People have all sorts of warped ideas about what constitutes ?sexy.? Simply type a few random words into Google alongside the word ?porn? and you're quite likely to find a result. Is anyone up for some hot and steamy ?Pesticide Snorkelling Orgy? action? Anyone? Okay…
Even we know that sordid fantasies are usually kept locked away in peoples’ sick imaginations. In reality, the common person needs something realistic to go weak at the knees over. For the majority of men, the briefest flash of a female boob will send their shrivelled members into arousal overdrive.
However, girls look for more than a gawp at the genitals of someone they fancy. Females from the comical Team Breezy gang seem slobber instantly when Chris Brown?s name is mentioned. Perhaps they all have a fetish for a domestic abuser. According to fellow rapper Fat Joe, Team Breezy couldn't get enough of his fists at a recent video shoot.
You?d be forgiven for thinking that Chris Brown is the lowest of the low when it comes to humankind due to him using Rihanna?s face as a punch bag when the couple were together but because commercial rap and R&B foregoes morality in place of looks, body ink and how many cars you can fit in a garage, it's been easy for Brown to restore his fanbase.
With a smile, a wink and a flick of his fists, girls have been swooning all over the place. Just like they've been given a left hook off the squirt himself.
When famous people fall from grace, they usually look at whoring themselves out to random products so they can make some cash. Sometimes it can work, just look at George Foreman and his Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine (other expensive toastie makers are available). A brief history lesson for those of you who have never heard of Mr Foreman, he was a boxer who used his fists for competitive sport, not for hitting women.
Let’s run that through again: top athlete & sportsman… convicted felon.
With a name like Fat Joe, which sounds like a New York Pizza Establishment (“Ey! Come to Fat Joe’s. He’ll sort you out with a Calzone. Best in the city!). Although the image of a dough chef named Fat Joe amuses us, he's just another of those rapper types who hasn't really done much since he grabbed our attention in 2002 with single ?What's Love? that featured Ashanti ? someone else who's seemingly done a disappearing act.
If Fat Joe thinks the influence of Chris ?Slugger? Brown will help him, then he's wrong. At best, Chris Brown will pass on beauty tips like “how to look like a buck toothed muppet that was kicked around a workshop by an irate Jim Henson”. Speaking on the set of a video that we're not going to bother mentioning, Fat Joe said:
“You know, that guy, he’s like the ‘guy Beyonc?’. This guy takes his shirt off – I played it for a couple of chicks before we released it and they just start goin’ crazy and buggin’ out like, ‘Oh my God, yo’. You know, he’s a sex symbol.”
Remember everyone, Beyonc? now has a bit of a tummy scar and was temporarily covered in blood and might have a few stitches for a while but she’s still possibly the most attractive woman on earth. Chris has some serious thigh work to do before he can claim to come close.
Frankly, we?d happily volunteer to rub our body parts in glass covered nettles if it meant that Chris Brown couldn't put imagine of his penis on the internet again. ONE IS ENOUGH!