Make no mistake about it, Britney Spears is back! Back doing what she loves doing more than anything – namely dancing around like a floozy and miming songs from back when people still liked her for no more than 20 minutes at a time.
Britney Spears' 'secret' comeback tour continues apace, with another show taking place last night at the Anaheim House Of Blues. All in all it was mostly identical to the first Britney Spears comeback show in San Diego on Tuesday night – songs were mimed, wigs were worn, a boy got a lapdance, the whole thing couldn't have been any less secret if Britney Spears hired a million towncryers to shout "Britney Spears! Britney Spears! Britney Spears!" over and over again outside the House Of Blues a year in advance of the show – but it's just another reminder that Britney Spears is back in town. And that's where she'll stay, so long as she can steer clear of any more hair clippers or wads of Kevin Federline man-goo for any sensible amount of time.
Comebacks are funny things. When Elvis wanted to make a comeback he slimmed down, dressed head to toe in leather and screamed out some songs in a boxing ring. When Kylie Minogue made a comeback she stopped having cancer. And when Gareth Gates made a comeback, well, nobody really noticed. But we're told he did, apparently.
But Britney Spears is different – she likes her comebacks to be at least superficially low-key. And Britney has a lot to come back from, too – over the last three years her once-huge fanbase has been whittled away by strange religious encounters, a near-unexplainable constant level of pregnancy, an extreme drop-off in sexiness and the constant 24/7 sight of Britney Spears' bare vagina.
So when Britney Spears performed her first secret comeback show in San Diego on Tuesday, she had a lot to prove – like that she still had the stamina to perform and that she was still able to cut it as a live singer. And did Britney Spears prove this? Well, no, obviously – she mimed five songs and then buggered off. But, you know, it's a start – and one that Britney Spears was keen to expand upon last night at another secret comeback show at the House Of Blues in Anaheim.
Of course, the difference was that by last night even Anaheim's stupidest cloth-headed nitwit knew that the so-called M+Ms show was really the secret comeback Britney Spears mimeathon, with local radio stations even announcing it as a Britney show on air. And this meant that Britney Spears was playing in front of her own crowd. Well, to some extent. The Los Angeles Times reports:
Marcy Saylor, 17, of Northridge, won her ticket to see the M+M's by calling in to KIIS-FM (102.7) on Monday; the station hyped the gig as a "secret show for Britney Spears." And although Saylor described herself as a onetime Spears fan, she admitted she was drawn to Wednesday's performance more out of morbid curiosity than any appreciation of the singer's music. "I've known her since her first record, and I kind of grew out of it," Saylor said before the show. "But I really want to see her wig fall off."
And the Anaheim show itself was identical to the San Diego show – Britney Spears came on, mimed through a handful of songs, did a sort of lapdance thing to a boy and then left the stage after around the 20 minute mark.
While the show itself is clearly a stepping stone to help Britney Spears regain some amount of confidence, it'd be a lot more helpful if she'd do something for the younger fans. After all, it's been three years since Britney Spears last performed live and so a large slice of her audience will only recognise her from the headlines she's created in recent years. Let's hope Britney Spears rectifies this at tonight's show by staging an encore comprising of a spazzed-out umbrella attack on a car, a relentless thumping-out of redneck babies and the words "I am the Antichrist!" screamed repeatedly at the audience with the number 666 daubed across her head and a bed tied around her neck.
You know, something for the kids.
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Johannes says
Just found your site… absolutely love, I had to blog about it. You’ve put my love of hate for celebrities back where it belongs: on your site. Keep doing it with more disdain, please!!!! http://mediacook.blogspot.com/
rachel says
miming come on britney. last of the big comebacks you are. are you only doing secret shows cos your to scared no one will turn up if they know that you are going to be there. you had it good once, but forget it now. k-fed ruined you in more ways than 1.