It's been three years since Britney Spears last performed live, and a lot of things have changed in those three years – the biggest change, of course, being that nobody really thinks Britney Spears is very good any more.
But Britney Spears wants to prove that you're wrong. Well, not you exactly – Britney Spears wants to prove to a handful of people at a San Diego club who mistakenly thought that they were going to see an act called M+Ms last night that they're wrong. Yes, Britney Spears hit the stage at the House Of Blues last night for her slightly-anticipated 'secret' comeback show.
And was it good? Well, so long as you happily describe the sight of a past-her-prime rehab-bound single mother of two in a wig miming to a bunch of her old records for about quarter of an hour as good, then – yes – we'll admit that Britney Spears really knocked it out of the park.
A lot has happened since Britney Spears last performed in front of a live audience in 2004 – back then hecklerspray didn't exist and nor did Peanut Butter Chunky Kit-Kat bars, Reggae Reggae Sauce or Shilpa Shetty – but that isn't to say that Britney Spears has just been slobbing around in the intervening years.
Britney has dabbled in other art forms – she's acted on television shows and written all sorts of bad poetry; she's given birth twice – once to the baby she almost killed and once to the mistake; and she's even found the time to divorce her layabout husband Kevin Federline and fire her manger. But performing is what Britney Spears earns most money for loves to do more than anything, so it was only a matter of time before she announced her comeback.
And that comeback happened last night at the House Of Blues in San Diego. Although Britney Spears was billed as an act called M+Ms, the fact that a Britney Spears concert was taking place couldn't have been any less of a secret if it tried. And as such, the tension in the crowd was palpable. Was Britney Spears going to be wearing any knickers? Was Britney Spears going to shave off her hair during the breakdown to Slave 4 U? Was Britney Spears going to daub the letters '666' across her head, run around the venue screaming that she was the Antichrist and then try to kill herself with a sheet for an encore?
Sadly the answers to those questions were all 'no'. But the answer to the question 'Was Britney Spears going to just mime to five songs and then bugger off after 16 minutes?' was an inevitable 'yes', since that's exactly what Britney Spears did.
But remember that last night's show was just Britney's first tentative step back into the world of performing, so you should forgive her for being a bit crap. Before long, we're sure that Britney Spears will have gained enough confidence to stage a spectacular stadium tour complete with special effects, costume changes and a team of percussionists beating out the rhythm to Toxic on a fleet of cars with specially-made umbrellas. This Is London reports:
A source told American magazine Us Weekly: "Britney's shows at the House of Blues are just a warm-up. They are just to get her feet wet." Spears reportedly lip-synced the set, which also featured her tracks Toxic and I'm A Slave 4 U. While her entourage caused havoc in the streets earlier in the day, the singer didn't begin her show until after 10pm. At the end of the whirlwind gig, she told the crowd: "Thanks everyone for coming."
Despite the things we've said about Britney Spears in the past, we're honestly very happy that she's decided to get her feet wet by playing a small secret comeback show. But that's only because it makes a nice change from her getting her feet wet by blasting jets of vomit all over them.
Read more:
She's Back! Britney Takes To The Stage – For 16 Minutes – This Is London
JUSTIN says
FOR ANYONE WHO MAY COMPLAIN: Did you fucks ever think maybe she’s making people wait for her new music, because it makes it increases the demand? This is the very first of 3 or 4 concerts she’s supposed to be doing. Who knows what she may do before the end? Also, if she doesn’t perform any new music, I will just want her new CD even more when it comes out. Did you hear the people going crazy just hearing her old stuff? One more thing-she was only charging $35.00 for the tickets. What people are selling them for on Ebay she has no control over. It doesn’t matter what you say, this comeback is going to happen, even if she doesn’t do it perfectly. If people can get over the shaved head, do you think they’re going to care if she’s lip-synching or her outfits aren’t perfect? She’s always lip-synched in concert, and WE DON’T CARE! We’d rather see her kick ass keeping up with her dancers. It’s called entertainment. Shut the fuck up you complaining-ass bitter BITCHES!
Shiver says
Timberlake, is that you?
Does Britney pay more or less to post defensive comments on Web sites for her than, say, being married to her? I hope more, or you’re getting ripped off.
Bill says
Wow! only $35 to watch Britney do her best Milli Vanilli impression in a wig no less. What a bargain!
This is the first of 3-4 more concerts? Do you think she might actually, umm, sing?
I’m not one to normally flame other posters but obviously there is a flamer in-like w/ Ms Spears.
I suspect Justin has mother issues too.
Geiser says
All went down since she gone “wack”. Remember boys and girls, there is no future if you try to act black when you’re not. She looked stupid and lost the respect of all the fans that don’t admire such idiots with an identity crisis.
Dabby says
Britney fired her manger? Well, I suppose there isn’t a great demand for those these days anyway.
West says
She has problems! Both physically and mentally. You can either hate her or like her, you decide. Each one has their own opinions about who she is, respect what people have to say and leave it at that!
Gilbert Wham says
‘respect what people have to say’? What, on the internet? I can’t see that keeping me entertained for long. I *am* at work you know. There has to be something to do here. And poking fun at the foolish appears to be it…
Pschedelic Mushroom says
I can’t believe that Britney Spears, a no-talent manufactured artist has won Grammys, and alot of real talented artist and people who can actually sing have been deprived of such honors? What in hell is going on here? I would not waste my hard earned dollars on a joke like her. A comeback? a comeback from what?!
belu fan numero 1 de brit says
britney te super amo!! sos la mejor!! nunca va a ver una mejor q vos!! nunca!! nunca!!
te super adoro!! desde argentina te estoy alentando, queriendo, apoyando y sobre todo amando!!!!
SOS LA MEJOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRITNEY SPEARS:
T
E
A
M
O
ssa says
i lovu bretni
i whant hem plese
ahmed says
i love britneyspears i want to get married