Could rapper Busta Rhymes soon be spinning some mad skillz education to your kids? Looks like a frightening possibility. It’s been reported that instead of serving jail time, Busta’s been offered probation, which includes giving anti-violence talks to children for committing acts that can only be described as very pro-violence.
We know, we know… it’s hard to imagine a rapper in trouble with the law, but just what is it that Busta’s done? Oh, he just kicked one of his fans in the face and beat up his driver or something. But it’s not like he wasn’t provoked, or anything. The fan had spit on a car belonging to a member of Busta’s posse, and the driver says he was just trying to collect some back pay. What is it that the Golden Rule says? Beat the snot out of others as they do unto you. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Anyway, moving on…
It’s pretty apparent that Busta Rhymes gets the Mr. Congeniality of Rap Award. Now, to completely negate the old idiom of having the punishment fit the crime, let’s put him in front of children to tell them not to be violent. Okay, we shouldn’t be so quick to judge, but we do lots of things we shouldn’t and, yes, everyone deserves a chance to be forgiven, even people who still sport mullets – business in the front, party in the back, let’s just keep work and play separate and not try to combine it all into one haircut, people.
Bottom line: this paints an ominous picture of Busta Rhymes rapping Barney’s "I love you, you love me" with alternative explicit lyrics to a bunch of traumatised kiddies.
But really, we think this whole lecturing kids thing could be a great opportunity for Busta Rhymes to promote his album This Means War – all the while conveying the hazards of violence – especially since we doubt he’s winning any sales by going around drop kicking people. He can assure the youngsters that no-one profits from violence, after which he will flash his gold chains and bling-bling man jewelry as he drives away with his entourage in a procession of Cadillac Escalades decked out with PlayStations and plasma TV's.
In the spirit of helping Busta Rhymes out, we tried to quote some of the funky dope lyrics from This Means War, but the internet filter our mom installed to help us get over our obsession with Ryan Seacrest in tightie-whities blocked all the Busta sites because of all the naughty words. Dang it all… she ruins all our gangsta fun.
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Kippertron says
I just read that he’s been arrested again… those kids are gonna get rapped at for a hell of a long time!