Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – Coming Sort Of Soonish

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows JK Rowling Book TitleHarry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. Get used to saying that – Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows is the official title for the final Harry Potter book, so it's inevitable that Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows will outsell The Bible at some point.

JK Rowling and the Harry Potter publishers yesterday announced the title of the final Harry Potter book yesterday via an annoyingly complicated online game of hangman – Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. Now, that's all we know about the final Harry Potter book – there isn't even a release date yet – and it's leading to all sorts of speculation from the children and adults who can't read proper books yet that make up the Harry Potter fan army. Deathly Hallows? Sounds a bit gloomy – perhaps Harry Potter really will die at the end of the book like everyone says. And just what the hell is a 'deathly hallows' anyway? However, hecklerspray can exclusively reveal that Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows is a hoax name to give the impression that Harry Potter will come to a nasty end – the real title of the book is Harry Potter And The Lovely Rainbow-Coloured Munchkin Rabbits Of Bibbledy Bobbledy Lane.

OK, OK – while we were getting caught up in the blistering excitement of JK Rowling sort of having a vaguely Harry Potter-themed dream once, we missed the bigger picture. That bigger picture was the unveiling of the title of the final Harry Potter book – Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. Which, as far as big pictures go, is pretty shit; but you can guarantee that millions of children right now are scrawling half-arsed crayon pictures of Harry Potter having a fight with Lord Voldemort so they can post it to JK Rowling with a note reading 'pleze maik dis va cuvva of Hari Pota n Da Defli Hello'. ABC reports:

Rowling's U.S. publisher, Scholastic Inc., released a brief statement Thursday announcing the name of the world's most anticipated children's book, the finale to her phenomenally popular fantasy series. No publication date or other details were offered. Rowling is still working on the book, she explained on her Web site in an entry posted early Thursday. 

So that's it. The last Harry Potter book has a name. But what does it mean? Something about dead saints, obviously, so we're expecting the villains to be All Saints, destroying everything in their path as revenge for the world ignoring their rubbish comeback album. And from the title can we guess what will happen in Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows? Will Harry Potter die like the man from the Carry On films said? Will Harry Potter kiss more girls like he does in the trailer for the new movie? But most of all, will JK Rowling make enough money from sales of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows that she can finally accomplish her dream of building a machine that uses the sun's power to destroy anybody who doesn't really like Harry Potter that much?

Now that everybody knows that Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows is called Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, everyone can get on with the rest of their lives again. Emma Watson can continue being ignored by boys, JK Rowling can continue to bitch and whine about how models are thinner than her and Daniel Radcliffe can take off all his clothes and blind more horses with sharp metal rods. And you? Well you can play JK Rowling's special little Harry Potter book title guessing game, can't you. ABC has the details:

If you go to jkrowling.com, click on the eraser and you will be taken to a room you'll see a window, a door and a mirror. In the mirror, you'll see a hallway. Click on the farthest doorknob and look for the Christmas tree. They click on the center of the door next to the mirror and a wreath appears. Then click on the top of the mirror and you'll see a garland. Look for a cobweb next to the door. Click on it, and it will disappear. Now, look at the chimes in the window. Click on the second chime to the right, and hold it down. The chime will turn into the key, which opens the door. Click on the wrapped gift behind the door, then click on it again and figure out the title yourself by playing a game of hangman.

Here's a hint – the title of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows is Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. Good luck chums!

Read more:

Final Harry Potter Title Announced – ABC 


  1. Frodo8989 says

    Popularity will probably save Harry from the death Rowling envisioned onceapon a time.
    Kill off such a profitable franchise?
    Not on your life, or Harry’s either.

  2. Alan says

    Mr. Heritage,
    I almost, but not quite, feel sorry for you. You sound like an effete snob in your article. I’m a professional and I loved the Harry Potter series of books. In spite of the demands of my education and my profession, physician, I am not the fastest reader and I often don’t have time to read for pleasure. Well, I read JK Rowling’s entire series between Thanksgiving and New Year’s earlier this year. I can’t wait for her next book. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel your criticism of JK Rowling has any merit. You simply just don’t get it.

