When we become hip-hop stars – and we will once our debut It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Mostly Ignore Us And Call Us Gay Sometimes comes out – we're mostly looking forward to going into shops and destroying them with the power of our tantrums.
We've got a long way to go until we're as fantastic at making scenes in shops as Foxy Brown, though – just months after she narrowly avoided jail for kicking off and starting a fight in a nail salon, Foxy Brown is in trouble again after being arrested for doing exactly the same thing in a beauty supply shop in Florida. Always fearful of repeating herself too much, Foxy Brown decided to diversify this time by spitting at people and spraying glue everywhere instead of just punching someone in the face. Fair's fair, though – a shop worker did interrupt Foxy Brown's hair-fixing routine.
Foxy Brown is quickly turning into our favourite female rapper. We like her even more than… um… you know, the other one. The deaf one. Unless Foxy Brown is the deaf one, in which case Foxy Brown isn't isn't our favourite female rapper at all. All this modern music does confuse us.
Oh, we're just kidding. We know who Foxy Brown is – she's the performer of hits like Tramp, Baller Bitch and perennial poo-management anthem Run Yo Shit. But lately, music has come second in Foxy Brown's life to wigging out and beating people up in shops whenever it takes her fancy. Back in 2004 Foxy Brown was arrested after a scuffle over a $20 bill led to two smashed-up nail salon workers in New York. After not being able to decide if she was guilty of assault or not, Foxy Brown narrowly escaped jail for the charge in October, but was hit with heavy probation.
That probation meant that Foxy Brown had to a) attend anger management classes, b) seek permission from a probation officer before leaving New York and c) avoid throwing tantrums and beating people up in shops. And on Thursday Foxy Brown brilliantly threw a tantrum and assaulted someone while not in New York at the exact time she was supposed to be in an anger management class, as the New York Daily News reports:
Brown's latest brush with the law came at the Queen Beauty Supply shop in Pembroke Pines, Fla., where she and a friend allegedly tangled with owner Hayssam Ghoneim because Brown was taking too much time in the ladies' room fixing her hair as the store was supposed to be closing. "She was screaming, 'I have to finish my hair,'" Ghoneim said. "This is not a beauty salon," the owner said he told the women. "It's a store and you have to leave." Instead, Ghoneim said he was met with a spit-flying fury from the notoriously feisty Brown, who was wearing a denim miniskirt and knee-high stiletto boots. "It was the F-word, and the M-word and the A-word," Ghoneim said.
The M-word? What's this M-word? Minge? Mimsy? Monkeybum? We'd love to know.
Anyway, This incident ended when a policeman was forced to perform a 'takedown manoeuvre' on Foxy Brown, who now faces a prison spell for probation violation for her efforts. Not that it'll matter either way – we get the impression that Foxy Brown could reduce a jail to rubble if it looked at her funny.