Busta Rhymes is famous for his rapid-fire flow, but there's a chance that the only time Busta Rhymes will get to use this skill over the next two years is when he needs to swiftly convince his burly cellmate not to anally brutalise him in his sleep.
Because Busta Rhymes' extraordinary run of allegedly being quite a violent dick to people seems to have caught up with him. Although the two assault charges against Busta Rhymes looked set to come to nothing when a judge offered him a plea bargain last month, the way that Busta Rhymes almost immediately ran a red light on a suspended license means that the plea deal is now off, and Busta Rhymes now faces two years in jail when he stands trial in May. And if that happens, Busta Rhymes will only be singing one tune until 2009 – Put Your Hands Why My Eyes Can See (Because I Don't Want You Hitting Me On The Head With Some Rubble In A Sock).
Although it's clear that Britain hates rappers – what with banning Snoop Dogg and arresting DMX and all – America seems to be catching up. Yes, America lets tiny female rappers spray glue around shops until she's rugby-tackled, and it allows hip-hop moguls to punch men until their arse catches fire, but it sure is showing a strong hand to Busta Rhymes.
In retrospect, maybe the dumbest thing that Busta Rhymes has ever done – not including doing the voices for the Rugrats movie – was keeping quiet in the wake of his bodyguard's fatal shooting last year. Busta Rhymes' stonewalling meant that the gunman was never caught and – more pertinently – it meant that the NYPD were never more than a couple of steps behind Busta Rhymes. They were there when Busta Rhymes beat up an autograph hunter, they were there when Busta Rhymes beat up a man who spat at his car, they were there when Busta Rhymes beat up his unpaid driver and they were there when Busta Rhymes tried to make a shitty-looking film.
Despite getting in trouble time and time again, the judge in charge of some of these cases still agreed to offer Busta Rhymes a plea deal, where Busta would avoid jail for assault but be placed on a three year probation and ordered to rap at children from time to time. Two days after deciding to consider the bargain, though, Busta Rhymes ran a red light in his car, got stopped by police and was found to be driving on a suspended license – and that's left Busta Rhymes in a whole lot of trouble, as E! Online reports:
That bust—the latest in a string of run-ins with the law for Busta over the past year—was apparently enough to convince Kennedy that maybe it was time Rhymes faced the music. "The court's offer is off the table," the judge told the 34-year-old emcee. After the judge withdrew her offer, the Brooklyn-born Rhymes, real name Trevor Smith, rejected a follow-up offer from prosecutors that was not as enticing—one year in jail for each of the assault charges, to be served concurrently, and a $500 fine for driving with a suspended license.
So this means that – since the kiddie rapping is a no-go and Busta Rhymes doesn't want to go to jail as part of a plea bargain – his cases are going to trial where both assault charges, from the car-spitter and the unpaid driver, will be seen to at once. Going to trial is a risky move, since Busta Rhymes could end up with much longer in jail than he anticipated if he's found guilty. And that means that up to 3,000 bad pop singles a year could go without phoned-in guest-raps. How will the world cope?
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