  3. Mumu Dancer says

    Well, Mr. Scrooge, bah humbug comes a bit early. I’m a children’s librarian and there are many reluctant readers of all ages who are reading a lot more books than before Harry Potter. Lighten up. Nobody is making you read. And by the way, you seem to know a lot about this subject for someone who is so above the fray.

  4. Moo Moo Dancer says

    Nice article, I was once a fan of Harry Potter but eventually outgrew the book. Although the article seems a little harsh, it is true and everyone else should just accept it. I’m not trying to start anything, but Alan sounds like an effete snob also. The way he complains sounds worse than this article.

  5. says

    Dear Alan,

    Kudos to you. I couldn’t have said it better myself! When I “go to Hogwarts,” as I like to say when I am going to read, I feel like a child again. Jk Rowling has an imagination beyond belief.

  6. Disbeliever says

    Sorry, but not quite. Despite its momentous reputation, I do believe Harry Potter will never outsell the Bible. That speaks for itself.

  7. says

    Fear not, Muggle-wonks & winky-tinkees! Harry Potter will join forces after dying by the One Who Shall Not Be Named with Caspar the friendly Ghost & the expertise of the Ghost Whisperer to enlist the X-Men to awaken the newbee “Heroes” around the world to well… buy the DVD!
    Wee say that Ms. J.K. R. is our HERO of the New Millennium by creating an imaginative empire of Magick & Mayhem where only TV dominated the sizzling brains of the muggle-wumps….
    More Power to Her & Her Progeny, with Goodliness & Munchking Magick for All
    yer Volcanic Correspondent on Mauna Kea ~~~ BzB loves JK @ GalaxyGarden.org ALOHA!

  8. GrumpyGus says

    First of all I’d just like to say kudos to you Mumu Dancer and Alan.
    Secondly, if you don’t like the series, Mr. Heritage, then do yourself and the rest of us a favor, and don’t read it. I, for one, do not like browsing through the internet trying to find legit information on the books, only to find a website that I thought, from the brief summary it stated, would prove to give me the information I needed. Instead I come across a foul, insensitive individual who, like was stated above, seems to know a lot more about the books than he’s letting on, considering this article was suppose to have come from someone who hates the series. You think that we, as Harry Potter/J.K. Rowling fans, are childish and do not know how to read any other ‘proper books’, and just for your information I do happen to read a lot more books than most of the people around me. It sounds like it’s you that needs to do the growing up, my friend. How does it feel to have your ‘work’ mocked and criticized? Not very good, hm? Have a nice day.

  9. says

    Ah, there’s nothing like reading a bunch of comments from people with no idea what website they’ve come to. Does the name “Hecklerspray” in the banner not give you any hint? God, it’s incredibly sad how many people cannot recognize satire. What a clump of fools you are, MuMu, Alan, GrumpyGus, etc. I suggest you all take yourselves over to The Onion website immediately. You’ll either gain a bit of a clue, or your head(s) will explode — either would improve things.
    By the way, I am a fan of the Harry Potter series.
    I also enjoy reading the Hecklerspray take on pop/celebrity culture.
    Have a nice day.

  10. Michael says


    Go harry potter and the deathly hallows. gosh this is gonna be great. and screw all of u’s who think its gonna be crap. its exciting. its gonna be great and u need to grow sum balls and learn how to appreciate some great works by j.k rowling.

  11. Melissa says

    I must say that I agree this Potter thing has gotten out of hand but, I’m just as caught up in it as every one else. I can hardly wait for the next movie ( or the last book ) I don’t beleive for an instant that Harry will snuff it now or in the near future , if he does Rowling is an idiot. Why kill of your personal money wagon? Even if Harry isn’t in school he will always be iin the magical world wich = cash at hand if ever needed for Rowling and her family. You never know when you may need a quick dime. That said, some one has to go and I say we all liked dear Ron Weasley while he was with us but, men will do some crazy things ,even give their own lives, for the women they love ( Hermione ).

