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Matthew Laidlow

Little Mix Can Supposedly Change People’s Lives

by Matthew Laidlow

Tomorrow is the final of the X Factor. It’s the one episode of the series that most of the general public tune-in for, apart from the audition rounds when we can laugh at delusional, frog-eyed members of the public. Other talent shows may spend the maximum of sixty minutes announcing their winner, but X Factor [...]

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Adele In Cancelled American Tour Rider Shocker!

by Matthew Laidlow

You might not enjoy the music of Adele, but when award season rolls round, she won’t have enough room in her bathroom to show them all off. With six Grammy nominations and probable Brit nods, she’s likely to sweep the board. You can’t escape Adele’s music due to her success, and so, an extensive tour [...]

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Underworld Set To Make The 2012 Olympics A Little More Exciting

by Matthew Laidlow

Yay! The Olympics! Brilliant! Who wouldn’t want to watch athletes competing in events for an oversized piece of bling? But hey, it’s great for the nation right? Whole decayed areas have been wiped out to make way for wondrous architecture that’ll sit dormant for years to come. Excellent, that’s just the thing that our stupid [...]

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Mariah Yeater Likes To Take Drugs Infront Of Kids Supposedly

by Matthew Laidlow

Don’t recognise the name of the person in the article heading? Don’t worry, most people don’t either. It’s only when you mention that she’s the alleged bearer of Justin Bieber’s child that causes people’s ears to prick up. In a strange way, we kinda like this paternity situation because Bieber went totally badass on her. [...]

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Amy Childs Gets The Hump With Her Ex Castmates Slagging Off Her New Show

by Matthew Laidlow

God bless national stereotypes, without them, some comedians wouldn’t be able to fill the first twenty minutes of their stand-up gigs. The loveable Irish are regarded as potato munching drunks whilst the Welsh have a fixation with sheep for some reason. It would be difficult for TV producers to get away with creating shows that [...]

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Chris Brown Gets Owned By Kansas Rapper Mac Lethal

by Matthew Laidlow

All industries are dominated by a few major players -  just look at the computer you’re using. It’ll either be a PC or a magical Mac that claims to aid you in ways you didn’t think existed. In the music world, different genres have varied leading individuals. In the world of rap & hip-hop, there [...]

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Dr. Conrad Murray Sexily Appeals His Conviction And Acts As His Own Sexy Lawyer

by Matthew Laidlow

At the moment, ‘Sexy’ Dr. Conrad Murray will be inside a jail cell, confined to a space that’ll make him feel like an animal at the zoo. Last week, justice was delivered to Michael Jackson’s former doctor as punishment for his the star’s manslaughter. Four years was the term handed down by the judge who [...]

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Daniel Craig Probably Won’t Be Inviting The Kardashians Round Anytime Soon

by Matthew Laidlow

Daniel Craig is James Bond. You know that. Everyone knows that. He won’t be remembered for anything other than his James Bondiness and walking out of the sea with his little trunks on. Not a bad CV all told. Unlike a lot of celebrity types, Daniel Craig doesn’t flaunt his fame and attempts to maintain [...]

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Muse Split Rumours Were Just An Unfortunate Hoax

by Matthew Laidlow

At the heckerspray bedsit, there isn’t really a lot to look forward to. Life is, for the most part, despairingly grim. We can’t afford to eat. We can’t afford to go on strike. We can’t even manage the payments on our glue habit. It’s awful. All we have is our dreams. Dreams are free… and [...]

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Kelly Rowland Loves A Good Ol’ Sex Shop

by Matthew Laidlow

Who doesn’t love the X-Factor? Oh that’s right, people who listen to supposed “real” music. They’re the types who’ll only listen to music made by those who play their own instruments, write songs without the word “love” being mentioned and only release fifty copies of their album on limited edition cassette tapes. For everyone else, [...]

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