It's often easy to take a side in other people's arguments, but that's because the other people arguing don't tend to be Charlotte Church and Scooch – frankly a fight between Charlotte Church and Scooch is a fight with no winners, including you.

For some ungodly reason that we really aren't too aware of, Charlotte Church has 'sensationally' hit out at UK Eurovision 2007 representatives Scooch, and Scooch have 'sensationally' hit back at Charlotte Church. Chances are that you, like us, are guessing that this Charlotte Church/ Scooch brawl basically consists of each party furiously claiming that they're crappier and generally more annoying than anyone else, but you're wrong – the real beef between Charlotte Church and Scooch is, well, crappier and generally more annoying.   

Now that Charlotte Church is definitely pregnant with a baby, she's going to need to make some sacrifices – for instance, the days when Charlotte Church can go out, drink three times her own bodyweight in WKD, smoke a million cigarettes at once and have a fight with her own reflection are sadly over – but some of Charlotte Church's old lifestyle can remain for now. Unfortunately this means that Charlotte Church can still make her rubbish TV show, but happily it means that she can still slag people off whenever the mood takes her.

In the past, Charlotte Church has slagged off Pavarotti and George Bush, just about everybody else in the whole world and her own TV show, but now Charlotte has a new target in her sights – Scooch.

You can't have forgotten who Scooch are already, can you? Scooch are going to Eurovision to represent the UK this year after winning the country over with their song Flying The Flag – a bewildering mix of sub-Steps bad pop, mild xenophobia, flight attendant uniforms and a creepy man offering to give you a skincrawling blowjob. With Flying The Flag, Scooch beat such luminaries as Justin Hawkins from The Darkness, one of Atomic Kitten and Cyndi – the world's most anonymous French woman. And by going to Eurovision, Scooch have really upset the applecart.

Justin Hawkins has already called the public "racist or stupid" for picking Scooch over his sub-Agadoo Eurovision caterwaul, and now Charlotte Church is digging her claws into Scooch as well. Talking on her website's video blog, Charlotte Church said this:

"I watched a bit of Eurovision which was a load of bollocks. A load of absolute shit, I've never seen shit like it because Scooch are really shit. I didn't watch all of it because I can't bear how much shit it really is, but I just saw the last bit. It was down to Cyndi and Scooch and Cyndi had a really nice voice and it was a reasonable song so I thought they should have got through. But Scooch… it made every pore in my body itch with embarrassment."

Although the only real reaction to Charlotte Church laying into you is to roll your eyes and get on with your day, Scooch have decided to take the bait and expose their inner retired right-wing schoolteachers, as This Is London reports:

Hitting back, Scooch band member Russ Spencer said: "What a pity that 'The Voice of an Angel' has acquired the mouth of a sewer." And fellow singer David Ducasse added: "Charlotte's outburst seems to be a cheap, and attention seeking, reaction of a young lady who should know better." Member Caroline Barnes said: "It is natural that not everybody is going to like our song. For some reason good fun pop music offends some people. But there is a polite way to express your opinion, something that Charlotte wasn't able to do." Completing the band's defence, Natalie Powers said: "As a mother of a young child myself I find her behaviour and language quite unacceptable. What kind of role model is this for a mum-to-be?"

All this has left us kind of hoping that Scooch win Eurovision in May – just so we can hear their new album, thought to contain gems like Bloody Hoodies, I'll Put A Bloody Knife Through That Ball If it Comes Over My Fence Again and I Blame The Immigrants For Every Bad Thing That Has Ever Happened In My Life.

Anyway, who do you think should win this argument? Charlotte Church has said that Scooch are shit – which they really are – but isn't that a bit rich coming from the woman who sang Crazy Chick? Use the comment box below to help end this pathetic dilemma.

Read more:

Scooch Hit Back At 'Foul-Mouthed' Charlotte - This Is London