hating mink coats, they reason, she can lie about getting stabbed about by Paul McCartney – and if she can lie about that then Heather Mills probably doesn't deserve £10,000 every day in her divorce settlement. But Heather Mills says that she doesn't care what other people say – she's proud to have worn that mink coat. Writing on her website, Heather Mills says:
The coat belonged to my mother, who had sadly died just a few days earlier and I wore it because it made me feel close to her. I am not ashamed I wore it. At the time I was not a vegetarian and was not an anti fur campaigner. I was extremely young and was not aware of the issues surrounding the fur trade. I gave up eating meat for health reasons when I lost my leg. I became an anti fur trade campaigner when I met Paul because he was passionate about it and when he explained the issues of cruelty and endangered species, and I looked into it myself, I felt he was right.
So maybe this once we should go easy on Heather Mills. After all, the pictures were taken almost two decades ago, and she's since learnt the error of her ways. It's not as if Heather Mills was a campaigner against badly-permed women who pose in German sex books with their breasts covered in whipped cream while licking a naked man on his red jelly penis, because then we probably wouldn't be so cool with it.
So lay off Heather Mills, because if she gives up the animal rights campaigning, you know who'll take her place? Sadie Fucking Frost, that's bloody well who.