  12. hello says

    I predict that something like this will happen in harry potter and the deathly hallows:

    As Harry knealt down between the graves of his parents Lily and James Potter, he couldn’t quite believe that this was all there was of a family. He turned around and saw his two best friends Ron and Hermionie standing a little further down at the grave of Sirius where no body lay. As Harry stood up he still couldn’t quite believe that it had come down to him, the ‘chosen one’ as he was refferred to, being the one to fight Voldemort. As Harry turnd to walk away he heard a bark of a voice say “You didn’t actually think I was dead did you Harry?”. Harry, Ron and Hermionie turned around fast and saw that the man standing there was Sirius.

  13. says

    No- I don’t think Deathly Hallows will out sell the bible and I alos don’t think that JK Rowling wants to go into messing with the bible, but if that was her plot of the story, she has to use it. Also, has anyone noticed anything on the Lathorian Legend? The Definition of Horcruxes cites the legend. The legend is: making four objects holy. A cup, a locket, a baton or wand, and a crown. Is that just by chance? *SPOILER* The Four Objects (Horcruxes) that Voldermort hid his soul in are hidden: and Harry must find and destroy them before Voldermort kills him, so Harry has a chance to even fight him. The Objects (Horcurxes) might be marked Holy- I don’t know what Holy means in that since but it definitly connects to the legend.

  14. Arushi says

    Geez, no one is forcing you to read Harry Potter. HP is a great book, and many of us are waiting for the last one, and have been for years. Its selling so much coz its a great book.

  15. ayesha says

    Harry Potter is the best book in the world that anyone has ever read.I hope that HP will be 4ever at in my heart.Please JKRowling Please do notkill him.I bet that harry and Ginny might get together.

  16. amused says

    brilliant article. loved the bit about children and adults who can’t read proper books yet.

  17. says

    Hilarious article. I think that Deathly Hallows *will* outsell the Bible this year. Might be the first time ever that any book has outsold the Bible in any given year, but if any book is going to do it, it’s going to be this one. JK is a great marketer. You’ve gotta give her that. The “who’s going to die” thing is really what everyone’s talking about.

  18. macus says

    i got a early copy of Harrypotter and the deathly hallows and can say harry potter gets killied off

  19. says

    when i got the copy of the last series of harry potter, i felt like floating in the air coz it’s really remarkable. the story is unexpected that it would never be. thank you to j.k. rowling that she published the harry potter.

  20. Pheobs says

    I don’t know how the Harry Potter hype got so out of hand, but I have to admit it’s a lot of fun. It’s a book and everyone is really excited for it, heck I’m really excited for it. And Rowling had a great idea and now she’s reaping the benefits, that’s how money is made no ones yanking those dollars out of the hands of the people, we’re throwing our money at the bookstores and movie theaters because we can’t get enough. It’s entertainment and people enjoy the books and movies. Next thing we’re going to hear is STOP HAVING FUN BECAUSE YOU’RE ANNOYING ME! Please…. get over it.

  21. wilda says

    ummm…this is unbelievable to hear that…
    i believe that Rowling must not disappointing us as harry potter fans!!

  22. KG says

    i have been reading harry potter for years and will probably never stop liking it. i read as much as i can and love it, and i have to say they’re the best series i’ve ever read. you dont have to bash a book, the author, everyone who has read it and everything about it just because you’re too stuck up to realise that you’re not the only person in the world.

    personally, i dont get people like you. you have as much right not to like it as the thousands of people who do, have to like it. but i dont bash everyone who likes something i dislike, or vise-versa, so get over yourself and give us a break, please.

    thank you for the best books i have ever read, JK Rowling!

  23. says

    harry potter books are very entertaining and are even better to watch i have read all the books and watched all the films that are out so far. i do feel there was no need for j.k rowling to come out with dumbledore being gay as it is unessary

    your point of view is you dont like the book fair enough you might as well keep it to yourself there are thousands of harry potter fans out there. Harry potter is one of my favorite films i enjoy it and many people will not thank you for writting a pathetic artical

  24. alex says

    i luv the whole series of Harry Potter.Maybe in the summer i will read all the series again.We all THANK YOU J.K Rowling!