Here at hecklerspray we live for soaps and spend?literally?weeks minutes gathering insider information to bring you these spoilers every week, and every night before we snuggle up together in our single bed we all sing this while holding hands and remember that even though we’re complete losers, we’ll never be as needy as you lot.
So off we go to Eastenders where Ryan isn’t dead, although, he may as well be by the amount of wailing and gnashing of teeth that’s been going on. Whitney returns home to tell Lauren that Ryan has bolted and between tears, Whitney’s mascara and Lauren’s fringe the likelihood of them being able to see him if he did come back is pretty slim anyway.
Mandy Salter, who left in 1994 returns to Eastenders this week and we really hope she isn’t as annoying as she was back then. Ian Beale goes to a strip club and sees Mandy being thrown out. She then hijacks Beale and returns to Albert Square where the police turn up and Ian gets arrested for attempting to solicit a?prostitute. It gets better. He gets back from the police station, invites Mandy to stay with him where she ?draws a beard on him and hides his phone in a jelly. IN A FUCKING JELLY!!