Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – the final Potter book – is less than three months away, and already JK Rowling is getting anxious over the idea of someone reading the book's last page, seeing that Harry Potter dies and blabbing it to everyone.
And that's why JK Rowling has launched a preemptive Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows spoiler-disarming offensive, saying that the last thing she wants is for someone to go around yammering about Harry Potter's ultimate fate on the internet and spoiling it for everybody else. However, JK Rowling also made it perfectly clear that she didn't include you in that, and that you are still perfectly within your rights to line up for hours outside a bookshop on the evening of the Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows release just for the momentary thrill of being able to run to the bookshelves at midnight, open a copy of the book at the last page and shout "Oh no! Harry Potter dies!" loud enough for all the children to start crying. JK Rowling said that you could do that, but only you.
We'll regret saying this in ten weeks when we can't even open our eyes without being assaulted by all kinds of shoddy opportunistic Harry Potter press and merchandise, but should there be more fuss made about Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows right now? Yes, we know that every morsel of Deathly Hallows factette – from the gormless book-naming game to how many copies of Harry Potter 7 have been printed – has been turned into an important screaming newspaper headlines, but it all just seems a little subdued at the moment.
We get the impression that Harry Potter overlord JK Rowing may be partly responsible for this lack of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows excitement. Before the publication of the previous instalment, Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, hype reached such a peak that everyone was able to guess that Dumbledore died before the book was even published, thus ruining the surprise for millions of children and adults who haven't got onto reading grown-up books yet. And yet that speculation has been dwarfed by rumours that Harry Potter will die at the end of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows.
Obviously if word got out that Harry Potter did die at the end of the forthcoming book, JK Rowling wouldn't make as much money the reading experience would be ruined for everyone – so that's why JK Rowling has taken to the internet again. Not to complain about thin people again, or to tell more interesting stories about paper, but to plead with everyone to not spoil the ending of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows after a Harry Potter fansite did the same. On her website, JK Rowling wrote:
The Leaky Cauldron's early mission statement on spoilers (ie, don't, and we're not putting them up if you do) is deeply appreciated by yours truly…. I add my own plea to Melissa's for one reason, and one only: I want the readers who have, in many instances, grown up with Harry, to embark on the last adventure they will share with him without knowing where they are they going… There will always be sad individuals who get their kicks from ruining other people's fun, but while sites like Leaky take such an active stance against them, we may yet win.
Yeah, you hear that? No spoilers! No Harry Potter spoilers are to be revealed at all! Unless, you know, you're JK Rowling – in which case you can release the clue-heavy Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows cover art months before the book comes out and also yak about characters dying until the end of time in order to drum up hype for a book that's going to sell a billion copies anyway.
So remember kids, don't spoil the ending of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows by leaving spoilers in the comments section of hecklerspray the second the book comes out. It won't just be millions of children you upset, but also obscenely wealthy authors who take themselves just a little bit too seriously. And we don't want that, do we?
Read more:
Viking Lumberjack says
It’s so easy to figure out what’s going to happen, who needs spoilers? Consider this: The title is “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”. First, it’s obviously going to have Harry Potter. Second, it’s obviously going to have some Deathly Hallows, whatever the hell those are. Let’s figure this out together. Here’s what a dictionary has to say about the word “hallow”:
1. to make holy; sanctify; consecrate.
2. to honor as holy; consider sacred; venerate: to hallow a battlefield.
So, translated, the title is “That Naked Kid That Pokes Horses in the Eyes and the Stabby Holiness”. Concluding from the obvious, they’ll have a crossover and his parents and Dumbledore will come back as consecrated glowing white unicorns, and Harry will strip and stab them in the eyes, and then Voldemort will show up and because Harry’s wand isn’t in his hand (you figure that one out), he’ll kill them all and resurrect them as zombie unicorns and a naked Daniel Radcliff zombie.
Then, according to 90% of fan fiction, Snape and Hermione will get married and do all sorts of horrible pedophilic acts, possibly with Crookshanks and Fizzing Whizbees thrown into the mix.
Then J.K. Rowling will get a big vault filled with gold and try to jump in it and swim around like Scrooge McDuck, only to realize too late that you can’t swim in fucking gold, and will break her head harder than zombie Christopher Reeve trying to jump a fence on a zombie unicorn. I like zombies.
The plot so obvious. I mean, DUH!
fatty says
what that guy said
Jalen says
Don’t hate. Appreciate!
No, but I’m being serious. What is all this? A scorn-fest? It had me laughing, but what, in truth, is the big problem? I bet you’ve never actually read Harry Potter. Just to have you know, spoiling DOES in fact ruin what was and WILL be one hell of an exciting ride. JKR is only trying to protect her readers. Deathly Hallows is the final book, and should NOT under any circumstances be ruined.
So shut up. You’re just jealous, anyway. xD
P.S—- There is one entirely OBVIOUS answer to the spoiling problem that I’ve not heard anyone say. If you don’t want to find out what happens too early, lock yourself in a room away from all people and media until you’ve read it for yourself. It’s as simple as that!
Oh good grief says
I LOVE SPOILERS!!! Hey, I was on the internet the day before Half Blood Prince came out and there was a guy who had read it (worked in a book shop) and was telling folks what happened chapter by chapter – it was GREAT! – until the Scholastic goons came and scared him off – I still went to the midnight book release party and fully enjoyed reading the book – it did not ‘ruin’ anything – if folks don’t want to know what happens, don’t get on the internet on the sites where we are taking about it -especially when it say in really big letters SPOILERS – most people who read spoilers still read the book, so it doesn’t hurt sales, we read them by choice, so we don’t need ‘protection’ from them – I say bring them on!!!
