When an ex-serial sex pest and constantly touring pop star get married, you can be assured that everything will end happily ever after, can't you? With constant media coverage covering their every move like they're some sort of wild animal, what could go wrong for Katy Perry and Russell Brand?
You have to question the actions of a couple who haven't been together long since their Hindu ceremony just over a year ago. Not because we have anything against a religion that prays to elephants, but Katy Perry?s parents are devout Christians. So you'd at least think that her folks would want God to give the thumbs up over Ganesha.
As of yet, there have been no reasons given as to why the marriage collapsed. But before anyone suggests that the two simply drifted apart, wild theories are already being thrown around. Of course, we're inclined to believe them, so imagine our surprise that Rihanna?s name has been named as one of the rotters who messed everything up.
Doing a piece of detective work based on pure lyrical logic, we are going on a hunch that Katy Perry kissed a girl and liked it. Presumably, her husband Russell Brand didn't and subsequently filed for divorce. Though we imagine it was done by his PA or faxed through.
So where does Rihanna fit into all of this? 2011 saw her release a new single every 36 seconds and tour a record number of cities that she'd never heard of. HELLO MANCHESTSHIRE! Well it appears the crazy and up-for-anything Russell Brand has calmed down a helluva lot. Gone are the days when he shot junk and dressed as Osama Bin Laden for work. Instead, free range organic tea is his poison of chance. Rihanna doesn't approach life calmly. In fact, she might have been partying too hard with Katy Perry leading her to a path that Brand disapproved of. According to reports:
?Russell didn’t like his wife hanging out with the sexy singer because the women used to party together. And Russell, being a recovering heroin and sex addict, didn’t think the friendship between Katy and the singer from Barbados was good for their marriage.?
Everybody likes a good party don't they? Even we?ll try and hide the usual miserable expression on our faces for something people call a ?smile? when the opening shapes of the conga are thrown. But if the same reports are to be believed, the situation might be a little awkward:
?Rihanna called and texted Katy all throughout the New Year’s Eve weekend, perhaps influencing her on what to do and where to go to stay out of the limelight. If this is the case, the superstar may have influenced Katy to give up on her marriage and move on as a single woman. And maybe that’s why Katy has been spotted happy in Hawaii, while Russell is looking gloom in London.?
Trust us; they?ll be some sort of musical retort to this marriage breakdown. There's no doubt that Katy Perry will enlist her pal Rihanna to re-record this nineties classic with directly altered lyrics to show Russell Brand who's boss:
Cookie Monster says
I’d like to understand if there is a celebrity somewhere, anywhere, who is a “former heroin addict” that does not also have “sex addict” on their resume. I mean, we’re talking about people with more money than brains who like to stick things into places where said things don’t usually go, and for fun, aren’t we? Meh… he just comes-off as a giant prick, is what I’m getting at.
Otherwise, I would like to see someone try to be gloomy in Hawaii whilst their douche-clown husband is being happy in London. It just doesn’t figure, does it?