With Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows not being published for another four agonising days, Harry Potter fans worldwide are champing at the bit to discover exactly how Hagrid, Herimone and Harry Potter meet their messy ends.
Up until now the wait for Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows has been so excruciating that many Harry Potter fans have been forced to develop addictions to hard drugs just to have something else to think about than whether or not Harry Potter gets killed by a deathly hallow or whatever. But now the wait appears to be over, with claims that a copy of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows has been leaked online. Of course, hecklerspray cannot condone the illegal downloading of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows prior to its release date because a) illegal downloading is both illegal and unethical and b) it's Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows for God's sake. What are you, a child?
Here's a word of advice – don't bother going out on Saturday. Just stay in bed watching Columbo films on Channel Five. Because if you do go out, chances are that Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows will assault you from every angle. Don't believe us? Cast your mind back two years to when Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince was published – you literally couldn't move for posters advertising the book, queues of people waiting to buy the book and – worst of all – children walking into your legs because they were too busy reading the book to see where they were going. Imagine that but with Heelies – that's what Saturday is going to be like.
The hype for Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows has been so overwhelming that there isn't much we don't already know about it. For instance, we've been made aware that Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows has been printed 12 million times in America and has got gigantic preorders in the UK. We know that JK Rowling cried when she finished writing Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows and we know that the climax of the book is pretty karate-heavy. Oh, and we also know that JK Rowling will write more Harry Potter books when all of her new ventures fail, too. But what about the actual content of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows?
Well, despite JK Rowling pleading with people not to spoil the story of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, rumours have slowly been leaking out. Some people say that Harry Potter will die, while other people are sure that Hermione dies. But now none of that speculation matters because the National Post is claiming that a copy of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows has been leaked online, with someone called Byron Ng claiming to have downloaded it:
Ng said he went online and found what appeared to be the novel's first few paragraphs mentioned in an article that appeared Sunday in The Guardian, based in the U.K. He used that information to Google and find the rest of the novel. He found that someone had posted what appeared to be first 495 pages of the 794-page book on a peer-to-peer sharing website where directions to pirated movies and other material are located. So he downloaded it too. "It is not an e-book or Word file, which is what people would normally do," he said. "What some guy did was take pictures of it, 500 little files, each with a picture of a page. Someone took the trouble to do that."
Apparently the leaked online copy of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows had been downloaded 507 times by last night, which leaves us in a bit of a quandary. Although it's funny to see someone burst the bubble of self-important high-security secrecy surrounding Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – which, let's remember, is just a children's book about a titting wizard – those people that have downloaded the leaked Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows copy deserve a thumping too. After all, if you can't wait four poxy days to find out whether an imaginary schoolboy wizard can beat a noseless Ralph Fiennes with a magical stick or not, you're far, far beyond help. You people make us sick.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to finish chapter two of The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Read more:
flierpa says
must. have. hardcore. crack. until. friday.
Harry Potter says
pg. 56 – hedwig by some death eaters
pg. 78 – mad-eye moody by some death eaters
pg. 470 – peter pettigrew by voldemort
pg. 476 – dobby (the house elf) by bellatrix
pg. 634 – crabbe by his own fire
pg. 637 – fred weasley by unidentified death eater
pg. 657 – severus snape by nagini
pg. 700 – lupin is alluded to being dead; i guess i missed his death
pg. 744 – voldemort by his avada kedavra bouncing off; something about an Elder Wand and the Deathly Hallows
vergil says
its not just one torrent pages 1-495 are in a 45 mb rar file and the rest is in a 26 mb file. so not half but the whole book has been leaked……………
DracoJaneGranger says
What?! this cant possible be right it’s out on Saturday – i mean every one has thier suspitions but to leak it! NAH NO WAY!
potter rotter says
It is official, I d/l a copy of the book, it is a photography of every page. 759 pages. As tempted as I am to spoil it for everyone who are so obsessed with this book…….I won’t.
RT says
You obviously dislike the Harry Potter books Stuart Heritage, so i am interested 2 know….have u actually read them????
Daniel says
I am completely disgusted by your mode of adress to the public,and it astounds me that one such as youserlf could actually become a writter with an attitude like yous. It is your job to report and express your opinion to the public. It is however, NOT, your job to insult your readers. If you do not enjoy the book, as you obviously dont, then kindly say “It is not the type of book that I would go for.” Instead of calling a lot of people “Sick” and say that they disgust you.