Rebecca says
Well i agree with rowling, because even when the whole world claimed that neville was the half blood prince it wasn’t true,
A lott f people think that snape wasn’t that bad in the end, that there is some kind of misunderstanding on harry side and that dumbledore magically will come back to live again, or even stronger that he never died, well
I think it’s no use, more that 95% of all the speculations is not true! so we shouldn’t believe any, of coarse if every one keeps throwing up new ideas about th book’s ending one of them is bound to contain some truth, but it really isn’t a spoiler because no one knows wich one is the true spoiler and which one is fake
We all can say atthe end o i already knew this was going to happen because i read it somewhere, but we never can be certain, we only know by example that there is a help line installed for everyone who is disturbed by spoilers, the ending of the book ( by example when in the 6 th book dumbledore died) etc, but all we can do is wait
Ow and yeas, i think the most theory are quite ridiculise, of course it is fun to be guessing and giving idea’s but most of them are wrong anyways,
Ps i love Harry Potter!
charles coloma says
know what? it’s people like YOU who are just PLAIN jealous of rowling’s wealth and popularity that’s ruining everything for potter fans by putting up blogs like this showing your deep hate for the thing… but there’s one moral lesson i’ve been taught that will apply perfectly to all of you (yes, you and those claiming they have read the final book and goes around the net spoiling everyone’s mood), IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, JUST SHUT UP!!!!
it’s just so pathetic, those socially insecure people out there seeking for instant popularity!!!
Kelso says
OK OK OK…. enough already…. like HELLO Harry Potter with spoilers or none theres gunna be hyper thats HUGE just because its HARRY POTTER for crying out loud and who cares about JK Rowlings money income an what not?! shes gotten lucky with her writing, writers usually want that to happen so i dont think its for us to judge her on if shes getting paid or not… i personally LOVE the HP series… its awesome and it seems that this group of people who love the books/movies their gunna continue to go buy the merch and pay any price to see Daniel Randcliff naked in a play or what ev BECAUSE their fans, they apprieciate everything associated with it! So- i guess people will see that and might think its a weakness to get a dig at these famous/talented people BUT oh well thats life, so let them. theres always gunna be TWO DIFFERENT SIDES of the spectrum, no matter what the topic is… so i say let by gons be by gons… ^_^
Liz says
Where the hell are the spoilers? I want to see the spoilers.
Optimus Prime says
Charity Babbage (Muggle Studies teacher) dies. Captured and killed by Death Eaters in the intro.
Hedwig dies. Killed by Death Eaters in a flying battle.
Mad Eye Moody dies. Killed by Voldemort in a flying battle. Voldermort can fly without a broom or other external device.
Rufus Scrimeour dies, Death Eaters then take over the Ministry of Magic and England.
Tonk’s dad dies. Killed while on the run from Death Eaters and roving gangs of anti-mudblood KKK-types.
Wormtail dies. He spared Harry because Harry spared him in Prisoner of Azkaban. His silver hand then comes to life and chokes him to death.
Dobby dies. Knifed in the chest by Bellatrix.
Crabbe dies. Lost control of his own dark magic fire spell, which also destroys Ravenclaw’s diadem, the 5th horcrux.
Fred dies.
Tonks dies.
Lupin dies. The above 3 die fighting Death Eaters at Hogwarts.
Colin Creevy (the annoying Harry Potter fan kid with the camera introduced in Chamber of Secrets) dies.
Snape dies. Bitten by Nagani. Gives up his memories to Harry before he dies. Reveals he was good all along, was in love with Lily Potter, Dumbledore’s plans, and that Harry is the 7th Horcrux and must be killed by Voldemort.
Harry Potter dies. Gets Avada Kedavra’d by Voldermort, but Dumbledore pulls an Obi-Wan Kenobi and guides Harry back to life. Harry’s death destroys the part of him that was the horcrux.
Neville uses Gryfindor’s sword to kill Nagani the snake (6th horcrux)
Bellatrix dies. Killed in a duel vs Mrs Weasley.
Voldemort dies. Killed by a cop out when he and Harry both fire at the same time ala Goblet of Fire, his Avada Kedavra gets reflected back because the wand he was using was owned by Harry.
19 years later…
Harry and Ginny get married, and have 3 kids.
Hermoine and Ron get married, and have 2 kids.
They meet Lupin and Tonks’ kid and Malfoy’s kid at Kings Cross Station.
JoelB says
Has the rest of the world got the Potter book yet?
Thanks to the international dateline Aussies & (NZers) might well be the first to see it. Unless I’m wrong about this.
It was out this morning at 9am. If I could’ve been bothered I’ld have bought a copy and spoiled it for everyone.
Optimus Prime says
We downloaded the leaked edition and read it before hand. On the night of the release, we went as Autobots (the Optimus Prime voice changer helmet) and went to a Walmart release party.
We played “Harry Potter Trivia” with the fans in line:
Q: What do the following characters have in common?
Muggle Studies professor Charity Babbage, Hedwig, Mad Eye Moody, Minister of Magic Rufus Scrimgeour, Wormtail, Dobby, Vincent Crabbe Jr., Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Colin Creevy, Severus Snape, Bellatrix Lestrange, Harry Potter and Tom “Voldemort” Riddle have in common?
A: They all die in Deathly Hallows!
People were pretty mad. One old lady got up in Bumblebee’s face and we thought she was going to slug him.
Kestrel says
Thanks Optimus. The reviews are glowing and I’m looking forward to reading the book (already bought it), but I don’t want to speed-read through trying to figure out the big “how it ends”. I’d rather enjoy the story when I have some time, as opposed to burning through it to get answers. Your post was exactly what I was looking for.