What disgusts me most, is your report.
Only one offended person
gemma mckitterick says
so who dies then?
Liam Morrison says
Daniel you fuking arse wipe shut your fat geeky fuking trap you little cunt.
Just because you were bullied you act a gimp. fuck off before i break you like i broke in your mum.
lick my fuking tits you nob jockey.
Dorian says
Dear Liam Morrison,
I am very sorry for you. You should seek immediate help.
My condolences.
L!@M says
Ok! Liam, just coz he’s on thenerdy side doesn’t mean you have to insult him like that. (besidesI wouldn’t waste your breath on such a frieky swat) Just one rude word will do.
U dont need to noe who i am says
Whoa!
Liam Morrison person I think u shud chill a bit
get up
go pour a jug of water on ur head
Hoping u feel betta
alexis says
liam shut up before I kick your ass back to high shcool
Fernando says
Its the best book i ever READ!!!!!!!!!!!!
KillaByte says
liam Shut the Fuck up before i get your ip adress and hunt u down to shove a golden spike where your union meets your central pacific!!!!
KillaByte says
Shut The fuck up or I am gonna shove a gun up your ass
GinnyWeasley says
Mistake! Peter Pettigrew was killed by PETER PETTIGREW. He accidentally killed himself with that silver hand
Hula la says
you guys should not be saying those things
my name is your name. says
Deathly Hallows is the best book EVER written.
Lunalover says
This book takes you on a journey throughout a completley different world. The feelings you experience while reading are unexplainable. I will never feel the same way reading a book then i did when i read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I would do anything just to read it from the beginning as a new book over and over again. It is truly beautiful.
faiz says
it was very cool and the best book ever.I read
Taha says
how can i read the book online 4 free.
Is that really u daniel radcliffe
nanda says
what u said is correct.i luv harry potter verymuch and i luv emma very very much
I Kill You says
I no I It is so awesome I am Reading it right now!!!
I Kill You says
You No I am reading this book right now to so it is so awesome
I Kill You says
I no How Can you read the book online i am trying to find out to
I Kill You says
You shouldnt right that stuff online u no
RONN WEAASLY says
How do you know all this?
Laurie says
noooo. voldemort gave him the hand, and it turned on him when he failed voldie. so voldemort killed him. or his hand did, i guess.
Katie says
OH MY GOD CHILL THE FRICK OUT!!!
Pay Attention says
Wrong you numbskulled dipshit! Pettigrew died because, when Voldemort gave Peter back his hand when he resurrected Voldemort via the gaveyard scene, he was oblivious to the fact that Voldemort also put a curse on the replacement limb so that if Pettigrew had any type of reform from the darkarts, Voldemorts orders, or anything purely evil, toward the good side, the hand would kill him instantly. He obviously did, and so he died because of ‘Voldemort’.
Christ, re-read the book since I’m pretty sure after reading that fail of an attempt at a basic understanding of a single death-scene, you probably think Voldemort turned good and road off into the sunset riding a pony. Dumbfuck.
non of yours says
you guys do know this is a book any way you’ll prob be looking for the leaked movie you bunch of nerds get your arses out side and kick a ball (not a quaffle)
non of yours says
hey ‘killabite’ why dont you cast a spell on him you weirdo i think you are the type of kid that gets picked on at school so you like to go on the net and swear at people to look tuff oooooo big hero you are forget harry potter we’ve got killa bite the heroic arse lol you stupid dumbshit
HarryPotterSagaMovies says
And now we are waiting for the final chapter in a movie. I hope the film won’t dissapoint us. November is already quite near. I made a website for also.
lauren says
The Deathly Hallows is NOT a child’s book. It’s the greatest book ever written.
GOD says
ur 3 years of a reply late girl lol
SharmayneLovesHP says
OMG OMG OMG.
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS MOVIE PART 1 WAS AWESOME.
IT BLEW MY SOCKS OFF! XD
sandhya says
suppppppppperrrrrrrbbbbbbbbbbbb!
sandhya says
it is simply super
can t stop reading it
excellent work j k rowling